a helpful trick to center oneself...

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#1 Jul 21 - 8AM
BlueMoon
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a helpful trick to center oneself...

For years, maybe my entire life, I have felt like I was watching myself and my life as if in a movie...from a third person perspective...never really engaged emotionally about my own narrative...always worrying about others...

On the disassociative spectrum, I believe...

I now make a conscious effort to move the camera to my first person POV, if that makes any sense. It keeps me grounded, in touch with my needs, MUCH less concerned about what others think about me, and WAY more aware of the present...

This can definitely help when concerned about an ex and his thoughts, actions and responses.

Jul 21 - 9PM
NancyM
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Books

A couple of excellent books that helped me a lot were Eckhart Tolle The Power of now A new Earth These books are all about living in the moment and bringing back your mindfulness to yourself. Also love anything by Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay.

Nevergoback

Jul 22 - 10AM (Reply to #10)
Lisa E. Scott
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The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

This book changed my life and my way of thinking! It will be a required reading to finish Step 8 - "Live in the Now" if one chooses to work the steps we implement at our kick-off meeting on 8/27th in Chicago.
Jul 22 - 10AM (Reply to #11)
betty2020
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Eckhart Tolle rocks....A

Eckhart Tolle rocks....A must must must read only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 21 - 11AM
naivenomore
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Thanks!

Thanks a lot for your indepth information, Bluemoon! I am going to check out courses in the area right now. I'm a school teacher, too, so there's bound to be some positive spin-offs with this new avenue in that regard, too ;-) Once again, many thanks! I'll keep you posted on my progress ;-)
Jul 21 - 11AM (Reply to #8)
BlueMoon
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absolutely!

I can't wait to hear about you experience with this! Enjoy! Namaste, as they say in class!
Jul 21 - 9AM
naivenomore
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Yoga

I've been pondering yoga for some time now, but haven't made the plunge yet. If it helps with the obsessive thoughts, that'd be worth the work for sure and I'll take steps to sign on to a course they're offering here in the Fall. As someone who's obviously learned a lot from it, Bluemoon, could you maybe share something on the topic as to how it works? Does it only re-focus the obsessive thoughts while you're doing it or is there a long-term, post effect, too? Thanks!
Jul 21 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
BlueMoon
BlueMoon's picture

Yoga, yes!

OMG, chickadee, yoga is SO cool! It not only teaches one to be in the present on the mat, but off it as well... The purpose of yoga, the literal meaning, is integration of body and mind. Yoga teachers regularly incorporate the coolest philosophy into their classes...all of it centered around living a peaceful life in this body we are in. Yoga is an ancient science- a 5000 year old practice that incorporates different philosophies...physical peace (in many different forms of yoga), spiritual peace, non-harm, etc. And the endorphin rush from the physicality of yoga, encompassed with the meditation and the still mind during practice is what allows for true long lasting introspection and understanding. For a great read, I suggest the book Jivamukti Yoga by Sharon Gannon and David Life. They give a really grass-roots explanation of the entire history, practice and philosophy. Don't be intimidated by the pictures of them twisting themselves into a pretzel, haha! Yoga is for all body types, weights, levels and can be for anyone in any physical condition- it has even been shown that yoga used for the elderly not only prolongs life but greatly enhances quality. I have been practicing for over a year, and sometimes I go to advanced classes and sometimes I go to beginner classes, and I always get something out of each one. My body has changed, and my mind as well. I am flexible, pain-free..and whenever I get anxiety (although made MUCH better by Cymbalta), I can ponder some yogic philosophy and it helps... and I have met great, kind, genuinely sweet people- there is always a yoga community/school somewhere...if you have any questions about class levels, let me know. I used to weight train and run, which for me was not the same!
Jul 21 - 10AM (Reply to #6)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Yes!

Yoga is a great way to get centered and live in the now. Minfulness is key. Great suggestions! Has anyone read this book: When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron I just started reading it and its phenomenol. It will be on our required reading list when our support groups start next month.
Jul 21 - 9AM
seeingthelight
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A great way to be Bluemoon.

A great way to be Bluemoon. Recently my friend commented that the way I was talking about what had been happening to me was like I was describing someone else's life rather than my own. This has got me thinking......thanks :-)
Jul 21 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
BlueMoon
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My pleasure!

Yes, it is pretty cool, this little mental trick...I literally move my perspective to through my eyes, concentrating about what is happening in front of me. It is actually an extension of yoga for me...being in the moment helps to clarify and block out the noise... It sounds as if now that you recognize the pattern, shifting your literal perspective may indeed make you the director of your own film, rather than an actor in a plot not of your design!
Jul 21 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
seeingthelight
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You have a great way of

You have a great way of explaining it! Its something my therapist is always trying to get me to do, he calls it mindfulness and he encourages me to stop, sit down, close my eyes and think about how I'm feeling in the moment rather than constantly worrying about others or what might happen. I used to burst into tears everytime I did it because it was like letting go. Haven't really been that proactive with it lately but I think I should pick it up again! Thanks for the re-awakening :-)