my narcisstic wife

4 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 July 6, 2008 - 9:00am
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

my narcisstic wife

I am a 30 years old man living in the middleeast. I am highly lovable, outgoing sociable and empathetic to the bone. Unfourtunatly I was married the traditional way(arranged marriage).The traumatized child I got married to was 25 years old.
The reason I said tramutized because she was just that. Her parents gave her away when she was only 8-months old.The new caretaker was her maternal grandmother who lived in a different city.she was the first born , she has 7 other siblings who lived with the parents.She only got reunited with her parents and siblings at the age of 18.througout our engagment and now 6 months of marriage , she always struck me as being, distant, slef-centered, self-entitled,grandoise, controlling
she gets into rage when her demands get rejected. I am romantic and altruistic by nature, but I do have a high sense of self-esteem, and a high sense of right and wrong.She refuses to get engaged in any serious discussions. she hates it when I try to voice an opinion. she rarely ask about other people welfares, she is asocial.she is terminally bored, and like to be thrilled. she does seem sadistic in bed; she tries to sexaully frustrte me by conscoiusly distracting me while we are having an intercourse.

Having read the online articles about the possible causes of the narcisstic disorder
and knowing the circumstances in which my wife was raised in ,I am convinced of the fact that my wife developed this primitive defences as a way of protecting herself of the trauma that was caused by the abandoment of her parents.
This abandoment made her feel at unconscious level that she is worthless, flawed, unloved. It was a poingnat journey for this child. But i cant help but divorce her to regain my sanity

March 3, 2009 - 7:47am
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

my narcissistic wife

You might want to look at information on bi-polar disorder. Personality disorders and bi-polar individuals all have some degree of narcissisim. Get out of that marriage carefully. If she is sadistic with you anywhere in your life she will go for you in the divorce with sadistic glee. Don't get into the legal arena unless you are well protected and well prepared. Nothing with these people is easy and she can terrorize you in court for years. Carolyn
February 17, 2009 - 9:25pm
H.H. (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Sounds like she just needs

Sounds like she just needs to grow up ! How to procede with that i have no idea .....but is divorce "tradiional" ? Just askin ......
July 7, 2008 - 11:22am
Lisa Scott (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I'm so sorry to hear about

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation with your wife. You must be going through a lot right now, but you are good to recognize it early. From what you say about her childhood, I could see how she developed these defenses. I encourage you to ask her to join you in couple's therapy where you may learn more and be able to determine if she is a full-fledged narcissist. If she is, unfortunately I believe her behavior will only get worse. This type of behavior does push you to the edge of your sanity, at least that was certainly the case for me, and it's important not to let things go too far. You must protect yourself and your well-being by being proactive in this situation. I encourage you to seek professional help and applaud you for being so honest with yourself about your relationship. Many people don't have the strength or courage to look honestly at their relationships, but you do and I applaud you for that. Please don't give up and keep us posted!