confused about my boyfriend

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#1 May 28, 2008 - 5:48pm
Anonymous (not verified)
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confused about my boyfriend

Originally posted by: luckyme392002 on Jan 18, 2008, 2:07pm

I am in a relationship with a guy who is a narcissist. He told me this about a year ago...it's been hard and it seems that he never gives a hoot. I feel very unloved and lonely. Yeah, he cares, but I don't think he knows what love is. I am 23 and so is he but things have gotten way out of control. I am not sure how to handle all his behaviors because we've been thru so much togther.

May 28, 2008 - 5:49pm
Lisa Scott (not verified)
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Re: confused about my boyfriend

Originally posted on Jan 22, 2008, 2:11pm Good advice to try to see if he is bi-polar first. Bi-polar disorder can often be misdiagnosed as narcissism. Narcissists have a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde personality that you often find in bi-polar people. If he is bi-polar then he is capable of real and genuine love. Unfortunately, if he is a narcissist, I am of the opinion that he is incapable of real genuine love. In my book I explain why narcissists enter into and maintain relationships. They have a real need to be in a relationship, but it is not based on the need most of us have, which is love. They need to be in a relationship in order to extract narcissistic supply from their partner. In other words, they need another person who is reliable and dependent to provide attention and stroke their ego (i.e. narcissistic supply). I hope you find your boyfriend is bi-polar rather than narcissistic because bi-polar disorder can be treated. Unfortunately, everything I've read and every doctor I've consulted concurs that narcissism is difficult if not impossible to treat. Good luck and please keep us posted!
May 28, 2008 - 5:48pm
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Re: confused about my boyfriend

Originally posted by: Carolyn on Jan 19, 2008, 1:08pm Hello my name is carolyn and i usually dont post replies too often because i could get in trouble with my Job. I am a college counselor . I sense your frustration and i want you to know there is hope for you if you truely want the relationship, which is something you need to think about before you make a decision you might some day regret. Narcisist can be very difficult to live with on the other hand you might notice he is very easy an comfortable to live with also. There is no middle to a narcisist. It is very closely related to Bi polar mania and is often misdiagnosed . One thing i would suggest if you want a cheap inexpensive way to find out if he is bi polar is secretly add fish seed oil to his meals, you wont want to tell him what its for, his mind will make him think its helping. You should do this with each of his meals. You will want to put one capsule in his food with each meal for a week then the second week just give him 3 capsules with one meal a day and then the third week if its helping break it to him that he is bi polar. You need to do this very carefully he might get upset that you went behind his back with medication but let him know you were trying to help your relationship. You will want to continue three capsules everyday after that. As for yourself you need to do things you enjoy working out, going shopping take a bubble bath, read. You need to find something that you can do that calms you down and truely relaxes you everytime he gets in a mood. Find something and make a habit about doing the same thing everytime and your body will make a habit of automatically calming down when you do that certain activity. One thing that will help is a healthy sex life im not saying have sex every day or when ever he wants it but really explore eachother make a goal of having the pleasure last an hour it will make the both of you create a strong bond plus he will find parts of your body you never knew could be pleased. Well i hope you find my reply useful. I will keep an eye out for your questions keep posting up to date feedback on the outcome i wish you and him the best.