The worst thing he said to you

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June 22, 2010 - 6:09pm
rainbow1's picture

Thanks for this Scoop it is really helping!

I just remembered something else horrible he said to me: He loves his street bike but he is not safe on it at all! He would tell me how he needs to get rid of it because he will kill himself on it one day. He would get me so worked up about him being on it and then take off for hours. One time he was two hours late getting home and I obviously cant get a hold of him when he is on the bike. When he came home I said that I had been worried about him and all he said is: "You are fu**ing pathetic!" Wasnt he such a good guy?! Grrrrr

"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

June 22, 2010 - 5:03pm
GhostBuster's picture

Different N I was involved with said...

After a year and a half together: "You should be happy I correspond with other women on dating sites. It only makes you look good by comparison." When asked what he'd do if he won the lottery: "I'd trade up to a better looking blonde with big boobs!" When he couldn't orgasm anymore during sex with me: "It just means I'm not in love with you yet." (after months of telling me he loves me, how special I am, he's never had such a great relationship before, yada yada.) After I finally called him on his shit: "No one's ever called me on my behavior before. They didn't want to risk losing me."
June 22, 2010 - 5:00pm
Susan32's picture

Worst things

At the beginning- "Toughen up" (during a class discussion, right after my grandfather died) "You're such a narcissist" (during class) "You made yourself look bad" (after he had spread nasty gossip about me) "You're scaring me" (whenever I showed emotion) "Can you read that again, without emotion?"(he had me do that A LOT in class) "You want to victimize me" "Don't talk about me behind my back" During the D&D- "Did you learn your lesson?" (he said this A LOT) "You're violating me" "You put me in an awkward position"(after I had met the OW, and congratulated him on his engagement) "I was never your friend" "Don't bring me down to your level" "I'm offended/embarrassed/disappointed" (after I had declared my love) "You embarrassed yourself" (after he had reduced me to tears in front of my friends) "I know you're struggling" "I'm sorry you feel that way" (after the repeated insults, the smear campaign) Yeah, I'm lucky I NEVER dated my ex-P, nor did I marry and have kids with him.
June 22, 2010 - 4:56pm
Steph's picture

Great thread!

First narc: "you are always against me".....after I beat him at a game of cards lol....and he backhanded me for winning. "you might be a princess to your family, but u aren't to me"....followed by a bop in the face and a bloody nose. Second narc: "you are f@#cking nuts!" "you're stupid!" "no woman has made me feel violent before" "I have to protect myself. If I were to ever get violent with you, I could lose my law licence" "you're just like my mother" What prizes!
June 22, 2010 - 4:50pm
sarahb's picture

forgot the worst one b/c it became the best one

A month before the wedding: "I am not ecstatic to marry you." Didn't think of that one a "bad" comment because boy did that one end up saving my life!
June 22, 2010 - 4:42pm
rainbow1's picture

After the first d&d we broke

After the first d&d we broke up. He slept around with about 3 or 4 girls in those two weeks. When we got back together and I was having a hard time with it expecially because I knew one of them and she is NASTY he told me "Hey I wore a condom! You shouldnt be grossed out". Then when I was trying to explain to him how hurt I was and how it would be hard for me to move past this he said "You will get over it. But it is nothing that I can help you with. I did nothing wrong here. This is a YOU problem. Not mine"

"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

June 25, 2010 - 10:41pm (Reply to #19)
Goldie's picture

more lies

He told me he had never been engaged before and that he had only been with this particular girl for 2 months. Come to find out they were engaged and together for over 2 years. I was hurt and furious that his version was soooooooo vast from the truth. I found it very disturbing. His response was: I don't know what to tell you. You're just going to have to get over it and there is nothing I can do to help you. Sound familar. Are these all the same guy?
June 22, 2010 - 4:29pm
sarahb's picture

what charmers they are

some of mine - said in a caring tone like he was just looking out for me - what a guy "Your timidity repels me" "I worry about marrying you because of how you dysfunctionally relate to the world" "Well, but you are on the full side of thin" (when I said i am not fat at a size 4!) "I like you better when you wake up in the morning" (good God, seriously? my sleeping makes you not like me? A friend got this gem from her own jackass - "My attraction level for you fluctuates."
June 22, 2010 - 4:29pm
sarah787's picture

Lets see-

"You are ruining my f'ing life." (While I was standing at my cousins wake mind you) "You're crazy. You'll never find another boyfriend." "You are ugly" "Take off those glasses." "You have serious emotional issues. You need help...hardcore." "The problem isn't your work ethic or drive in life it's you inability to handle your emotions."
June 22, 2010 - 4:22pm
GhostBuster's picture

Sick freak

When we were in the final weeks of our "relationship" (about to get married), I was falling apart from the PTSD, adrenal fatigue, ignoring my gut...well, you all know how it gets when the masks slips. I was literally convulsing one day from the shock of seeing him without the mask and for who he really is...a terrorist...and he looks at me calmly (like a cat toying with a mouse just before pouncing) and says suggestively "have you ever thought about committing suicide?" Dream boat, he was.
June 22, 2010 - 1:48pm
almostlydia's picture

interesting that you started

interesting that you started this topic because while i was out walking the dog last night i was thinking about all the desperate messages i had read earlier in the day. I am lucky to finally be past ever wanting mine back but i remember the awful pain of his absence and the terrible longing to have him back despite knowing it would be the worst thing, as it always proved to be. Sandra Brown explains it as cognitive dissonance - our brains keep the good stuff available while filing the horrific stuff far out of reach. A protective mechanism, i suppose that works against us in this circumstance. Anyway, i wondered if we all made a point to remember the worst thing they ever did, in every crummy detail so that we could always access it immediately as an absolute reminder of where we are, why we are here, and why we don't want any part of that story again. What do you think? I'm trying to narrow my down to just one incident out of so so many.


June 22, 2010 - 2:40pm (Reply to #13)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

He said....

"I can relax on the weekends when you have your period because there's no pressure to have sex with you." "I'm glad we're getting a divorce. I never did see the point of having sex with the same person more than once. I mean, once you've slept with someone, what's the point of being with them again? Been there, done that."
June 22, 2010 - 7:11pm (Reply to #14)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


I'm glad we're getting a divorce. I never did see the point of having sex with the same person more than once. I mean, once you've slept with someone, what's the point of being with them again? Been there, done that." In other words, marriage will never mean anything to him, sex does not have anything to do with love. Once you have seen their body parts, move on to the next.
June 22, 2010 - 1:45pm
Happy1's picture

so many things

I don't love you; I don't like you; I wouldn't introduce some blonde bimbo to my parents; I don't miss you; I think you're a child. You're my 2nd child; You need to be taught a lesson; I punish you to teach you like I do my son. You're a child; I don't have pics of you and your son anywhere because you're not my family; You're not hot... gosh, I'm sure I have more and will write more as I think of them. Such loving words. NOT!
June 22, 2010 - 1:11pm
rainbow1's picture

the worst thing that he said to me

Right after he broke up with me and he told me that we will probably get back together someday he randomly text me "Rainbow stop fu**ing bitching to everyone! No one wants to hear you or hear you talk. We will never be back together! Grow the f*** up and get over me! Move on! You are pathetic! Get my name out of your vocabulary" All I remember thinking was that I havent been talking about him to anyone but my mom and best friend and how could you say this to someone that you supposedly "loved" for so long. A normal person would say something like "Look Rainbow I am sorry that it didnt work out. This is just how I feel. Its better that you move on with your life". After I got that text I left work and didnt go back. I was devastated especially because the day before he said we will be back together soon!

"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

June 22, 2010 - 1:16pm
AnotherPath's picture

Actually the worst one that

Actually the worst one that I will never forget was the last thing he said in the house. He'd punched me so hard in the face I'd been knocked out for a short while, to come round to him punching into my head saying "I hate you I'm going to kill you" YUK don't even like thinking about it.

Ending the dance

June 22, 2010 - 4:53pm (Reply to #2)
Empathy's picture

My ex narc hole said:

" you just have to have sex with these people and not form attachments - and stop being so emotional" ( used when he wanted group sex) " Oh what you've got your period AGAIN!!?? geeesssh great". When I used to ask him to communicate he would say: "i can't talk to you.. it's like walking on eggshells all the time with you!" "why can't you just let me be king for a day?" 'if I lived in a different geopgraphical location you would have not been my choice of partner" " You've changed.. your not the person I married" " You never suck my cock anymore - you seem to enjoy sex with others more. I ALLOW you to have sex with others then this is how you repay me?" and i could go on and on ...
June 23, 2010 - 1:26am (Reply to #3)
Janet's picture

The worst? after my best

The worst? after my best friend and dearest love Oberon or "Obu" my beautiful Black Labrador died, a few day later as I was crying "waaa waaa, my doggy died. Get over it." Peace. J

Peace. J

June 23, 2010 - 3:22am (Reply to #4)
ACgirl's picture

So many classic Narc speak....

I have a similar story about my wonderful dog who was 14 years old when he died. That same night a friend of my Narcs called me and told me about something my Narc was doing, but didnt realize I didn't know. It was a big lie my Narc told me. When I called the Narc crying about how sad I felt about my dog and that he would lie to me, my Narc called me 5 days later and said "You wacko, why did you talk to my friends and stalk me" (which I didnt, they called me). Then he continued and said.."I don't care anymore, you were never there for me, I am going to make you talk to me, you can't ignore me, and I am thinking about starting up a relationship with some OW". Talk about double messaging and Narc speak!! My Narc lied so much and doubled messaged. OMG, did he ever. But here are some classic lines... One night we were holding hands and kissing in a restaurant. He was being very romantic. Then two days later he said he was involved with someone else. When I asked him why did he kiss me and be so sweet, he said..."I started it". Oh, there are so many classic moments......
June 23, 2010 - 4:46pm (Reply to #5)
Empathy's picture

one i forgot.....

just BEFORE i left him he said: "YOU can't leave me... I'll take the kids and you will never see them again........And NO court in the land would award YOU custody as you suffer from depression" lol... what a threat.. geesh it's such as shame that it didn;t happen that way narc hole !!!!!
June 24, 2010 - 2:27pm (Reply to #6)
PumpKyn80's picture

Its all about him

I was accepted into a Masters Program, and when I told him he says "do you have to go to school? people I have dated who went to school did not have time for me" Its amazing how they came turn your good news (or even bad news for that matter) and make it all about them.
June 24, 2010 - 6:45pm (Reply to #7)
macmad's picture

worst thing he said.

Where shall I start? All the usual. You re crazy, unstable, nuts, unsuitable parent, used goods, parasite,hypocrit,out to get him, unable to understand that sex has nothing to do with love and that one woman is pretty much the same as the next. That there must be something wrong when a woman is attractive but not already re married or in a relationship. That love is not important, money is. He would rather live with a pig( his discription of his wife) than give up anything he has to live with the woman he so says loves. Towards the end tho I found I could not bring myself to have sex with him after he got up from bed one day saying well thats ok then ive emptied my balls now im off home. He tried later to fob it off as a joke but I think somehow it stood out as an absolute truth, he had let the mask slip. Things were never the same after that.
June 25, 2010 - 10:48pm (Reply to #8)
Goldie's picture


I am so sorry he said that to you. What a self serving freak. That pisses me off. You do not deserve to EVER be spoken to that way by anyone. You are woman of dignity and grace and that is just pure bullcrap. God Bless, Goldie
June 29, 2010 - 8:23am (Reply to #9)
macmad's picture

\Thanks Goldie

Your words are very true. No woman should ever be talked to in that way. As I said it was so offensive to me that I could not be intimate with him again without this remark replaying in my head. He said that it was a joke and I should forget it but it never went away. I constantly brought it back up until he eventually got the message. When I said I did not want to be intimate with him he came out with "Well what have we got left then?" I had him then. I said " We still have this undying love that the talk of all the time the one that is so important to you, the one that you would do anything for exept what you really should do and that is treat it and me with respect. At the end of the day when I told him I would not take any more abuse and the only way I could do this was not to see him any more. He went away. So much for undying love and everything else he ever said. He proved himself a liar and made himself look a fool in the process. Ultimately they cannot hide what they are. Outsiders who observe how they act tend to find them figures of fun. It is only now we are apart people tell me how he has been laughed at and noone believes a word he says. We both live in his home town. I did not know his history being a recent resident but more and more people are only to happy to fill me in. Whatever his activies now he seems to be taking them out of town. Wonder if he has got the message too. :)