Why Ns don't sleep (my uneducated theory)

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May 8 - 2PM (Reply to #55)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

loveofmylife

DO NOT RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what are you doing????? why are you still dancing with this PREDATOR???? found a therapist yet?????? ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 8 - 3PM (Reply to #56)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

I won't respond

but it is so tempting. and yes, found a therapist.
May 8 - 6PM (Reply to #57)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

loveofmylife

if you do it anyway... and if lie about it to us.... you're still back to square one... when's your first appt? ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 8 - 7PM (Reply to #58)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

still nc

I am past the tempatation...so that is good. Appt next Friday.
May 8 - 8PM (Reply to #59)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

I've an idea that may be

I've an idea that may be good. When you're tempted, write the reply in your journal. That way you get it out and you don't have to respond to him. Just a thought

Ending the dance

May 8 - 10PM (Reply to #60)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

anotherpath

I like that - I will definitely do that. It is just like you need to get it out! Actually typing what I wanted to say on this board, I think, got it out of my system.
May 8 - 1PM (Reply to #54)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

Don't reply, it's all a game

Don't reply, it's all a game and a nasty one. Ignore it.

Ending the dance

May 8 - 12PM (Reply to #51)
wallaby (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Why are you thinking of a reply?

Remember he is a predator - ANY reply is "fresh kill"to him. I thought you were trying to go NC except on necessary business interactions.
May 8 - 1PM (Reply to #52)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

I know...

Had one of those moments where I would love to reply with an evil streak.... (since I never do that). Ya know, one of those "maybe if you didn't betray those closest to you, you would be happily sleeping and dreaming with theloveofyourlife.... one of those kinds of responses.... but I will remain NC.
May 8 - 1PM (Reply to #53)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

loveof..

GOOD FOR YOU! That's what we're here for, to talk you off that 'ledge' of making a big mistake. The temptation to let them have it can be overwhelming at times, I get that! But you know it does nothing to them except let him know that you are thinking about him in some way, shape or form. I promise not responding is the worse thing you can do 'to' him.
May 8 - 12PM (Reply to #50)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

loveof..

I G N O R E!
May 8 - 11AM (Reply to #49)
Janet
Janet's picture

Yes, Do not respond at all.

Yes, Do not respond at all. The longer you go NC the sooner you will have a healthy, happy life. Hard to accept and believe, but this guy is not ever going to be good to you. He is sick and always will be. You can't help him. Peace. J

Peace. J

May 8 - 10AM (Reply to #48)
Healingnow
Healingnow's picture

loveofmylife

Hi loveofmylife, From what I see you really are torturing yourself. If you are trying to heal from him you really are having too much contact. I can sense the hold he has on you. He has effected you for far too long. Just get rid cos he's really annoying me this prima dona
May 8 - 9AM (Reply to #46)
sanctuary
sanctuary's picture

You probably not going to

You probably not going to like this but: Nothing! NC! DO NOT ENGAGE!!! It's obviously NOT business related so do not respond!
May 8 - 10AM (Reply to #47)
Healingnow
Healingnow's picture

You know what!

I wouldn't even be business related with this one. No children no need for contact. He has such a strong hold that anything will keep this going.
May 7 - 9PM
lostmysoul
lostmysoul's picture

Sleeping with his eyes open

I kicked mine out just about 4 months ago. I am a light sleeper and can remember just about every night, flipping onto my other side and seeing his profile by the light coming through the window and he would just be lying on his back with his eyes wide open, staring at....nothing. Probably thinking about how he was going to 'explain that one' if I confronted him. which when i did, after reading his blackberry about blatant sex he was having, he said to me 'well, aren't you in control of this relationship. i guess you have a decision to make'. i can remember wanting to hide the knife drawer, but not really knowing why.....just a feeling
May 7 - 7AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sleep apnea.......

the psycho had that, off and on....he had every addiction known, including food......he was really only about five six...and once balloned up to 269 pounds..... and he developed sleep apnea from the weight....and would snore so loud you could hear him all through the house....and he'd hold his breath....i remember laying there thinking....one one thousand...two one thousand...three one thousand....he'd hold his breath for what seemed like forever....but always give a big giant gasp and snort and start back up..... just another one of his charming features........ and yet...if i coughed in the night...or sneezed or made any sound at all...or if the dogs shuffled around or snored...he'd go NUTS and start screaming how we were keeping him awake.....
May 7 - 10AM (Reply to #42)
sanctuary
sanctuary's picture

That's hilarious....I used

That's hilarious....I used to do that too, the counting. Got all the way past 30 one time. To bad he started breathing again. He woke up one night and told me the light from the water bed heater was keeping him awake....jackass! The light was the size of pencil eraser and was located near the floor on my side of the bed up by my head!! He's was just frickin crazy!! Addicted to everything too...too bad none of its killed him so far!!
May 8 - 10AM (Reply to #43)
Scooters Mom
Scooters Mom's picture

They live through anything

Mine had a stent in his heart and smoked three packs a day and ate crap. He will live forever! He went to the doctor and came home and said, the doctor thinks I'm depressed, probably because of all the stress you cause me lately. this was when I was trying to get out and quit letting him D&D me. I was furious that he caused me so much misery and that now HE is the one who is depressed! REALLY!
May 7 - 7AM (Reply to #41)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

same here

exNH snored, farted so loud the dog would run away and make noise in his sleep yet when I became disabled he PUSHED ME OFF THE BED for sweating from the medication and MULE KICKED ME (swore he didn't remember doing it) so bad I was bruised up and down... and would tell me I was "sweating on purpose" to keep him awake... ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 7 - 7AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

AMEN, SCOOP....

me neither......i don't sleep anymore...haven't slept well in years.....i used to sleep like a baby before that bastard came along...there's something about having had your husband try to murder that makes your sleep restless..... it's not about a clear conscience....it's about an ugly world.....
May 7 - 4AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

I never sleep though the

I never sleep though the night but that is because the word if full of psychopaths !
May 6 - 7PM
Monica
Monica's picture

Up 'til all hours watching porn...

...and jerking off. That's why mine didn't sleep very much. I think he did this every night. Would start watching and touching himself around 11:30 - midnight. Who knows how many hours he was at it. We never lived together. He must have been up pretty late because he was always running late in the mornings and had a hard time getting going for the day. I guess porn and masturbation are pretty darn exhausting.
May 7 - 7PM (Reply to #37)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

Monica. My exN was exactly

Monica. My exN was exactly the same, porn, masturbation every night the whole time we lived together then this progressed to cybersex. He'd go to bed around 4am. For the last 6 months he slept in another room with his computer so he could jerk off with cybersex. He was always late for work, and would say he was working on his computer late. What an awful way to live, 2 weeks before he assaulted me for the last time I'd tried to talk to him about our relationship in a really neutral way. He just looked at me and said he wouldn't tell me if he was having an affair as it would change things. Reality is that he has huge man boobs, cellulite, a fat bum and legs that rub together so all his trousers had holes in between his legs. In fact he looked like a huge pink bloated pig on two legs with a normal head on top. He would snore like a horse and fart all the time then go to the toilet and his bum would explode everyday, he didn't mind that I could hear this. Not to mention he's a narc............. yeah go and have your affair. Glad you're gone

Ending the dance

May 6 - 7PM (Reply to #36)
Amazed
Amazed's picture

LOL!!!!!! That is funny!!!!

What a waste!!!! I am sure you wanted to trust him during those nights,,,,you were probably very fond of him,,worried about him too,,they are a nightmare,,and cause this in others!!!!!
May 6 - 8AM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Never slept

He worked really hard, long hours in the hot sun. You would think he'd be drained...Nope! He would be up all night. He never came to bed. Finally, at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning, he would fall asleep in the living room couch or floor. Then in the morning when it was time to get up for work I couldn't wake him up! It was worse than trying to get a kid up for school. I would have to call him over & over. When he would finally wake up, he would be raging about not being able to find his boots, hard hat, etc! He'd say, "F**k!, I'm late! I'm going to get fired!" "Who moved my shit???!" It was like that every morning! He averaged about 3 hrs sleep...It was scary living with someone like that cos i never knew when he was going to get fired (& he was the only one working). I don't miss those days at all!
May 6 - 3AM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Vampires

Friends often described my ex-N as having bloodshot eyes,and that's why he wore dark John Lennon glasses. Some surmised it was alcohol;perhaps it was the insomnia of an unclean conscience. He'd always talk about having little sleep. Some of my fellow students said he'd have rambling word salad monologues in his classes (that's as creative as he got)
May 6 - 6AM (Reply to #28)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

unclean? not

what conscience would that be? THEY ARE NOT HUMAN! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 6 - 9AM (Reply to #29)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Heard this one?

"No rest for the wicked!" As I've said before,a Narc's eyes can be blank, their lips might lie... but the body doesn't lie.
May 6 - 1PM (Reply to #30)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Susan32

their bodies lie all the time BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT HUMAN and you need to stop humanizing them ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller