I am new to this site. I have been dating my narcissist for 2 years now. My life has changed quite a bit over these past 2 years and not for the better. I have been so engrossed in him and everything about him. I didn't any red flags and had no clue what a narcissist was until about a year into this and I'm still in it.
My N was charming at first I must say and did say all the right things. I'm a person that loves to please others and wanted to please him from the beginning. We worked at the same company and I was head over heals in love with him.
About six months into our relationship, I stood up for myself in the work elevator about something insignificant and he broke up with me and said no one treats him this way. He broke up with me for 3 months and during that time had take another woman to Mexico, etc. During those months I begged for him back. I was horrible and I'm ashamed of myself. But since then he has broken up with me so many times I can't count. Each time he breaks up with me for a few weeks or a month or so at a time, he dates other woman and always sees this particular lady. I feel like that's cheating because we break up so darn often. I feel he has complete control over our relationship.
He tells me he doesn't love me and that I ruined any chance of love because of my jealousy. He's right! I do have jealousy because he gives other women attention that I crave! I crave his affection and attention and I get nothing!! i cannot explain a thing to him or he breaks up. He just sent a text over to me just now that he's not happy with us and I have gone all sweaty and can't stand it. He's breaking up with me AGAIN!!! I don't know what to do!!