Accepting I have been thrown away

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#1 April 28, 2009 - 10:20pm
malloryforest
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Accepting I have been thrown away

One of the hardest parts to accept is how easily our marriage, me and the kids have been thrown away. I feel so worthless. I think, gosh she must just be the greatest thing that he could drive his family across country and drop us off, just to be with her. What is so great about this person that he would give up his family?

I know I shouldn't be so tough on myself, but I am. My mom in law also told me that she hopes I learn from this marriage, and I put my next husband at the center of my world so that I don't have a man leave me again.

The other woman, husbands girlfriend, sent me an email, telling me how we are all going to grow from this and become better people. I was astounded. It was though she was telling me she had done me a favor, because now we are all going to grow from this lovely experience.

I ran into her once, and she asked if she could give me a hug. A hug? I just found out, and she is asking me for a hug? (She had also offered to babysit my newborn child when I didn't know that she was sleeping with my husband.)

I once found a letter from her written to my husband. She wrote in the letter that he should not listen to me, his friends, his family, because we were all bringing him down. He had a right to fun in his life and she was that pantiless fun! Yes, she wrote that.

So, me and the kids move across country, and he goes home and takes her on vacation to celebrate all their hard work.

I feel like a piece of garbage. How can someone who had three children with you, and twelve years of marriage just toss me and the kids away?

It was almost like a sick game of which woman should he take....his wife or his girlfriend. Who was going to feed his ego enough?

April 29, 2009 - 6:26am
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

omg

what an incredibly sick worthless piece of human garbage, mallory. I am glad he's away from you. Toxic - just toxic. I hope you do read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS. It will explain so much about yourself and the situation to you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Cost-Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
April 28, 2009 - 10:26pm
better off
better off's picture

In the end...she did do you

In the end...she did do you a favor. Because HE is a piece of garbage. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but you are better off living without this man hurting you anymore. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. The comment from his mother explains a little how he turned out this way. You'd think she'd have some feeling for her grandchildren at least. The best thing you could have done is be far away from him, as the less contact you have, the faster you will heal.
April 28, 2009 - 10:40pm (Reply to #2)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Thank you

You are right, the other woman probably did me a favor. Right now my self esteem is so low it is hard to truly believe that. In regards to the mom in law. She blames me for her children being far away from her. It is almost like I can't believe this really happened. It is almost like, I can;;t believe he is this evil. He can't be this evil, so it has to be me. And the other woman...can't she see how awful it is? How can she want to be with him? Aren't there big red flags waving in front of her? Or does she just think she is just so special and their love is so real that he would be willing to give up his family for her? Sick thing...she gave him a charm that says something like true love. He carries it around in his bag with his wedding ring. to this day, he carries these both around. I know because he showed me. What sick man carries around a token of love from his girlfriend next to his wedding ring?
April 28, 2009 - 11:48pm (Reply to #7)
better off
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And shows it to his wife?

And shows it to his wife?
April 29, 2009 - 12:03am (Reply to #8)
malloryforest
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And shows it to his wife

Yeah. He showed it to me. It was suppose to be a symbol of his confusion. To me, it is a symbol of his craziness. For months it was this back and forth. One day he would come over with groceries and want to cook dinner for me and the kids, the next night he would declare that he had to spend the next night with her. I kicked him out of the house, and he would still walk in whenever he wanted. He would come home and "kill time" until she was ready for them to go out for dinner. He wanted to have both, me the wife and mother, and her...the hot sex. I didn't change the locks or file a restraining order. I put up with the hell, because I was planning my escape. I new the less I did to piss him off, the easier it would be for me to leave.
April 28, 2009 - 10:52pm (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

put this where you can read it every day this week, mallory

http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2007/12/other-woman-now-hes-happy.html
April 28, 2009 - 11:32pm (Reply to #4)
malloryforest
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On the Fridge

Hung the article on the fridge. Thank you. Also have a copy in my purse. It is so hard to get it though my head that this is about him and not about me. I know in a year I will look back, and understand this to be true.
April 29, 2009 - 1:29am (Reply to #5)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

put HIM in the garbage

I have read this statement in one of the many precious articles posted by Barbara ( do not miss any single one, please.....it is better than any painkillers or therapy) Dogs bark. Cats meow. Abusers abuse. The next in the line to be abused is her. ((((HUGS))) Remember: Safe People are people who draw you closer to who you were meant to be spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. They encourage you to be your most loving, growing self. (Emotional Abusers- Heartless Bitches International)
April 29, 2009 - 1:32am (Reply to #6)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

And I forgot to mention..

....what a WONDERFUL, SENSITIVE (huh just a moment I have to vomit) CARING woman is THAT, oh but how you cannot appreciate the fact that she wants to hug you, you naughty girl! And HIS mom what a wonderful woman she is too! The pantiless philosopher and the witch......how could you think to a better revenge than imagining him surrounded by THESE people? Remember: Safe People are people who draw you closer to who you were meant to be spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. They encourage you to be your most loving, growing self. (Emotional Abusers- Heartless Bitches International)