Feeling scared and frustrated

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#1 Jun 9 - 8PM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Feeling scared and frustrated

Hi all. I am feeling so scared and frustrated. We go to court on friday. Why does it feel like there is no justice/ I already sense that he is going to manipulate everyone. He is painting himself as the poor victim, the despondent man, the suicidal man. He plays suicide and I look like the cold hearted bitch, the revengeful wife.

I am feeling so low right now. It just seems that these creeps can get away with anything they want. Legally they get away. They get away as parents. It is just maddening. Sometimes it feels like there is no one there to really protect the true victim!

He has such a way of twisting everything around!

Just feel like crying.

Jun 12 - 12AM
jenn99 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

malicious

N's manipulate horribly...extremely vengeful during a break up and in extreme ways...while we were breaking up my N is calling lawyers ignoring and cheating on me, not talking to me...threatening to sue my parents, calling my mother and claiming that he's getting a restraining order against me and going to sue them for 60k..but first he's trying to bad mouth me to my parents and say that i badmouth them and expecting them to agree with him.. and wants my parents to turn against me...and that im going to break the order..and that then he's going to 'own me' and make me do derogatory things against my will...then he's doing all sorts of nasty things just to cause the victim more pain and suffering..and after that bout of suffering, then doing even more....for no real reason and even the break up was not raelly official, he just decided to 'get away' and began being nasty for no real reason...then claiming he's talkign to a judge and wants me locked up....some feel they're losing control or have lost it or are just insane... or really want to get at their victim...for whatever reason...all in the same sentence of these bizarre threats he's offering to do some things with me which made no sense... they are malicious and strange for no reason at all...and seem to want to exert the most amt of damages they can do...and of course it's a huge n injury
Jun 11 - 7PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

MALLORY!

Hey, just realized your court date is tomorrow?? Wanted to wish you the best, think of us sitting there CHEERING YOU ON!!! You'll be fine, I really think you'll nail this, NO problem! Hugs!!
Jun 11 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

quietude

Thank you for your support. I think tomorrow is just the beginning. It is more of a status meeting than anything else. First time my lawyer will meet him face to face. Really nervous. I know what a show he can put on.....
Jun 11 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

mallory

you have given your lawyer ALL the tools they need to see through the facade. He's crap wrapped in a nice package. I seriously doubt anyone will be fooled. He's done so much to hang himself and he's not going to know what hit him, IMHO Look professional, be polite and DO NOT interact with him at all, DO NOT make eye contact with him at all. Tell your attorney to keep him away from you and to NOT let him get you alone. Oh I wish I could be a fly on the wall to watch him crash & burn! And if he doesn't show - DEMAND A BENCH WARRANT! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jun 11 - 9PM (Reply to #11)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

mallory

Great tips from Barbara, as usual! I wonder if your lawyer is going to ask him some provoking questions? You know narcs can't keep the act up too long if they feel they're being attacked...! I agree, detach from his presence and keep focused on the task at hand.
Jun 10 - 9AM
Suzie (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Mallory

My husband says he is going to tell the judge that I owe him money because the last time I left he paid me child support on his own free will and so he should get it back since I am taking him to court this time.I am looking forward to him saying that. I hope they give him a chance to speak. It will be hillarious.Leah ps. he only gave me 4 to $500 a month!!! and I have 4 kids. The tight wade pig.!!!!
Jun 10 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Leah

can you record the judge's response when he tells him that? I need a good laugh. Next time he says that just say "go for it." LOL These guys really want us to think they are that scary. PUHLLLEEEEZZE! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jun 9 - 8PM
RenewD
RenewD's picture

Mallory

You're feeling this way because you're so use to not having the justice in your own own home or personal life. But. When you get to court, he's gonna make a fool out of himself. He can't twist the truth that much. He took off with another woman and refuses to leave her. Plain and simple. You will win this! He can manipulate your view emotionally because of the control that he's had over you for so long. He won't fool a judge though. Can you somehow distract yourself from thinking about it? I know it's hard, I've been there. But you can't get yourself all worked up. You're gonna need your strength in court. You're gonna be fine, I just know it!! Hugs... ~Denise~
Jun 9 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Denise

Thank you. i pray that you are correct. I am just feeling this heavy sense of doom. People fall for his bull all the time. I am afraid that the courts are not going to care about what he has done to me. I am afraid it is all formulaic. He will pay me my alimony and child support, and be able to see the kids whenever he wants. He will go on with his new girlfriend and new life, with our kids, and I am just going to have to accept all the abuse. Gosh, I really hope you are right.
Jun 9 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Mallory

Denise is right. you are gonna be dancin' this weekend after he steps in it and tries to play his games with a judge. Bets, ladies? This is a GAME to him. All a game and he's angling for control of the GAME through you. He will never see this is REAL LIFE and REAL LIVES are affected by him. And if he does he could CARE LESS!! Mallory you are still LISTENING to what he's saying as if it has weight. He STILL has a hold on your mind. Someday you will see that he's more full of crap than a broken toilet. To people outside his sphere of control - he looks like a complete A**!!! He's still controlling you, working on your empathy & fears - hoping to manipulate you enough to bail him out of how he treats you!! NOT THIS TIME! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jun 10 - 10AM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Narcissistic Sons and the Narcissistic Mothers Who Raise Them

Some narcissistic mothers fixate on their son as a golden child and a psychological partner. The son of the narcissist is adored by the mother. Although there is no actual incestuous interaction between mother and son, the narcissistic mother can be provocative and psychologically seductive with this child. Learning from early childhood that he is the prince of the household, he feels superior and self entitled to do whatever he wants. The father is out of the picture and takes no significant role in the child's development. The narcissistic mother has no interest in her spouse. The focus is on her special boy: his talents, charm, brilliance and superiority to everyone else. Early on the mother communicates to her son that he has no limits and is perfect. This boy knows from the time that he is very young that he is golden---adored and revered by his mother. The narcissistic mother often raises a narcissistic son, an individual she can turn to for validation and a special person on whom she can attach her grandiose dreams of worldly success and power. Mother's adoration and psychological fusion come at a weighty price. Narcissistic sons of narcissistic mothers have great difficulty becoming real men. Mother has manipulated her child as an adored object. As a result the narcissistic son cannot have emotionally and psychologically intimate relationships with women. Many of these male narcissists detest women and are frightened of being emasculated by them. This is a painful psychological remnant of growing up being suffocated by mother and not allowed to develop a separate identity as a man. Although these narcissistic man can appear to be normal with spouses and families, they are going only through the motions, creating and sustaining an idealized image of spouse and father. Beneath the elaborate facade, the narcissistic son remains trapped in the psychological strangle hold of his narcissistic mother whom he now treats with cold contempt. Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jun 10 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Walking Away from the Narcissist's Black Magic

High level narcissists are irresistible and irrepressible. They hold vibrational magic in their hands and magnetize us to them in seconds. Clinically trained psychiatrists are put off balance by this psychological voodoo. It is not surprising that most people are easily fooled and do not recognize that they are dealing with an individual who bases his "relationships" only on how it will benefit him or her. The narcissist has purposely come to the marketplace and will leave with exactly what he wants. . When we are bitten by a bee, our overriding urge is to pull out the stinger. When we are bitten and smitten with a narcissist, we keep the stinger. Surprisingly, at first, it feels so good. We are enchanted---mesmerized by the physical and psychological chemical combustion. It's Kismet, meant to be. We fall; we fly and let down any guard we ever had. Face to face, eye to eye with a talented narcissist is a thrill rush---a never ending adrenaline pleasure ride. Act II begins and the music, plot, scenery, and script become complicated. The rosy rush is muted by frequent criticisms, demands, intimidations, blame and complaints on the part of the narcissist. He is not getting his needs met. We are not paying enough attention to him or her. We aren't praising him enough for all of his accomplishments. We are interrupting the incessant flow of his brilliant ideas and insights. If you do everything perfectly for a narcissist , it will never be enough. He/she suffers from a severe personality disorder, deeply ingrained from early childhood that is very unlikely to change. When we are involved with a narcissist, the opportunity and the often obscured gift is in awakening to and changing ourselves. Will you leave the curtain down on Act III with the narcissist, leave the stage, pull out the stinger and begin to heal? You are capable of doing this and deserve to create and evolve your own life in the design, colors and textures that you choose. That new life can begin right now. Visit my website:www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com. Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/