Jodie's story

I was with my N for 5 years total. I went through an emotional holocaust with him and am still on the road to recovery. Initially he was everything wonderful; charming, gorgeous, successful and seemed to be so interested in my well being, emotionally and my needs. HA!!!

Things started to change and in a big way. He always seemed to regain control of me though through his charm. He would say and do the most bizarre and bewildering things, leaving me to question my sanity and reality. He too lost total interest in intimacy (N's never have the interest to begin with) and sex with me. It was infuriating and humiliating; I brought it up so many times I felt like a stuck record. He loved his porn though. N's have the Madonna/Whore complex where they can't make love to someone they "love." Instead sex is a basic instinct/need for them like food and nothing more much. They have no desire in genuine intimacy; sex is "dirty" to them...that is what my N told me. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep. He was incredibly non empathetic.

When my best friend tragically died I was hysterically crying, he "consoled" me for 1 minute then walked away and called his friend to see if they were still going to the gym that afternoon. We were in therapy once and the therapist said to him, "I want you to only have eyes for your wife." My N got all indignant and said, "UH I know! So does SHE!!!" We both looked at each other baffled; there is no reasoning with them and they just don't GET IT!!! They don't "get" reality, normal human emotion, pain, nor do they care about the consequences of their actions...they seem to never learn. It's bizarre.

He would eat all of my food off my plate and then when I told him that was rude he would say, "I'm offended! That is how I eat!" He never wanted to spend time with me, always after his N supply like the gym, or tanning or driving in his toolbox Viper!! I started to LOATHE him!! But I was also addicted to him.

He would call me an idiot, hillbilly and crazy bitch then turn around and say, "You know I love you. Let's go watch the playoff game." It was making me insane, his lack of conscience and flip flop behavior. When I finally threatened to leave after he tackled me and left bruises on my body for breaking a vase in the house he said, "You're a coward, you'll NEVER leave me!" The next day he came home from the gym and the U-Haul was in the driveway; he yelled at me for taking a mirror then changed his clothes and went to the gym. I haven't seen him since.

He never asked where I moved to, he never called to check on my well being, he moved on like I was nothing to him. He only calls now when he needs money for the bills.

N's leave a path of emotional destruction in their wake...and God is just. They will get what is coming to them!