he made contact

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#1 May 28, 2008 - 2:34pm
Anonymous (not verified)
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he made contact

Originally posted by: Sharon1970star on Feb 17, 2008, 1:09pm

Hi Everyone, i really need advice here as i'm not sure how to proceed with this one. My ex of 2 year have been broken up now for 3 months (only 5 weeks with NC). Throughout the first month and a half we were emailing eachother some pretty hurtful emailis. The break up was messy and immature (we were fighting quite a bit) and resulted out of a big fight and us not speaking. We bumped into eachother 1.5 months ago and based on his demeanour and things he said to me i basically turned around and asked him for another chance which he flat out refused. this only made me beg more (a few days and i gave up).

He has contacted me (just a simple hello hope you're well) and i have not responded. Why - because 1. i don't trust his intentions (i believe he was rejected by another woman). 2. He was mean to me when we broke and hello isn't going to cut it at this point. I know that if i don't respond he will not pursue it further because of his pride.

I decided to respond 5 days later: "Thank you for your email. I'm fine .I also hope that you are happy and doing well". its been a week now and he has not resonded or sent me another email. I would like to know if you think he will contact me again.

I know I shouldn't want him back however i have to be honest i do. Yes he is a narcissist however not as mean or difficult as many of the narcissist described here. He was considerate, tender, giving, respsonible (with me) and has always been in long term relationships. However, he has a huge sense of entitlement and no empathy which i realize makes it difficult for a loving relationship. But i still feel that we could have a good enough relationship and still love him dearly.

I am not sure if he will try contacting me again, however, if i wanted to see if a reconciliation is possible what is the best way to proceed with winning him back without looking weak?

Any advise would be so appreciated.



May 28, 2008 - 5:51pm
Lisa Scott (not verified)
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Re: he made contact

Originally posted by: Char on Feb 29, 2008, 9:49pm I know this is so hard but it will be harder if you regain contact with him. The fact that you came to this board shows you have been dealing with someone who at the least has narcissistic tendancies. This is not something to take lightly. I went back to him four times and each time he ended up ditching me. Believe me when i say it gets worse each time. Please do yourself a favour and cut your losses. You deserve way better!
May 28, 2008 - 5:50pm
Moderator (not verified)
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Re: he made contact

Originally posted on Feb 22, 2008, 5:10pm You probably won't be thrilled with my advice, but I really think you should stay clear of him. You say he's a narcissist, but then dismiss it. I wouldn't be too quick to ignore this. Narcissism has huge implications for a long term relationship. I personally would advise against dating anyone with significant narcissistic tendencies. You would be much happier on your own and this way, by staying alone, you allow the possibility of meeting someone else who is capable of real, genuine love.