how do you dress or make-up?

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#1 Jun 4 - 2PM
cassiemay
cassiemay's picture

how do you dress or make-up?

Hi Ladies,

I have been questioning myself lately (of course!) about issues having to do with dress and make-up. Here is my question/issue.

When you are in a longer term relationship ( define as you will), do you always "dress" for him? Do you always wear bras or show up first thing in the morning with a flannel shirt on, no bra, and sweats? Do you put on make-up first thing in the a.m.?

My personal life is that I tend to get "Relaxed" and show up in a flannel shirt with no bra and old jeans or a robe with no make-up. I eventually get "around" to put on the nicer clothes and make-up, but still feel like hey, who am I fooling here? When we go "out" I can dress as well as anyone else. But this is so infrequent. What are your thoughts regarding keeping the "sexual" relationship alive? When I occasionally change into lingerie I feel ridiculous.....how does this look when I've been in flannel all day? Does it seem ridiculous?

Just wondering what else you all think. May have posted this somewhere else, don't remember so thought I'd start a new thread. Thanks, CM

Jun 4 - 3PM
RenewD
RenewD's picture

Make up

If he really loves you, you will be beautiful no matter what you are or are not wearing. Don't sweat it...being natural and yourself is how you find out the TRUE character of the man you are with. :-) ~Denise~
Jun 4 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
GhostBuster
GhostBuster's picture

Squatter

When I was in the height of my insomnia and anxiety, my ex N commented that I looked like a squatter (homeless person who breaks into vacant homes and lives for free). He always wanted me dressed and made up for him.
Jun 6 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
grossot
grossot's picture

yea thats cruel

I'm sorry ghostbuster. Perhaps if acted like a husband worthy of getting dressed up for that's what hed get without having to demand it or make you feel guilty for not doing it. I lost 32 lbs in less than 3 mos during the stress of the affair. I was about 25 lbs underweight. People at work said I looked guant and sickly. My psychologist diagnosed me with anorexia. Know what N said? "Wow! Your stomach is finally flat. Good job!" nolongercontrolled
Jun 6 - 11PM (Reply to #7)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

STOMACH FLAT

My sick STBXNH said the same thing. I found out about the affair, and due to the stress lost over 20 pounds. I was somewhere around 92 lbs, and an anxiety driven mess. My STBXNH said that I should THANK HIM for getting rid of the baby weight! He never thought my busted up body would ever return from a third child. SO SICK! Should I send him a thank you note?
Jun 7 - 7AM (Reply to #8)
grossot
grossot's picture

thank u card

Yea send that mf-er a card and while you're at it thank him for freeing you of having to live with the devil for so long! Actually that would be giving him NS. Isn't that twisted? nolongercontrolled
Jun 5 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

GhostBuster

What a cruel comment he made to you Ghost, a real man would never do that. Personally, I felt myself caring less and less how I looked at home around him. I know I was fairly depressed and unmotivated, and pretty BITTER inside ~ enough to be snarky about having to play the 'vamp' for him. I found myself lounging around in my tanks and pj pants...I wanted to wear what I wanted and be comfy. I have to dress up for work, so that was the exception. I just stopped caring what he thought in some ways. I remember this past winter, I love my ugg boots, and he'd just look down at them in a subtle-disgusted way when I'd put them on. Tough crap! I liked them, ha! I really think this was the beginning of me 'mentally' leaving him!
Jun 6 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
GhostBuster
GhostBuster's picture

Definitely cruel

He thought his commentary was quite funny. I didn't really care that much what he said about my appearance at that point. I too, toward the end, didn't try very much to be visually appealing for hi. When he made that comment, he was on his way out the door to pick up some Maalox for me because he was literally making me sick to my stomach (reluctantly...he wanted to make a few stops before getting me the Maalox, but I insisted he get it and come right back...THEN head out and leave for the day to do whatever he needed to do). Funny, right after he dropped off the Maalox and left for the day, my stomach ache went away. Talk about my body trying to tell me something, eh?
Jun 5 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
cassiemay
cassiemay's picture

makeup/dress

Oh I forgot to add....this is with my b/f, NOT the STBXN!