that I would make him feel like he was sexually fucked up and that it was probably because I was more twisted than he could ever think of being and thats why I thought that he was. Spin it baby!
I forgot to mention he got hard over everything and fondled himself constantly. While we watched TV or went shopping he was always saying "I am so hard I want to do you so bad right now". Then when we got home "no, now I am too tired or I have a stomach/head/leg ache".
Mine was avoiding intimacy from the beginning. I'm pretty certain that he was somatic.
The first time we got intimate and started to "get down to business", he froze up and was having ED. The second time we got intimate, it was just like you said, very vanilla, missionary; almost like a teenager doing it for the first time. He just looked down below at himself doing the deed, no eye contact. I kept trying to look him in the eyes and he wouldn't allow it. I am certain that he was on Viagra.
We stayed in bed for two days straight and did it over and over and he ejaculated every time. It didn't take him that long either. It as definitely the strangest thing I had experienced.
When we would be together and were just hugging, he would be hard all the time. We had to weekends where we stayed in bed together and didn't sleep, just had sex. After that, he was suggesting that we go out and do things. I think that he was getting tired of having to "put out".
All very strange and convoluted!
We stayed in bed for two days straight and did it over and over and he ejaculated every time.
I know he was on viagra also, he could stop in the middle, go to the kitchen with a hard on get a drink of water, come back to bed and start again. I mean here he is 50 years old screwing like a 18 year old, NON STOP for like two days, too strange. Then a month later ED sets in, ewww must have forgot to take his pill. Strangest experience I have ever had too, and here I thought it was his undying love he had for me ha ha ha puke and gag.
Mine was a BIG talker before we had sex and then when it came down to doing the deed he could't get it up and the few times that he did he couldn't finish and somehow would find subtle ways to make it like it was me.But I do agree with the feeling like he was getting tired of putting out.I felt like I wanted it more ( don't know why).. he went out of his way not to get intimate( stopped kissing me). He ended up saying that his ex was more sexually open. # 1 I was not boring in bed - normal... but I was not going to do anything that was against my morals and # 2 how crazy did he want me to get if he couldn't even perform??????
how crazy did he want me to get if he couldn't even perform??????
Not crazy... brainwashed & bonded:
The bonding hormone oxytocin is one of the most powerful natural anti-anxiety chemicals there is! That is why sex is so relaxing. During sex, oxytocin is released and you feel not only happy and bonded with your mate, but afterwards, you are relaxed and anxiety-free.
Early in the relationship, the pathological isolates his woman from the rest of the world and her social network. Therefore, she has little emotional support from others that would normally serve to help her reduce or manage her anxiety effectively. Being with a pathological is anxiety-producing. The pathological has a fight with her raising her level of anxiety. She thinks about leaving or takes steps to leave the relationship and that triggers profound anxiety in her.
Without friends and family as support to help her manage her anxiety, she is in need of anxiety relief. She turns to the pathological himself—both the creator and reliever of stress. He gratefully relieves her anxiety through sex. She feels closer to him during sex, hormones are released, and afterwards she is indeed, momentarily less anxious. And with her hyper-hopefulness, she believes they will reconnect during sex and it will heal the current conflict.
The excitement seeking in her that found the pathological’s extraversion attractive is now hitting the wall and causing extreme emotional exhaustion. The adrenaline rush she used to have at his “edginess,†“risk-taking behavior,†or just his extraverted dominance is beginning to burn itself out. The drama, the highs and lows, the daily power struggles, the weekly uncovering of some new lie and the constant fear of being abandoned are all now producing fatigue.
A dichotomy exists between the excitement she still feels with him when the relationship is smooth (which is becoming less frequent) and the utter exhaustion that comes from being in a relationship with a pathological.
The pathological has a remarkable relationship thermometer and when he senses her distress at the relationship that may cause her to give up altogether, the pathological can turn it around by sparking the relationship fires again. For the short term, he may use all the excitement techniques that he knows she likes. The woman rides a roller coaster of adrenaline and fatigue that will last far beyond the time she spends with him.
The exhaustion can also come from not only the emotional roller coaster of life with a pathological but also from the pacing of their lives together. Since many pathologicals need much less sleep than normal people, lack of sleep is likely to catch up with her. The pathological consistently keeps her awake, demanding her company while he watches TV, picks fights, or wants marathon sex. Her diet, exercise, down-time, spiritual practices, and friendships all go by the wayside while her stress levels increase. The fast-paced lifestyle contributes to a total deterioration in her health. Her physical exhaustion can greatly increase her emotional fatigability.
She is now unable to hold her ground against the pathological, and despite the exhaustion, she remains hypnotized, fixated on his extraverted, often very sexual, highly exciting persona.
Sandra Brown, MA - WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS (this book addresses Ns and Ps together)
~~~~~~~~~
Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals
Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
mine was a cerebral too...and all his parts worked, it would just take AGES for him to climax. It wasnt so bad in the beginning because he hadn't put me into the "madonna" category" yet. but as our relationship progressed...he saw me as the "madonna" and sex dwindled big time. But he hid that by just stopping all of the sudden and would say..."thats enough for now...I want you to think about me all day, and no touching yourself...we'll finish tonight" but it would never happen.
if he would start a new job or have any type of stress...there would be no sex for months.
he was def. into porn-style sex, masturbatory type sex, light bondage type stuff...
ALL control/power stuff
He had a great imagination,great voice sex on Skype with him was just crazy making....i was in Europe he in Oklahoma,USA...the things he told me he wanted to do with and to me...Finally i got to go and be with him....2 times sex he couldn't keep it up,was on and off and no climax....i told him it was ok i was happy being there with him....second time we started kissing he almost ripped off my shirt and the rest said hurry,i don't want the same to happen like last night....5 minutes and he was done...he left me still on my belly and that was that,he never touched me again in 2 months after 2 years making me crave for him....But he would masturbate during the showers he took alone....And was always saying stuff about women and pussys and asses....and he told me he wasn't a bit interested in me anymore....after 2 days i arrived there to be with him....Withdraw affection and i got the silent tretment and crazy making ,confusing situations...is now a year and 4 moths and he blocked me on Skype and disapearead from the face of the Earth,sometimes i see his old internet Nickname showing up in sites in the Deep net that means probably sites with extrem kind of Porn...and very young people and he is a father of 3 children 2 saughters 16b and 18....is disgusting.....And when he was with me he didn't use or had a web cam,but now he does...I saw when i went back 6 months later because something had happenned and i was worrying about him....
like Barbara...I will never date again.
I never knew about this stuff and got lucky in discovering what HE REALLY IS
and it is just shocking to know how many sexually & distorted men are roaming around this country...
waiting, watching, and preying on innocent women..
plotting and laughing with sheer enjoyment at the destruction and pain they cause women who love them and adore them..
they think we are fools, easy targets..weak
I will be dedicated now in a lifelong quest to make women aware of these human imposters
I dont want to be a victim..I'm a survivor
I will not date again at all. I pick the wrong kinds of guys and I cannot go through this turmoil again. Thanks for all your posts. Barbara thanks also for what you do on here.
Hear Hear!!! I'm with you guys.....My father was a psychopath, my first husband a sociopath, my second a narc/psycho. I'm done with them.
I have come out alive, and for the most part sane.
......and I would get married
for what reason??????
I obviously can't pick them, and when I do they're duds.
I'm getting the feeling that's all that's left?
No need for them anymore.............
No desire for them anymore.
Besides, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!
Like gullablegull, I will never date again, never marry, don't need them, have no desire for them anymore. And I have only had one bad experience with a N/P, but it was more than enough for me, more than enough to turn me off and shut me down forever. I only had to look evil in the eye one time (one relationship) and that was more than enough for me. Besides, all this rage and anger that I carry inside me right now....should I happen to meet a truly genuine and decent man...it just wouldn't be fair to him with the way I am feeling inside of me. I just want to take care of ME, be with ME, heal ME, be good to ME for as long as it takes, and then some. I am alive. I question whether or not I am sane. And I agree with gullablegull...if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself! So true.
want to know what they really THINK about women & sex?
here's Psycho-Boy's exposure by one of his other gfs - has some of his hooker reviews on it
http://www.datingpsychos.com/view_psycho.html?psycho_id=44
that's mr. ethical, family man, moral, respectful, political blogger for you.
~~~~~~~~~
Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals
Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
mine told me
Hard
Mine was avoiding intimacy
very similar to mine
Mine too
tiredofthinking
mine was a cerebral
Tyger
mine too cerebral....
Aceonelady
like Barbara...I will never
like Barbara
Hear Hear!!! I'm with you
Add me to the list....no dating, never again
want to know what they really THINK about women & sex?
Ive read that before..what a