Speaking of horses

6 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 6 - 12PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Speaking of horses

....(no offense to animal lovers, I'm one myself)...but what is with an N's incessant need to beat a dead horse beyond recognition?

I don't know....this may have been discussed previously, but this absolutely drove me crazy in my relationship. He just would not let things DIE. And the littlest mistakes I made were turned into a HUGE deal, to be brought up over and over and over again.

He STILL is doing it in his efforts to win me back (funny enough), by saying he hopes that I can forgive him, he's forgiven me for MANY mistakes. OMG, these were such trivial things, and some of those things other people were responsible for, not me. Like he HATES that a family member kind of 'snubbed' him, (in his mind), and he will still to this day use that against me. I just want to tell him to shut up already, that had nothing to do with me, so stop making me pay for it every time we argue!

I've never done anything remotely serious to jeapordise our relationship like HE has. The beating to death of everything and making you pay over and over for the same mistakes is just maddening.

So glad I have CUT that out of my life. How in the world do we put up with such unreasonable behavior???

(I know the answer, just ranting)... :)

Apr 9 - 8PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

I stopped one of those rants

I stopped one of those rants by looking shocked at whatever it was he was accusing me of and saying 'that never happened that must have happened with someone else" he looked so confused. I was just laughing and laughing. they lie so much they can't keep it all straight. Carolyn
Apr 10 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

rants

It got to the point where it got so bad that I sat there and 'took it', just nodding in agreement, actually validating him! I knew that at least for a time, it would be out of his system because he knew he was 'heard'. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to yell SHUUUUTUUUUP! Telling him to stop, ignoring, etc, would have made it so much worse for me, his abuse would be ten fold... so I chose the lesser of two evils.
Apr 10 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

agreeing with them

quietude - don't worry about validating them... exNH? when he starts up? I just say "Yep. You're right. You're the king... blah blah." While in my head, I make sure he sounds like the adults on the Charlie Brown cartoons... wahhh wahh wah wahhhh wahh.... a bad trombone sound. It's all just WIND. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My site: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Free articles & information on surviving & understanding abusive behavior. Updated daily.
Apr 9 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Good for you!

Unfortunately, psycho-boy just yelled louder when I gave him that 'WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT' look. I swear he stamped his foot like a 6 year old too. Here's one of my favorite takes on that: Acting Like It Didn't Happen by Kathy Krajco A narcissist I knew cut other narcissists no slack. One day she told me that many of the girls at the school she taught in let themselves be abused as sexual objects. She said they'd found graffiti in the boy's bathroom that gave instructions. Step 1 and Step 2 are too gross for me to relate, but Step 3 was "Then act like it didn't happen." These are teenage boys smart enough to pull that stunt. She snorted at this, and for good reason, because that is HER abuse MO. Nor does she cut other narcissists any benefit of doubt about whether they know what they are doing. She says, "You are the easiest person in the world for you lie to" and that the only thing that matters is whether the perpetrator "SHOULD know the truth." Well, a narcissist like her should know, right? Indeed, because lying to yourself is just a second wrong that doesn't make you innocent of the first one. Not that she knows any of this stuff when SHE is the abusive narcissist in question. Then she has eyes but doesn't see, ears but doesn't hear, and a mind but doesn't understand. Then wild horses couldn't make her quit acting like it didn't happen. http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2008/02/acting-like-it-didnt-happen.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My site: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Free articles & information on surviving & understanding abusive behavior. Updated daily.
Apr 6 - 5PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

beating a dead horse

their singular obsessions like this are STRONG SIGNS OF THEIR PATHOLOGY That's all. CUT HIM OFF. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My site: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Free articles & information on surviving & understanding abusive behavior. Updated daily.