'Little' N stuff you might identify with

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#1 Jul 24 - 9AM
MelloMix
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'Little' N stuff you might identify with

‘Losing’ keys etc – then blaming everyone for hiding them.

Walking in town looking out for acquaintances – then spending 15 minutes talking inane rubbish just to prove what an interested and great guy he is.

Writing in capitals and bad spelling.
Not being interested in any books/films/poetry etc that deal with human emotion.
Doing favours and making grand gestures to neighbours/complete strangers just to show how fantastic he is (but the shelves YOU wanted putting up remain on the floor!)
Punishing you by moods/sulks the day after you (thought) you made passionate love with him.
N insisting on sitting in a restaurant/pub etc sitting outward – i.e. so that he can watch everyone there (except you).
Making eye contact with any woman he can and giving her the ‘GAZE’ because then they will fall instantly in love with him.
Going to one of YOUR family functions knowing he will find a reason to go home early – or sulk in the corner – or refuse to go at all – or be strangely working that day. All because HE will not be CENTRE of attention.
Going to one of HIS family functions knowing you might as well not be there because he is too busy being CENTRE of attention, ignoring you.
Recruiting little kids whilst pretending to be the Pied Piper – then dropping them when they lose interest or quit worshipping and adoring him.
Saying he never dreams.
Saying, ‘If you ever left me, there’s no where you could go or nothing you could do that I wouldn’t know about.’
Saying, ‘People confide in me.’
Setting the minor household rules.
Always doing the driving – if you do for any reason he’ll pick fault causing you to be nervous and then make mistakes you would never normally do.
When you tell him he doesn’t show you any affection he retorts, ‘It takes two!’
Then when you just want a cuddle he grabs you boobs/bum. If you complain he says, ‘You moan when I don’t show affection, you moan when I do.’ WTF!!!
When you tell him something you don’t like he does it all the more i.e. pinching nipples hard.
Telling you you’re the only woman who can ‘do it’ for him….hahahaha.
Flirting outrageously on the phone – then accusing YOU of it when you complain.
Flirting with your sisters/ best friends / their sisters and best friends/ anything in a skirt or anything in anything!
Washing his ‘John Thomas’ before bed but not cleaning his teeth – because he wants sex not love-making!
When called on that saying, ‘That gets washed whether we do anything or not’. WTF!!!
Cursing every other driver on the road – yet happy to cut them up/ pull out on them/ brake hard etc – because its his divine right.
I’m sure I could add lots more – but that’ll do for now.
Please feel free to add!

Mello

Jul 27 - 2PM
Aliveagain
Aliveagain's picture

My favourite...and this is

My favourite...and this is NO BS. After meeting him an hour: "I'm really into woman's rights issues. Woman are equals and deserve to be respected as much, I'm very involved in causes such as these" Oh actually, this one comes first 20 minutes after meeting "That organisation is such an Anglo-Saxen old boys network"...I order a drink from an Indian bar tender... "What kind of fkng accent does that guy have, what a fkn loser" W T F? And I thought that while he was posturing about it a MERE HOUR after meeting and without any kind of discussion of that topic EVER being raised. MENTAL CASE
Jul 27 - 1AM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Sounds familiar

"Writing in capitals and bad spelling"-In my ex-Psychopath professor's case,it would be repetitive writing, the inability to form original/complex ideas. He always asked me for spelling help. He was always content to underline on my papers, but NOT comment in-depth. "Not being interested in books/films that are about human emotion"-My ex-P liked "The Terminator",The Simpsons...he seemed to like gruesome stuff. He was into theoretical philosophical texts. Apparently he's into "War and Peace" now because it's a big epic... and human emotions aren't really important. Oh, and the spiritual hero of the piece is Prince Andrei, who embodies narcissistic qualities. "Saying he never dreams"-Ditto. "Recruiting little kids"-Well, he IS a teacher. What better way to recruit kids?
Jul 26 - 5AM
MelloMix
MelloMix's picture

And more...

SPONGEBOB was a serial funeral goer. Because we are in the passenger transport business, he delights in offering any vague acquaintance a free service to and from crem/churchyard. MAJOR supply - imagine all those eternally grateful grievers soaking him with praise for his generosity and compassion in their hour of need - any how many more people they will tell. Sickening.
Jul 25 - 9PM
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

ditto, ditto, and ditto

ditto, ditto, and ditto except the part about losing things and blaming me for it. He probably did but didn't say it out loud. All the rest, right on. We all said they went to the same school it's just amazing to find out how true that is.

almostlydia

Jul 25 - 7PM
awayfromhim
awayfromhim's picture

There was too much for me to

There was too much for me to digest in this post but this caught my eye: "Doing favours and making grand gestures to neighbours/complete strangers just to show how fantastic he is (but the shelves YOU wanted putting up remain on the floor!)" Yep. This is an N thing. The N would not get as much admiration for doing something for the family as much as they would for a neighbor, co-worker, etc. Where's the glory in putting up a shelf that nobody would see? The one I was with actually dug out and then jumped into a septic tank leach field once with a neighbor to help him out. I was like "holy shit." Literally. :-)
Jul 26 - 8AM (Reply to #22)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Favors for Anyone else

Ugh. After refusing to let my daughters and I move into "our" new house (five bedrooms, three bathrooms, three storeys), I asked if we could move into his old apartment next door (he and his brother own the building and his brother remains there), since the kitchen is bigger and the bedroomsm a little bigger and nicer. "Oh, no," he said. I said, "Please, honey, we just need a little more room. The girls are too big to share a bed in a little room anymore." "No, no, no." When He finally moved into the new house, two days later his babysitter moved into his old apartment (he didn't tell me and I ended up in the hospital with a doubled blood pressure when I saw her moving in). I screamed and cried and wept, "Why? Why?" to the narc. He said, "Honey, she sold her house and had nowhere to go. What was I supposed to do?"
Jul 27 - 4PM (Reply to #23)
MelloMix
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What a nasty creep...

Helldweller - It's just unreal what these cretins will do. Why on earth do the authorities let him have a child??? Oh, I can answer that myself - because he's hood-winked them good and proper - Mr Wonderful Perfect. Why don't they they teach kids at school about these creeps - it's certainly would do them more good than what happened in 1506!
Jul 25 - 8PM (Reply to #20)
M
M's picture

Favors for others..

An employee of the now xN came into town the weekend of my birthday to see a show. I wanted to got to a restaurant at 7:30pm. But no! We had to meet the friend for drinks at 7:00 before the show, then squeeze in dinner before meeting the employee after the show to tae him to his "club". How accomodating & thoughtful. Oh, and my gift was that dinner....after 7years of marriage.
Jul 27 - 4PM (Reply to #21)
MelloMix
MelloMix's picture

Typical behaviour

Hi M That's typical isn't it. Push you to the back when there's nice juicy supply to be had elsewhere. It meant more to him to cow-tow to his 'friend' than please you on your birthday. The sad thing is - if you complained to a friend etc that you were unhappy about this - chances are they would think you were making a mountain out of a molehill! WE know better. It's all these constant 'little things' that add up to a life of misery. Mello
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #19)
MelloMix
MelloMix's picture

Hahahaha

'jumped into a septic tank leach field ' Still laughing! Pity he didn't stay there!
Jul 25 - 1PM
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Key phrases like

"Manipulation is seen as negative, but it really isn't bad. People WANT to be manipulated." Mine wasn't a nipple pincher, but he did like to scan photos of me and use Photoshop to make my boobs bigger. Audacious lies about his credit card statement! If it hadn't been so traumatic it would have been funny.
Jul 25 - 1PM
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

How about withholding sex

How about withholding sex and affection for the ENTIRE weekend, and when you finally have to leave and can't stay another minute, he starts making out with you when you're holding your bags about to walk out the door. When you ask him why he didn't touch you all weekend until now, he gets mad and barks, "I was trying to show you affection!" You drive home sobbing out of frustration. Two words...Mind F*#k! (this was not the nipple pincher)
Jul 25 - 1PM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

This post

everyones post here has made me crack up because they r so unbelievable..and we put up w/it..but Iv read it seeing it in ,y minds eye and have LMAO..its like WTF is wroong w/them..still laughing!!! xoxoxooxox

smileyfacepr

Jul 25 - 1PM (Reply to #15)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

I know what you mean,

I know what you mean, everything we read here is so outlandish, and if we weren't in the same boat we'd all be saying "no way" like our friends do. But we all know this is not made up or embellished or exaggerated at all. We get it. That's what's so great about this board!
Jul 24 - 10PM
naivenomore
naivenomore's picture

Let's unit against these nipple-pinchers! LOL!

Who'd have thought that this would be a trait, but then again it's all about causing someone else pain in so many other ways, so I guess this fits! I experienced this exact thing, too LOL! Mine even took it a step further and invested in decorative nipple rings (the unpierced ones) to match the cock rings he'd crafted himself - I think I should have bought him a dress-up doll! More 'little' narc stuff: - putting back 13 oz of Scotch each night so he could sleep off the demons from his first marriage? - punishing you with long silence if you interrupt him (translate: when he's going on one of his monologues and you say: "Oh, yeah, I know what you mean.") - twisting quotes from the Bible to read that the woman must be ready whenever the man wants attention (sex) - projecting his co-dependent kid's mistakes onto you - creepy eye stares I'm sure there'll be more - Great topic!
Jul 24 - 12PM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

LMAO

u reminded me of so many things..I had to laugh with the no dreaming and a few others..THANK U!! xoxo

smileyfacepr

Jul 24 - 11AM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

MelloMix

Wow, this is very profound and powerful. Thanks for sharing!
Jul 24 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Big time

Definitely.... "Flirting with your sisters/ best friends / their sisters and best friends/ anything in a skirt or anything in anything!"
Jul 24 - 10AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

N stuff

Sigh. Never imagined I'd be part of a support group where having our nipples pinched harder after complaining about it was a common trait of most of the members. So bizarre.
Jul 24 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
MelloMix
MelloMix's picture

Hi Helldweller

Nipple piNcher Victim Support Club - eNrol here!
Jul 25 - 12AM (Reply to #8)
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

sign me up!

My exN#1 was very bad this way. It was confusing because all of the painful physical abuse was always done in a "playful" way. But many times I would end up crying from the pain and having to claw my way out, as most of the time I'd be pinned down. He would squeeze my lips very very hard and I would tell him how badly it hurt and to please never do it again. I did it back to him once and he got SO angry and I thought he was going to hit me. Soooo hypocritical! He once "playfully" punched me in the gut and "playfully" punched my breasts. He would pin me down and bite me, come up and pinch me way past the point of pain and he knew it. But it was "just playing." He'd say, "It doesn't hurt. You're too sensitive." I can't believe I stuck around!!! I condoned it.
Jul 25 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
MelloMix
MelloMix's picture

Hi Girl Friday

Yes - the 'play' fighting! Yuk! Also, when 'passionatly' kissing - mainly in the early days because he couldn't be bothered much after that - he would grind his teeth against mine, almost as if he was going to consume me. Double Yuk!! Also, I remember once being examined by a doctor for breast lumps. He was so gentle. Certainly nothing sexual about it but I just didn't believe a man could be so gentle. Weird. Just goes to show what we slowly get used to and accept as normal. Mello
Jul 25 - 12AM (Reply to #7)
girlfriday
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double post

double post
Jul 24 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
broken23
broken23's picture

lol losing keys and blaming

lol losing keys and blaming others ditto...losing everything and then yelling at me until i found it.
Jul 25 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
M
M's picture

blaming

Mine went into hysterics because he couldn't find this flannel jacket. Accused me of throwing it out. He had mee looking in closets & boxes...til I found it in the COAT closet under his leather coat. He grumbled & left. My mom witnessed this. She still finds it odd.
Jul 24 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Mine locked his keys in his car

He locked his keys in his car with it running, and was mad at me when I got there with his spare key because I took too long after he told me to leave a party, pick up his son at another party and go to his house to get the spare key. I wasn't the dumbass that locked my keys in the car, but somehow it was my fault. But if he lost something he would get mad at me if I started trying to help by asking questions to retrace his steps. That's what usually works for me. Finally I figured out that I should just sit down, shut up and let him figure it out on his own. He'd get mad at me about that too, but at least I wasn't putting forth any effort. I really miss all that fun. NOT!
Jul 24 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
broken23
broken23's picture

so much fun similarly lost

so much fun similarly lost his blackberry. kept telling him in his bag in his bag...he looked in his bag didnt see it and yelled at me. i looked harder and found it...and then it wasnt oh sorry. it was now im late. yeahhhh so much fun!