Today is my day 1 with the forum... I don't even know where to begin to tell my story... it's going to be a long one. Sorry...
I had an almost 3 year relationship with an N and left him about 2 and a half months ago. He and I worked together, I finally left the company, moved back to NYC from NJ, left him and moving on.
I remember day 1 when I started working at this company, my boss introduced him to me because he's the design director and I was the fashion trend analyst for the company. I remember as soon as he walked out of his office, his eyes lit up when he saw me. From that point, he would walk by me everyday with an intense stare. Then, he started to engage conversations with me, drop cute and flirty emails. I knew he had a girlfriend at the time plus he's from the office, I made sure I had my space. Finally, one day he came over said to me he broke up with her and he's been thinking of me every day. So I went for my first date with him, after that I just fell for him so deeply, so strongly. Because I found him understood me so well, my interests, my values... little that I know, he did his studies just like any other Ns.
At the very beginning, he would write me beautiful poems, send me flowers, telling me I was the best thing ever happened to him and he promised me the world. But there's one thing he made very clear:” our relationship needs to be underground, no one can know. Because it is not professional to date someone in the office". I agreed.
8 months into our relationship, the hot and heavy love from him became cold and nasty. He would blame me for every little thing: i.e. I didn't iron his shirt sleeves well enough; I didn't make a sandwich for him quick enough... I was so confused: how can I be from a perfect girlfriend to the worst??
Finally I received a phone call from the police dept at 4am asking me to go in to pick up his car and all his personal belongs, because he was arrested for DWI. I don't drive (grew up in NYC), I had 2 cab drivers drove 1 car went to the station and picked up his car... my suspicion made me go through his blackberry when I got his belongs from the police. He was cheating on me with 2 girls from our office. He was with 1 of them the night he was caught for DWI. I cried, but I waited for he to get back. He called and cried on the phone to me that he can't be in jail, help him! 2 days later he was released, I made him dinner and told him I know about the other 2 girls. He looked at me with no emotions, said to me, "I know". Then, he said, "did the cab drivers come in the house??" I said no, that's when he slapped me across my face, then said, "you slept with the cab driver!" I was in shock, didn't know how to respond... I cried and this was the 1st time I broke up with him.
Within 2 weeks he begged me to go back that he made a mistake - beautiful words again... I went back. About another 8 months later, caught him cheating again (with someone diff in the office), it lead to another break up. With extreme confusions, I took him back again. 9 months later, again (someone in the office), this is when (2 1/2 months ago) I finally left him.
I made it out! I actually started seeing a psychiatrist since this Jan. She pointed out that he had NPD. I can never forget the last conversation that I had with him, my break up conversation. One thing I said to him, "you said you want to have a baby with me, do you still think that way" he's response was, "if you had a baby, who's going to take care of me?" He added, "do you really want to throw everything that we had away?" my answer was, "I had nothing with or from you, it's empty" then I calmly picked up my stuff and left...
This is my story in brief... sorry for the long essay. Thank you for reading it...
ox everyone, please stay strong... we will get through this!