New forum is coming. We'd like your input...

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Oct 19 - 11AM (Reply to #42)
blueeyes's picture

payment done thru pay pal

I signed up on the new site. It keeps telling me I have a private message and I tried to pay thru paypal and it won't let me. No rush, I know everyone is busy. Thanks.
Oct 19 - 9PM (Reply to #43)
betty2020's picture

The paypal is not set up yet

The paypal is not set up yet to receive payment. I will be switching you all to the premium membership this week. You will not have to pay at this time. i will put up a post when I have done this. :) only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Oct 17 - 12PM (Reply to #40)
Used's picture


thanks betty, but i ment how do i get the money to you, and the other board i am now on is that , now no body else can see our it just private for us....thanks for help..
Oct 17 - 2PM (Reply to #41)
betty2020's picture

Yes. There is a private

Yes. There is a private section on the new forum. You do have to have the premium membership to access this. When it is time to renew your membership you will receive an email with directions to Paypal. There you can pay by credit card or check. Hope that answers your questions only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Oct 17 - 8AM (Reply to #35)
Used's picture

betty 2020

i dont know, it said user name password so i put in what i use here.
Oct 17 - 8AM (Reply to #37)
Used's picture


thanks the email was in the spam, whatever that means...i havent got a clue about computers, and i rekon it will take me a whole day to understand the new forum...still thats ok it took me 40years to understand can i ask anyone how i stop my emails going in to spam. thats the first time it has happened.
Oct 17 - 8AM (Reply to #36)
Used's picture

lisa e scott

dear lisa. i sent you 2 emails yesterday, did you get them please?
Sep 29 - 11PM
MsVulcan500's picture

It Looks Pretty Cool!!

I had a chance to poke around the new website, All About Recovery Network, and I am really excited about what I saw. I didn’t have a lot of time, but what I did see on my little tour was what we have now on the All About Him board, and more. There are articles and blogs, and also the forums like we have now. But the forums are broken up into categories so you can find a particular topic easier. It looks like we can also build profiles so we can learn some things about each other outside of our one common issue. We can see people’s pictures, where they live, etc. I think this will make it more personal when we talk to each other. We can also send private emails to each other, so if we want to talk to someone else one on one, we can do that without posting publicly. There’s also a chat feature, similar (okay, almost identical) to the one on Facebook. I think this can be really good, because if you are in a crisis mode it can feel like days waiting for 10 minutes for someone to respond. There is going to be a fee for this new website, but only if you want to have the added features that we don’t have now. It’s $2 per month, and it's less if you pay for a year at a time. I personally think that is really cheap. I don’t know when this is going to officially start up, but I think there are some really good changes coming, and I’m excited about it. I think we can become even better friends through this new site.
Sep 26 - 8PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Yet another suggestion...

Hi guys...I was just in the basement doing laundry *a major milestone...LOL, and I happened upon a neighbor who was telling me a story about a friend who was being "abused" and how she tried going to the police because she wanted to get a restraining order yadayadayada, and how the police did nothing because they did not see bruises and I quote: "He doesn't beat her but she's being abused"...Ahhhh, oh joy oh joy how lucky I am to have found this site!!! I referred her to the board; however, when I go "HOME" on this site, there is an intro; however,it seems that unless someone has done research - which is how I ended up here, and probably many others...weeks months years of research but unable to put our fingers on it until we came here and found that YES! we've been abused, our fears and nighmares are valid...on the face of it, someone reading the "Home" page might not get the invaluable and LIFE SAVING resource this site is. In my humble opinion, I think that perhaps, the intro page, should actually FIRST address how abuse is not just fists...get more into the gaslighting and the D&D and how it is abusive... and then explain what a narcissit is and what an abuser he is. That's just my two cents. Thanks for listening...and more than that...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS SITE, THIS BOARD, THE SUPPORT EVERYTHING...It certainly has helped me tremendously, you'll never know how much.
Sep 13 - 9PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Forum/Message Board Suggestion

Program the messages so that the most recent response is at the top as opposed to the bottom so that a member doesn't have to scroll all the way down to see the most recent post. I think that's been my experience with the board so far. I do love how you can see highlighted the number of new comments so that would be a keeper.
Sep 14 - 7PM (Reply to #28)
Cpayne's picture

I just added a feature that

I just added a feature that will let YOU decide which order to view post. Message Ordering: Oldest post first or Newest post first. The choice will be yours. Hope that helps!! Chad
Sep 14 - 1AM (Reply to #25)
Cpayne's picture

Thanks for your input! The

Thanks for your input! The new message board will bump most recent topics to the top. Replies will be in the order posted. There will be pagination so after 10 or so posts there will be a page 2, 3, 4... and so on. This is preferred since if the most recent reply is at the top, you would have to scroll down or go to last page to see the original post and that would be very confusing. There will be a link to see all the most recent posts and you will have the option of subscribing to a post. If you subscribe to a post, you will get an email notifying you of new replies to a topic. You will be able to turn email notifications on/off. ************************************** The following is some basic info from the help file for the new message board: Set up your profile When you find a community and forum that you like and plan on staying with for a while it is a good idea to set up and complete your profile. You access your profile by clicking 'My Profile' located at the top of the forum. This area is not much different than any other form you have filled out online or in real life except that much of the information in here is optional. Personal Info Summary - All your settings from other tabs summarized. Edit Your Details - Edit your login name, email address and password. My Avatar - Select an avatar from those available or upload your own image. If you upload your own image, you can upload an image up to 250 x 250 pixels and 50 kilobytes. The forum will automatically scale the image for use in various locations. Forum Settings Look and Layout - Tweak a few forum appearance settings. My Profile Info - Fill in personal information that you don't mind sharing publicly. This is also where you fill out your forum signature. My Posts - List of your posts ordered by most recent. Handy for finding a post that you don't recall which board you posted it in. My Subscribes - List of topics that you have subscribed to send you an email notification for all new responses. My Favorites - List of topics that you have ticked as a favourite of yours so they are more easily identifiable in the forum list. Remember to press the 'Save' button any time you make changes in your profile. Reply to an existing post So, you have been lurking around the forum for a while reading every post and getting to know everyone. You have just read someone's post and you have finally decided you are going to reply and contribute some information of your own. Great! This is done by pressing one of the 'reply' buttons. Quick Reply - this brings up a small text area (without reloading the webpage) where you can quickly type a short reply. Press 'Submit' when you are done typing your response. If you have a change of heart you can press cancel and nothing gets posted regardless if you typed anything or not. Reply - This is the standard method in which you should reply when you want to reply primarily to the most recent post. The reason for this is because the subject line of your reply will autofill with the subject of the post from which you are replying. In case you were wondering, yes, you can change the subject. OK, now you are looking at what is called a text editor. Think of it as a slimmed down version of a word processor (such as Microsoft Word) in which you can format your text, add links, images, smilies, etc. More on how to format your post later. For now, type your response and press the 'Preview' button at the bottom of the page if you wish to view your post prior to submitting it. When you are done editing and are satisfied your post is ready to contribute to the forum then press the 'Submit' button. Quote - If you wish to quote someone's post whether in whole or in part you simple press the 'Quote' button located beside the 'Reply' button underneath each post. The is very useful if you wish to make light of or expand upon a prior post. Once you press the Quote button you are brought into the same editing environment that you use to edit or create any other post. At this point, you type your response directly to that quote. When you are done replying, press the 'Submit' button. Reply Topic - This button functions the same as the 'Reply' button with the exception that your subject line will autofill with the subject of the original post (OP). This may come in handy if you replying to a long post whose subjects may have changed over time but you want to reply to the OP. When you are done replying, press the 'Submit' button. Create a new post of your own Now that you have responded to a few other posts, and feel like an accepted member of the community, you want to tell us a little bit about yourself. To do this, you should start your very own topic so we can properly respond and greet you. Navigate to our General board and click on it so that you can see the list of all of the existing posts. At the top of the list is a button labelled 'New Thread'. Click that button to start your very own topic. You are placed at the same text editor that you used earlier when replying to posts. Simply type your message telling us all about yourself and press 'Submit'. Now you have your own post topic in the list. Format your post Remember we said earlier that the text editor is very similar to a word processor? Well, as in any word processor you can format and arrange your text for emphasis here in the forum. The first, basic thing you should know is that the forum uses what's called BBcode or Bulletin Board Code. BBcode uses 'tags' to 'mark up' your text. Each 'tag' has an opening and closing 'tag' denoted within brackets. An opening tag will look like [ ] and a closing tag looks like [/ ]. Notice the slash in the closing bracket is the only thing that is different. If you forget the slash, the forum will interpret your closing bracket as an opening bracket. The easiest way to 'mark up' your text is usually to type it out first, then select it, and press the appropriate button at the top of the editor. For example, if you wanted to make 'some text' bold you would type it out 'some text', then select 'some text' with your mouse, and then press the 'B' icon in the toolbar located just above the Message area (where you are composing your message). You will now see: [b]some text[/b]. When you preview or submit your message it will be displayed as 'some text'. Alternatively, if you know them, you can type the tags manually right along with the rest of your text or you can use the buttons at the top of the editor to insert the tags the fill in your text. Videos Embedding a video in your post is a more recent addition to the forum and makes use of many video sharing websites on the web. This gives us the ability to show the video in our forum without having to host it ourselves or making you follow a link over some other website to see the video. Once you have a video that you want to post you need to find the unique identifier in the URL to that video. It's difficult to provide detailed instructions or examples here, so we'll only cover the basics. Understand that each video sharing website uses a unique identifier for each video. For example, this video from YouTube whose URL is You need to know the video's unique identifier (which differs depending on what site you visit); in our example, the unique identifier is bqJE5TH5jhc. Once you know what that unique identifier is you can embed that video in our forum by selecting the video hosting website from the 'video' drop down list at the top of the WYSIWIG editor pr typing the following: [video type=] [/video] If you were embedding a video from YouTube, for example, the bbcode would end up looking like this: [video type=youtube] insert_unique_identifier_here [/video] for example [video type=youtube] bqJE5TH5jhc [/video] It's a good idea to preview your post to make sure the video is visible before submitting your completed post. Edit your own post There will be times when you make a post and you don't catch a misspelled word, fix a broken link or something that will require you to edit you post. It happens to us all so the edit button is easily accessible. When you are looking at one of your own posts that you need to edit you will find the 'Edit' button at the bottom of your post. Simply press the edit button and you use the same editor you used to create your post populated with the actual post. Edit your post as you see fit and, when you are satisfied, press the 'Submit' button at the bottom of the page. All done! Visibility and notification of your favorite posts Now that you have settled into your new community and everyone has met you, you want to be able to keep up with your favorite posts without checking in every five minutes to see if something new has posted. There a couple of ways that you can do that. Subscribe At the top and the bottom of every thread you will find the 'Subscribe' button. Pressing this button subscribes you to that topic so that any responses to that topic will generate an email notification to your email address stating that a new post has been made along with a link directly to said post for your convenience. You will notice the button now reads 'Unsubscribe' indicating that you are subscribed and pressing the button again will remove your subscription to that thread. Remember that you can also manage your subscriptions in your profile. Favourite Another way of gaining visibility of threads that wish to keep an eye on is set them as your 'Favorite'. This will place an obvious indicator, such as a star, beside the topic name of the thread so that it will stand out in the forum list of topics. You will notice the button now reads 'Unfavorite' indicating that the post is already one of your favourites and pressing the button again will remove it from your favourites. This is a great way to get visibility on multiple topics that you wish to watch without getting spammed by email subscriptions. Remember that you can also manage your favourites in your profile. -------------------------- Hope this helps! Chad
Sep 23 - 6PM (Reply to #27)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Wow Chad!

You've been a busy bee...can't wait for the new board to go up. All the best
Sep 14 - 11AM (Reply to #26)
betty2020's picture

Thank you Chad for this

Thank you Chad for this helpful insight to the members. I just want to confirm that this information can also be found in the help section on the message board on Allboutrecoverynetwork correct? only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Sep 10 - 5PM
Susan32's picture

Keep up the great work!

This board has REALLY helped me make sense of what happened a decade ago. If it weren't for this board- 1)I would've called the ex-Psych professor due to a classmate's untimely passing 2)I would've still had my ex-N boss' number on my cellphone, and probably called him This board makes a difference. Thanks for EVERYTHING!!!
Sep 10 - 12PM
onwithmylife's picture

hi chad

Welcome to the site, I want to add that I hope there is no membership fee, lots of people are struggling without jobs in this economy and I do not feel it should be fee based, thanks for listening.
Sep 10 - 2PM (Reply to #22)
Cpayne's picture

New messageboard

Hi! Thank you for the welcome! There will be no fee to use the public message boards.
Sep 9 - 9AM
faithinthefuture's picture

Welcome Chad

I am so excited! I read on another post where Lisa said something about a membership fee to keep it more private for members. I think that's a wonderful idea. I want to read everything that's on here but I would never get anything done during the day! so to put it by topics is an awesome idea. Thank you soo very much for taking care of us! Very much appreciated!
Sep 8 - 10PM
lisalisa47's picture

Great idea!

Awesome, I can't wait!


Sep 8 - 10PM
NancyM's picture

Hi Chad

What your doing sounds fantastic, so thank you for the work you are doing. As for topics sections, I will put together some ideas I have, and the others can add/subtract as they wish. Just on that, is it possible to have sections with sub-sections, or am I getting too difficult? Also was wondering if it is possible to implement a search feature for links to discussions that have already been posted. Thanks:))


Sep 8 - 8PM
sarah787's picture

I am so excited! Great job

I am so excited! Great job everyone. Here is my input: - Keep the navigation easy. I like the layout of this particular website. A lot of forums get too busy, and are really hard to navigate. - Perhaps their can be people's current city listed, as an option. That way if we'd like to meet in person we can. - I think it would be great if attached to the user's profile their could be a spot for the amount of NC it's been. It would be motivational! If I think of anything else I will mention it.
Sep 8 - 6PM
anonymous's picture

Can't Wait

Sounds like the changes will be great. Here are a couple of other suggestions: 1) The ability to subscribe to a topic so that you can more easily follow the ones that interest you 2) A 'like' button Thanks!
Sep 8 - 7PM (Reply to #16)
Cpayne's picture

We will be implementing a

We will be implementing a LIKE button to share on Facebook, Twitter, Digg, Google Buzz and more
Sep 8 - 4PM
Cpayne's picture

So far, so good!

Thanks for the warm welcome and your kind words! I have been working on the site, and I believe you are going to really enjoy the new usability. Summary of feature requests thus far: *Member post history functionality will be there *Quoting and nested quotes. -> these are built in functions of the new site *Forum topic: Raising Children with an N -> This will be included *PM function ->has been tested and works flawlessly *Chat function -> testing stages, but looks like a go. *Mobile phone interface ->I will look into this. May/may not be compatible across all platforms Keep the suggestions coming! Chad
Oct 16 - 9PM (Reply to #14)
blueeyes's picture

Mobile phone function-

FYI for mobile users-I use my mobile as my main source of internet browsing. This current site allows full acess via my Blackberry. Mobile acess can differ when there are certain security locks or applications in the USER cell settings. So far I can acess the whole site. Looking good!! XO
Sep 8 - 3PM
OriginalMe's picture


It would be great if the previous posts of members could be accessed by clicking on their screen name. I know in a lot of posts people refer to previous postings, and it would make the support we can provide these members much easier if we had easy access to their "history" on this site. Just a recommendation from me. Take Care, Brad "Be who you are, and say what you feel; for those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

"Be who you are, and say what you feel; for those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

Sep 11 - 8AM (Reply to #12)
iAmMINE's picture

Love this idea

I have found it difficult and time consuming to "go back" to a thread I had been keeping up with. Also, being able to see a "History" by clicking on someones 'name' would make it easier to get to know someone in sequential order as well. Thanks for all your hard work :) ~~~~~ “The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don’t give them,” --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf :)

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Sep 8 - 3PM
kiwi10's picture


Sep 8 - 3PM
betty2020's picture

Thank you Chad for all your

Thank you Chad for all your wonderful work and guidance in the creation of this new site and thank you for including our members input to provide the most comprehensive and user friendly website for our community. Lisa and I have seen your work first hand and your talents are remarkable to say the least. I know that our final product will be one that will be give us the ability to provide so much more for our users and give us opportunities to reach more recovery victims as well. Thank you again for all that you do and we are so excited about working with you on this new venture. I also want to thank all of our members for providing Chad with your comments and suggestions to help him build this site to fit your specifications and needs in recovery. Lots of Love Betty xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Sep 8 - 3PM
M's picture

please include

a topic forum for us that have children with an N