You know it's sick when you are mad about a child. I HATE the n's foster child. Sick, sick, sick. Everyone says, "It's not his fault" and Jesus, I KNOW that. But he is the symbol of the whole thing, the owner of everything I wanted. The last time I saw the child, he went on and on about everything he has that was supposed to be my daughters' and mine: He said, "Do you like my house?" "My room is blue and big!" "I drove my boat yesterday!" "My papa took me fishing!" "My uncles took me to the baseball game!" I just think, "F*ck you." Seriously, I realized and still realize every day that anyone who drives you to despise a helpless child is pure evil. Intellectually, I know this kid is innocent and that part of my hatred is how much I loved him and then was discarded. But I seriously fantasize about him dying or going back to his mom so I don't have to look at him anymore. I think the biggest thing is that the N chose him over my daughters and me, sight unseen. AFTER the n loved or said he loved my daughters and endeared himself to them. We loved the n, cared for him, spoiled him, adored him. We are three smart, loving, kind, sweet, giving girls, and he said, "No thanks. I'll take the smack whore's baby instead and give him everything anyone could ever want or need. He'll have three powerful, rich men in his life, a huge house and cars and a boat. He'll spend weekends at my friend's beach houses. And when the time comes, he'll go to the best law school, I'll make him a judge, and he'll inherit everything my brothers and I own. As for you, helldweller and daughters, you get nothing but my pants around my ankles when I feel like a blow job."
The hypocrisy! I know that's something that kills you too, Happy: the "Father of the Year" bullshit. "Hi, it's just me and my orphaned child because I'm so wonderful." And no one knows there is a woman and children locked in the attic back home.
I spend time every day praying about my hatred of the foster child and praying for the anger and resentment to first be redirected to its rightful place and then to be taken away altogether.
You are so right and I can hear your anger and that's what I feel. Anger at how they can make us not like their children? That's so disgusting and true! I think my N really wants me envious of his son. His special son time! Who says crap like this? They are insane!
And you are right on about what you said the "Father of the Year" bullshit. "Hi, it's just me and my orphaned child because I'm so wonderful." And no one knows there is a woman and children locked in the attic back home.
I feel like my N uses his son to look the part of some wonderful man and I want to puke!! He uses his son to look like the "Father of the Year" and who wouldn't want him. Cub Scout Master and PTO President and all the ladies adore him there. I see how they act around him and they are all giddy. It pisses me off because it's all an act. He's not doing these things because he loves his son. He does these things because for one he gets to look so wonderful and the single dad part and for two his son is going to be a clone of him if he has a say in it. He is getting his son's adoration right now.
....didn't he text or email you something insulting relative to your son? Why in the world would you want to subject yourself, much less, YOUR SON, to the potential abuse of this heathen?
How could you even consider taking that chance with your precious child? You know what the monster is capable of, protect your son and yourself!!
You are very right. He has put my 8 year old son down big time and I have not forgotten. This is something that is eating at me big time.
My son keeps asking me when and if we are going on the boat and he really wants to be with the N's son. I'm not so sure he will get a chance to go on the boat. I took offense to his words again this morning and feel like we are second class to him and his son. I'm very tired of this feeling.
I am going to work here in a few minutes and will think more about it. It's hard when he hasn't pulled this card on me before with the "L" word.
Happy 1, surely this isn't your son's only friend in the world that he could play with? I'd be actively seeking other playmates/schoolmates and invite them over for weekend sleepovers or something to help your son get over the need to see the N's son. Children at this age aren't naive to what's going on in the situation, even though they aren't maybe talking about it and it would be best for his healthy development to be making other friends. Just a suggestion from a former single parent - I know it's hard, but sometimes we can do for our children that which we find almost impossible for ourselves.
I know you are right. I just have lost all patience and have turned into such a hermit. I have just sent my N some hate messages and I'm pissed and upset with everything right now. I don't know what to think or say. I'm fed up with everything. I'm fed up with myself and the freaken world right now. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm not strong enough for to fight this hurt and pain.
the l word to them means nothing, while the n and i were in a restraunt , he said it to the waitress[no he didnt know her] saying to me, she will remember me next time i come here, well if the face,s she was making behind his back where any thing to go by, she sure will, and i know your son ask,s when are we going to the boat, but at least as an adult you know what the narc is, your 8 year old doesnt, this is unfair on your son to have his hope,s built up, then dashed again when narc drops you both again. you know he has only said the l word to keep you on the back burner, well thats your choice as an adult, your 8year old has no choice, i hope this post does not offend you, but i have witness what the exn done to his own child and and how she has turned inward on herself,
I agree used,
I have great concerns about my son and how the N could hurt him mentally. I look at what he's done to me in 2 years and it scares the crap out of me. I know we have to protect our children and feel bad when I give in to things. I would never leave my son alone with him and never will. I am afraid he will mess with his head. It's not right. He acts as if his son does no wrong and is perfect. I seriously get so mad thinking about it all.
Glad you are back.
I will tell you one thing:
My N came over aftr I dumped him and took me in his arms, cradled me, stroked my face, told me he couldn't live without me, kissed me and beamed into my eyes--and told me he had cancer. I thought, wow. This is what it took for him to act the way I always dreamed. To remind you: it was all a carefully orchestrated lie. He didn't have cancer at all, and the next week he went somewhere overnight with another woman.
I think it's so sick that the N will lie about an illness. Will they stop at nothing!!???
I was wondering if my N was like the others because he wasn't being nice or telling me he loved me and then being a jerk. He has now pulled the love card and I'm trying very hard to fight my feelings on this.
I don't like being toyed with like this. It makes me mad. When he pulls his jerk card like he did already this morning, I have no intention of writing back.
Helldweller,
With me, my N told me he had a spot on his kidney. How sick are these guys that they will fake an illness? I know the answer to that (to get sympathy and attention) but it's just disgusting, the lies they tell!
Mine said a "mini cat scan" (no, there is no such thing) showed something abnormal in his brain.
LOL got that right! :) I'm just now seeing the huge irony of the fake illness he chose!
Spot on his what? What a gross thing to lie about!
wholeagain . . . "Mini cat scan?" What a freak. Mine told me he had bladder cancer. It would have been easy to say "lung cancer" because he chain smokes Marlboro reds, but I think he said "Bladder cancer" because that can come from smoking too and he wasn't going to pretend he had something I told him he would get! Wouldn't give me the satisfaction LOL!
Happy1
Helldweller
And just a couple weeks ago....
chickie3040
chickie3040
New friends for your son
I know you are right. I
happy1
I agree used, I have great
Happy1
helldweller
Fake illnesses
Heh
Warrior and wholeagain