10 months and I'm tired.

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#1 Mar 29 - 6PM
Juliette
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10 months and I'm tired.

My recovery process has been 3 or 4 steps forward, one step back it seems, which I guess is okay as long as the basic direction is forward . . .

But here's the struggle I'm having lately. Obsessive thoughts. WTF. Why, at 10 months out, does he (and NS) still take up head space?? Seriously. I'm so, so exhausted from fighting with my brain. I don't WANT him in my head. I don't want to think about her. And yet, they still show up. In my thoughts, in my dreams, when I'm triggered by a song or a memory or a place. And it's not just him. It's him AND her. A constant reminder that I was indeed replaced and just one of so, so many sources of supply in his lifetime.

I see my therapist once a week. I read here every day. I journal - sporadically, but still, I do write out what I'm feeling. I'm working on a magazine article about my story with an NPD. I cry when I feel the need - last night I had a good 20 or 30 minute sob session, in fact, just to release all these pent-up emotions.

What else can I do? How do I stop the obsessive thoughts? What's worked for those of you who are farther along? I'm ready for a lobotomy. ;)

-Juliette

Mar 31 - 9AM
TruthbeginsToday
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I can only speak for my own

Apr 14 - 12PM (Reply to #17)
Liverpool1
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I'm numb too I think!

Mar 31 - 2PM (Reply to #13)
Juliette
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YES, THIS^^^^

Apr 14 - 12PM (Reply to #16)
Liverpool1
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Lovely words

Mar 31 - 11PM (Reply to #15)
TruthbeginsToday
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Juliette

Mar 31 - 9PM (Reply to #14)
done as dinner
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I'm almost 10 months NC

Mar 30 - 4PM
Journey
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"My recovery process has been

Journey on...

Mar 30 - 3AM
Dragonlady
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11 months out

Mar 29 - 10PM
Pumpkin
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As long

Pumpkin

Mar 29 - 8PM
brinamarie
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Unfortunately, this is

Mar 29 - 8PM
onwithmylife
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juliette

Mar 29 - 11PM (Reply to #6)
Juliette
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3 years?

Mar 30 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
onwithmylife
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juliette

Mar 29 - 6PM
round3
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Hey Juliette!

Mar 29 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
Juliette
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Hey Round3!

Mar 29 - 6PM
Hunter
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This is a Headfuck of the

Mar 29 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
Juliette
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Thanks Hunter . . .