in love with an image
He moved in with me last August 2009. He made me breakfast and dinner for me and treated me so nice. We watched movies at home and the theatre, worked out, went to the beach and went out to dinner often. Everything was great. Then one day he got really irritated with me about a phone call I got and he went crazy on me. He grabbed me with both hands and shook me. He screamed at me. He pushed me up against the wall and the curtain rod fell on me. He then called the cops and asked to send a peacekeeper over? The cops came and they ended up asking him to leave and take his belongings with him. He started calling me again and after a week he convinced me that I overeacted and caused everything. but in my head I started wondering if what he was telling me about his life was true. He told me he was a famous reincarnated yogi, he lived in a monastery in Tibet for 6 years, he has law degree and his PhD, is a kung fu master, he is also a minister of a church, wears a religious collar.
I ended up being at such a low point in my life I moved in with him into a new place in December. He paid for the deposit and all the rent. His mother and daughter came to visit for three months. Our relationship couldn't be better. He literally kissed my feet when he got out of the bed. He brought me water in the morning and then made me breakfast. He made lunch and dinner too.
He asked me not to work for three months and that he would pay the rent and for me to just relax. His mother, daughter and I got along great. Then one night I was talking to him about his daughter. He was wanting me to pretend that he had no money and that I was the one paying for everything in the household including her allowance.
I didn't understand this at all. It turned out to be a big fight. He started saying I was undermining him. He got into a rage and threw me across the room - I landed on my mac and the screen ended up being broken. I stayed in the bathroom for two hours. He ended up acting as if nothing happened. He had the screen fixed within a few days. and continued to make me dinner and treat me like a china doll.
I spoke to his daughter who admitted to me that she thought he had a mental illness. He told me how he feels he is above everyone, that he creates situations for his best interest, that he had been in trouble before. She even told me when he pretended he had been jumped by people and hurt himself to make the story seem more believable, that he was very mean to his wife Jan which eventually caused her to move out. A few days after I confided in her that he scared me with his rage she got on a plane and went back up north.
His mother left a few weeks later. then his relatives came in town, they seemed like the most normal people ever. they stayed for two weeks and left. They totally loved me. They told him not to let me get away. Now I wonder if that was part of the act. Are they in on it too?
then I noticed he started to seem distant. He would always tell me how much he loved me.
I started doubting myself. Maybe I am the one who is so insecure? Maybe I need to trust him. then he started getting into Star Trek online. He started playing 8-10 hour a day, I started feeling ignored and shut off from him. we quit having sex as often as we did.
I felt like he wasn't really there. If he wasn't playing Star Trek he was watching the series on tv.
we were at the grocery store one night, he had a basket filled with things. He set it down and I picked it up. He got mad and told me never to pick up a basket that he sits down again. He told me that it is like art and I am rung his work of art. He told me I was undermining him. I told him I did not want to be around him and he dropped me off and then went to his friends. He ended up calling an hour later and acted as if nothing ever happened. the next day I expressed to him I wasnt very happy about our relationship.
Then we started having problems with our condo. I had my name on the lease. His mother did also. But the condo management wanted him to put his name on the lease because he was a constant overnite visitor. He didn't want this and he told me from the beginning it was for credit reasons. He convinced me that the condo management had singled him out because we lived in a predominately gay community and we were not gay. I bought into it for a ittle bit.
Then I started asking him to just put his name on the lease. He refused. They wrote letters telling us that they would fine us daily if he did not submit to a background check and put his name on the lease. one morning as I was getting ready for work, I told him to stop writing letters to the condo management and for us to move. He went crazy. He raged. He started screaming at me. He chased me down our long hallway. He pushed me I feel. I tried to get up and he tackled me again. The skin off the side of my knee was gone. My right hand was scraped bad too. I ran for my life down to management. they called the cops. The cops came and then they questioned him. he lied and said I fell. They didn't arrest him. The officer was nice enough to help me get movers and get all of my furniture and clothes out and put into storage. He also warned me that he felt this guy is dangerous and even a restraining order would not be good enough. he told me I should leave, not press charges, and not worry about him retaliating against me.
so i moved out. He continues to call. He wants to know what happened. he convinces me to wriie a letter to management to let him back into the condo so he can get his things. I do this. now he still denies he did this to me. he says that I am making up the whole story. He says that he was trying to help me. i fell on my own.
while I was moving out I found numerous piles of legal case files. I also found that he does not have a PhD but a masters in art. He also had a strange collection of young girls photos all probably 7-10 years old. I found an article about him where he beat up his elderly father-n-law and tried to coerce him out of 85K but was arrested before he could collect.
anyway I am trying to get over all of this.
Lola1111, I am so sorry that
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thank you so much for your
thank you Barbara. I will
thank you Barbara. I will
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thank you introspection.