Well, he's officially ignoring me now too...should I just be grateful? Why does it hurt so much?

I want to be friends with my narc because I feel lonely and he is someone I could have a decent conversation with and see in person (at least I know how to steer around most of his madness)...so I broke NC in a stupid way by texting him. However, he's the one that's ignoring me now. And I can't stand it. He's also a scary person when it comes to holding grudges - he puts together these elaborate plans for years to come about how he will exact revenge (not physically) on the 'slights' caused him by others. I feel like I'm still on that list from something that happened a while back (though I was hardly at fault, I think). I'm scared of this and that's also why I want to keep my "enemy close." Now I feel like I'm digging my own grave, so to speak, because I can't bring myself to leave him alone, not understanding why he's ignoring me now. I think it's a power trip; that's one reason. I blocked the ability to receive and send texts...I'm hoping that next time I get the urge to contact him (though I've called also), that at least he won't get my texts.

one more thing AJRD, when you said the stupid part of you, what you mean is the HUMAN part of you. don't put yourself down because this lowlife messed with you. they are experts at manipulating people. just use your knowledge to stay strong.

AJRD, i am 3 months NC with my N. like you, it is hard for me cause he lives right down the street and just "happens" to walk by my house everyday. its pathetic really. i know it's hard, but you MUST remain NC! i feel so empowered since i started ignoring him first. i know it drives him crazy. at one point, he started ignoring me too, and yes, that bothered me, but then i realized that he is just such a loser. even when he tried to ignore me, i knew he would eventually try to contact me, which he did. but i was strong and kept ignoring him . i feel better than i have in a long time. it does suck, but it is normal to feel bad when he ignores you. just remember that he is really just a pouting 5 year old ( i just insulted every 5 year old). stay strong and you will feel better than if you continue to be sucked in by him. you can do it!!

And you should Offically IGNORE HIS ASS! The Sun does not wait to rise until his ass appears. You are important too! DO not break contact. It gives you the greatest since of empowerment to DITCH HIS ASS! Look good when you go to work -put your makeup and perfume on (if you wear them) be happy and walk right past him. They hate to be ignored believe me. Do not let him see you moping or hurt it will only make the monster grow. If you want to cry wait until you get home. Go for a walk on your lunch break or get in your car and drive if you can. Find some other co-workers that you can interact with. Do not give this fool another ounce of your energy. DITCH HIS ASS!

i dont know if you have read my posts, but i understand. after being married three years to what some people believe on here to be total psychopath who beat me with a belt, i still have trouble not looking to him for an appology or vallidation. it will pass i think :( just try to vallidate yourself. I dont think he owuld be avery good friend to you.

It is normal to want some kind of validation, some remorse...something, but AJ...it isn't going to happen, and if it does, it is only because he's looking for more supply from you. You don't deserve crumbs. These people are not human. That is the reality... They are a penalty. Hold your head up high...it hurts, we are here, we support you. Take the focus off of someone who lacks empathy, morals and values. Although you may be feeling rejected the reality is.... HE IS BENEATH YOU. Forgive yourself for misjudging his character, it's happened to the best of us. EVEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Tigers Wife...have been screwed over. Ain't a darn thing wrong with you. Do your job, earn your check, own you and like my aunt says...Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke! Chin UP...