I've been dating my partner for nine years (found out just last week he's a N after researching online). We do not live together. After one of his mind twisting tests he gave me last Wednesday, I became angry and told him to stop testing me to which he responded he will test me whenever he feels like it for as long as he feels like it. I said well find somebody else to test, not me. He asked me if I was serious and I should "swear to God" I mean it and I said yes. He then said okay, have a nice life and he hung up.
I didn't hear from him until yesterday. He sent me a text message "hi, how r u? Happy? Having fun yet?"...I didn't respond. Then he started calling my cell phone, then my job, then he texted me again "r u ok?"..he left me a voice message, "hi babe, even if you do not want to speak to me, let me know you're okay"... He kept calling until I finally caved in and called him back... told him I was in a meeting (which I wasn't)... he said, sorry, I just wanted to make sure you're okay, I said I was fine and we hung up.
He called me again a while after to find out how many text messages I received from him and whether I received one @9am, I said no. He said okay, he wasn't sure if he sent a message he typed in anger. I said no, end of conversation.
I haven't spoken to him since then, but I have a feeling he's going to start harassing me. I'm afraid of him, I'm not sure how to handle him. He has physically abused me about four times during our relationship, the last time being in September. He punched and kicked me, however, when he kicked me, he fell back and somehow fractured his elbow. I suffered a gaping wound right on right eyebrow, blood came gushing out. I didn't go to the hospital.
I know I should have had stitches. I tried my best to conceal it from family and friends with an eyebrow pencil... I think they could tell I had a cut there, but they didn't ask. Anyway, of course, I was left to internalize my injury both physically and mentally...
no one to comfort me. He made up some story to his family about how he fractured his elbow (he fell when he was drunk) and they supported and helped him. All his friends joked about how it was me who broke his arm... he was loving all the attention he was getting... if only they knew what really happened I thought to myself... made me sick to my stomach.
There are so many things I'm realizing about his behaviour and can relate to him being a N. All the sexual perverted behaviours and favours I did to please him. Whenever I told him I didn't enjoy something sexually, he told me I was in denial and it's in me...he knows me better than I know myself...
I was emotionally traumatized when I met him having come out of a previous abusive relationship... I fell right back into the same thing... I'm just so sick and disgusted with myself... how, why did I put myself through this?
I just want to run and hide, but I have a daughter who needs me...