Great advice from a new male member of our forum

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#1 June 28, 2010 - 1:31am
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Great advice from a new male member of our forum

Welcome to "I'm a Bloke." I thought I would hightlight some comments from his story that I think are incredibly helpful. Glad you're here to provide your insight and hope you find healing here. :)

Here's some of his great advice:

The N has given you a gift, by stripping you away - you now have a chance to rebuild yourself into a better person. Seize that chance because believe me you can change yourself for the better. I know I have. You will feel better in time. Believe that you can be happy again. You don't need ANYONE to validate who you are. Believe in positive karma. Believe in yourself. I know I am a good person. I am valued, loved and understood by those around me.

Feels entitled to do whatever they like.
Uncaring. (May show that they care but if it has no benefit to them they don't care).
Fears abandonment.
Cannot stand on their own 2 feet.
Feels superior, above everyone else including you.
Idealization. Always looking for the perfect lover or scenario.
You - the NS - will always be 2-3 steps behind. And be thankful that you are acknowledged - even just for now. Nice, nice person.
Lacks empathy.
Feels little or no remorse.
Not in touch with themselves.
No sense of identity.
Can't take criticism well.
Never wrong.
Avoids confrontation.
Seeks absolution in the abused partner.
Economical with the truth.
Lying and will distort the truth so they look good and they believe it to be the truth. You challenge the lies at your peril.
Works to there own secret agenda.
They only feel fear and rage
Fear of intimacy.
She had a particular fear of snakes... hmm perhaps she's seeing something of herself.
Will only do something that benefits themselves.

What they are looking for doesn't exist.
Therefore YOU no longer exist.
As we know they need to look inside themselves which they will never do.