angelsiren story

I met my N last New Years Eve, what a great start to year I thought ! I could not have made this guy up, he ticked everything on my wish list, physically, culturally (we are both living abroad, but from the same country) and have similar back grounds.
But i was wary from the start, I knew something was 'off'but couldn't put my finger on it. I became consumed by him, I was seeing him at weekends, he said he was 'working' during the week, finally realised that that was a euphomism for seeing someone else. But the weekends were the most fun I have ever had in my life, but i was always left wanting, needing my next fix more because there was never any promise that the next weekend would happen. i was always waiting for the call from him to be told 'yes, let's get together this weekend''. Then i could relax and get excited about the weekend. It was always at his flat. The scene was always set when I got there, we always planned a playlist of music during the week to be played that weekend, adding to it every week. The music would be timed for me to make my entrance, the special cocktail (named after me )would be mixed and ready, lights, candles, films we had planned to watch etc. I was thouroughly seduced. Best ever sex etc.compliments that "he had finally found his soulmate, his other half, never been so connected with anyone etc"
But STILL I knew in my gut something was not right. I talked to friends about it, they couldn't understand my concerns, they said it sounded like he was smitten, however it came up in conversation with a client of my mine.
She said immediately, "Run!!! youv'e got yourself a N'" she had been in a relationship with one and was still in therapy 4 years later. She advised me what books to read, websites to go to etc... what a revelation, jaw dropping to read things that he said verbatim.
But I was still addicted surely i was different, and it would be different with me, he was so genuine.
But then a gift from the gods, he in a drunken state told me his password to his FB. What a fool. throwing integrity to wind and considered that my metal and emotional health meant more. I went onto his account. What a shocking revelation, 4 other women on the go at the same time, 3 of them conveniently out of the country. He would write to them , mostly on the same day, sexual, flirty e.mails, the script always the same, their responses all exactly the same (as mine had been, i'm ashamed to say, ) all promises of holidays/vists together in the future. All proffessing that they were only one's and life was torture and agony without them. One poor girl got her meager savings together and bought a ticket to come out here, upon learning this she was dropped like a hot potato. No more e.mails to her, she was in a confused panic, thinking something had happened to him.
Ashamed to say that i kept on seeing him, fooling myself that as knowledge is power, i could just enjoy my weekends with him knowing what was going on behind the scenes. However he must have picked up on my change in attitude toward him,I tried to break from him, he broke down in tears, saying he had kept his real feelings hidden from me as he didn't want to get hurt by me, this happened twice, each time i got sucked back in, Also the ' what about the clothes you left at my house' line sucked me in everytime. But now knowing that he was no longer up on a pedastal and being adored by me he began searching for his next prey. This I found out later, she lives in the same town, so the contact on FB was minimal, it was all done by phone.
Suddenly i was put on the back burner, she had now replaced me on the weekends. (she looks exactly like me, and again we both come from the same counrty)
At first was gutted, even though i knew what was coming(still vainly holding onto the belief that I would be different).
but then found this website, the narcspeak section was the tipping point. Even though I had seen those phrases on other websites, the italics explaining what he 'really' means was the real wake up call. I now really saw that he thinks we are stupid, gullible and will basically bend over for a compliment said in that sincere and genuine manner. He despises us and laughs at our gullibilty.
Following the story between him on and this poor girl on FB( he is out of the country at the moment, but not before lining up 3 girls to see when he gets there), I can see the whole arc of the story. She is already obsessed with him, after just spending two weekends with him. Where as I NEVER told him about my feelings for him, or the torment I went through when I hadn't heard from him. I always played it very cool, only ever returning his calls, but never calling him otherwise. I think that's why I lasted longer than the others. She is all ready telling him that she is obbsessed with him, the weeks he is away from her her agony, etc. He is taking full advantage of this off course, getting him to send naked photos of herself to him,etc...
So poor girl is heading for heartache. If i didn't know what i know by getting his FB account, I think I would have had a breakdown by now, not knowing why there was suddenly cold, distant behavour, then no contact etc. I hurts like hell that I really was interchangeable and so readily replaced. He still consumes my thoughts, but it has changed, I feel that I am coming through and regaining an interest in life again. So I got bloody lucky on many counts...knowledge really is power, thank god for this site. I read the narcspeak section constantly, and have stuck some off the quotes on my computer as a reminder of the sad, nasty bastard he really is, and most importantly that he holds as all in complete contempt.