Can they ever get into a normal relationship after us?
Can they ever get into a normal relationship after us?
Hi, I'm new and should post my "about me" in that board which I plan on doing in a little while...
I was with my guy off and on since late May '09.
From May to June 09' the first month things were great, we clicked really well and spent a lot of time getting to know each other and slowly introducing our kids into the picture near the end of June.
June I notice he's pretty flirty with female friends on MSN and Facebook and I called him up at work (he's a cop) one evening while he was on duty and ended it over the phone after seeing some flirty msgs back and forth of his on Facebook.
We didn't speak for a month, then began dating again near the end of the summer of '09 till around Christmas. Just as things were getting comfortable something made me feel uneasy. He'd have plans to do things with people yet he has no close male friends.
I peaked (first and last time) at his phone one morning and saw a "thanks for the other night" msg from some girl to which I snapped and he said he gave a friend legal advice.
We were off and on through New Years/Valentine's Day, etc...then I ended it before Easter '10 as he grew distant and I told him to just let me go. He was immediately on a dating site and had a new girl within a week all while still contacting me etc.
Part of me was holding out for that connection that I thought we had...but I attempted to move on and date. Still he crept back into my life and we began recently spending time with each other, yet he still had a dating profile and when I asked him he admited it, but said he never went on it.
It said he was seeking long term, yada yada...however, his profile said online today (every day). I kept hoping he'd close it. All this time he's telling me that he didn't want to scare me off but I "could" be the one. He's divorced, 2 kids...says he isn't getting any younger and is ready to settle down now after 3 yrs since he & his ex-wife were over.
He told me he wanted to try with me again.
MEANWHILE, he's asking me how my day was and updating his dating profile to have visible photos of himself, etc. I called him after seeing this and told him to figure his shit out and then call me. Then I realized how nuts this is and told him I never wanted to see/hear from him again. He told me 'sorry to hear that but I'll respect your wishes.' I told him he was a f*cking joke, he replied 'f u, you never asked me if I was actively on that site and I'm not. (Now this could have been a cop tactic to get me to admit that I had indeed been checking up on him.)
Either way, I replied "whatever. nice pics loser. way to wheel 'em in!"
And that was it.
Can these guys, or this guy in particular...like, what is their point? Why keep me around? Just for an ego boost until they do find the one?
Once they find "the one" will they keep all these other women around who flirt with them online and stuff or can they have a solid relationship and ditch all these other sources once they find a girl that they are indeed happy with?
That's the part that's driving me nuts. Like why am I not good enough? We laughed and had such good times, then he'd turn around and be all sketchy behind my back with this dating site stuff and having to chat daily with these other women.
HELP.
NO!!
Is this normal?
whats normal
Normality
susan
The difference between the professor and the boss
susan
Not in love
my best friend was his
I know what you mean. My
Hook - Clingy or independent?
hooklineandsinker
Sorry I didn't read
almostlydia
The One
"I went from being THE ONE
Insectt
usually the ones they think
The only times he
ugh
Its strange how our mind
my heart and my head hears
Playedwithfire
Playedwithfire
scoop
Welcome to Vain forum :)
What about when it seems like we went looking for the abuse?
Me too, and I was so angry
You ladies are incredible.
Part of what a narc dose is
?
I can remind myself of the trillion times he ignored me