Not looking forward to Monday! Some encouragement please!

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May 29 - 8PM
justwantpeace
justwantpeace's picture

Hang in there

the more time passes and the more you take care of yourself, the better it will be. I do good and then my ex tries to find a way to knock me back. He couldnt sign over the house to me but could send me the required certified letter he remarried and was moving. (has to because we have a minor child) just try to stay away from him and work on you by doing whatever it takes. its the only way to make it thru this. You need to get mad. Sit and think of all the mean things he has done to you. but just do that to help you. dont give him the satisfaction of any attention
May 29 - 7PM
NoNarcingZone
NoNarcingZone's picture

Somewhere over the Rainbow

"...it didnt bug him to see me so if I had the problem then I could leave" The N is a bug! EXTERMINATE! As difficult as it WILL be, I'd definitely be present for the Ns departure. No telling what he'll do in your absence. Taking inventory AFTER he's already gone can be devastating - once you realize a family heirloom (which has been in the same place since forever) is now broken or missing! N's are ruthless & have no boundaries, hence they should be treated as such. Not to be trusted. Enlist a few 'guy' friends to come over & "circle the wagons". In point, don't encounter that FREAK on your own. Don't indulge in conversation - even over 'common' material possessions - they're replaceable. Remove all emotions & MAN UP! Open the front door & escort MISERY out of your life. Then change the damn locks! Suerte! (Good luck) "Some day we'll wish upon a star and wake up where the NARCS are far behind us..."

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"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

May 29 - 7PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

The camping Pr*ck

Why aren't YOU camping with him? My n f*ck is on his boat with his brother and his foster child, while my little daughters are playing in the street. Two years ago we were all there, with the $200 picnics I made, before he decided he would rather die than be tied to a woman and her kids. Only problem is, he never told me; just strung me along and told me we would still get married. Lock the doors, baby! Let him camp outside when he gets home!
May 30 - 4PM (Reply to #12)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

helldweller

I am not with him camping because he has decided that he literally hates me now for no reason. He did a complete 180 one morning. It is crazy how fast he can love me to literally hating me. It has been 5 weeks since we broke up and still not one nice word has been said. It breaks my heart.

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

May 29 - 5PM
TNR1
TNR1's picture

Sending positive vibes!!

Hey Rainbow1, I know it must be just so challanging for you right now. Hang in there. We are all here for you.
May 29 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture

Keep the faith

I know this hurts like hell. And it will hurt for awhile. Warning you that this might be the worst emotional pain you will ever feel. But you will get through it. You will. You loved something that wasn't real. But you can love and that is a good thing. Anything he could offer you is a counterfeit. It's fantasy-land. And that can be fun until the mask comes off. You are then left with disrespect, torture,pain and a dream that will never come true. Is there someone(preferably a BIG GUY) who can be there with you when he moves? I don't think you should be there by yourself and you want to make sure he doesn't take or destroy your stuff. Much love to you rainbow1.
May 29 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

hitandrun

I was actually planning on not being here when he left. I know that it will hurt too much to watch him go. That being said... I am sure that he will take stuff that is mine. Before we even got together I bought a nice flat screen tv that we have in our bedroom. He has made it up in his head that it is his and that he bought it. He has told everyone how nice he is for letting me use it for the last month. I know that he will take stuff, but I dont think that it is worth the fight, but I also dont want him to think that he has won, what should I do?

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

May 29 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture

I can't tell you what to do...

I can only tell you what I would do. I would get 2 BIG GUYS to be with me and watch him like a hawk. And I probably would be vascillating between crying and cussing him out. I know it is only stuff, and I have left relationships and let my former(non-disordered personality)keep stuff just to shut him up and make it easier. But this is different. Perhaps someone with more experience will chime in? If it were me I would find 2 BIG GUYS, be there, and take a xanax on Monday : ) And if you have the receipt for the big screen TV pack it up and move it before he get's home and show it to him(with the 2 BIG GUYS around of course). Don't know if your exNarc-spath whatever he is is violent. So protect yourself whatever you choose to do.
May 29 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

he can be

He has never physically hit me but he has a temper on him! He can get mad at the drop of a hat and punch his truck, the wall, whatever. He also throws little temper tantrums and will say some of the meanest things that you could ever imagine. I think that if I am here it is going to be a very very bad day.

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jun 8 - 5PM (Reply to #9)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

I wouldn't advise leaving

I wouldn't advise leaving his stuff outside as he could accuse you of it being lost or damaged and he could sue you. That's what my lawyer told me. He sounds dangerous too, try to keep your emotions out of it as much as you can. Bag his stuff up in the hallway and have other people there if not the police. Don't listen to his narc rage, he's evil and talks shit, don't listen.

Ending the dance

Jun 8 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

is this still a game?

Yesterday one of his friends came over to my house looking for a tent that my X took from him. He was at my X's house right before he came over and my X told him that I had the tent and to just "head over" to my house! There was no tent there! And his friend said that my X had been doing nothing all day, but just "didnt feel like coming and getting his stuff". Why would he send his friend over to my house? Did he really think that I had the tent? Or is this another game?

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

May 29 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

rainbow1

get 2 MALE friends or relatives to be in your place WHEN HE COMES TO GET HIS STUFF. DO NOT LET HIM IN ALONE. Make it clear to them what is yours and what is his. In fact, I'd have all his crap waiting near the door for him. Do not allow him in without these males being there. At all. Doesn't take much for them to become physically violent. Don't kid yourself. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 30 - 5AM (Reply to #7)
Healingnow
Healingnow's picture

I reckon get all his stuff

I reckon get all his stuff out of your house then there is no confusion over what he takes as Barbara said. I would hide in the house and try not to set eyes on him. Or get someone else to be in the house to keep an eye out and you be out somewhere. Then you will have another day of no contact to build on.
May 30 - 6PM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

get him out

Pack his crap up now and put it outside change the locks call first thing tuesday and have his name taken off of everything have all his mail forwarded either to his job or his parents NO CONTACT ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller