1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. news about one of Narcs OW

news about one of Narcs OW

9 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 2 - 10AM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

news about one of Narcs OW

Before anyone says that I should not look on this Facebook group...or leave it etc...that is not an option for me... and is not why I am posting this. Im just posting this as a way to disect and ask for opinions and support. thanks

Last nite- I was on a FB health support group..almost.all of the Narcs OW are part of this group (we just avoid eachother for the most part) well, someone posted one of the OW is going to be homeless.

This was one of the OW that raved about him...thought he was the best on and on...when I emailed to ask her just what did go on with them (she said she had no interest) I do believe her.. Narc just is not her type...he is a bore...and she even said that to him...told him he was such a downer. Then he would talk to OW #3 about how much trouble she was calling him when she was suicidal..etc. So, as you can see typical Narc badmouthing someone he is helping. sick!!

So, he now is this big support leader...and I am certain he is doing everything to raise funds for her to find a place to live... He will go to extremes to help anyone (but would never think to do something for me) no instead he let me drive home in the wee hours of the morning...kicked me out of his life etc. Could careless if I had money for food... cut me out of his life when I needed him the most. but when we were a couple he would drop everything for one of his support group members.

I think this brought the betrayal to the surface for me...and is what I need to focus on again.... those were the feelings I felt last nite as I read the post...all the hurt of finding out what he was doing behind my back.

Why hasnt his mask fallen yet.... sigh.

Apr 2 - 5PM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

thanks everyone for the

thanks everyone for the support. I didnt dwell on this today..instead did stuff for me... I remembered how I was able to see his life unravel in the past...and i was the one to pick up the pieces after two women exposed him.. .. the woman I posted about was one of three OW.. , however she cut him off and it never went any further... plus I dont think he could stand her calling for help. Im going to stop going into the group on FB...I never thought anything like that would be a trigger... but it was and so i will stay away. He has been blocked for awhile and all mutual friends as well. if they know you know too much about them they cut you off (and that is what he did to me.. i know waaaay to much about that narc) someone mentioned karma- each time Narc was nasty to me something happened to him... I agree too with whoever said FB can be a source of misery... for me it was other networking sites that caused me misery...that was where Narc would hang out..I met him in a health support chat(of all places) I am very thankful I am no longer part of his world... I dont have to be stressed with all his issues... the deep betrayal is what I have to work on healing. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Apr 2 - 2PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

keeping tabs on them..

yes...if you think they're a danger to you...i don't think there is anything wrong with keeping an eye on them...without them knowing it....it's just smart to try to protect yourself......sometimes the situation calls for it...my situation certainly calls for it..
Apr 2 - 12PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

two faced bastards.....

i long ago hacked into the bastard's email...and i get copies of all his incoming emails....and i've gotten an eye full!...i caught the bastard...sending me emails saying crap like...'i'm concerned for you and the dogs...i'm going to send you some money for them soon'.....then turning right around and emailing another piece of crap psycho he ran with...'i hate that bitch..she'll never get a dime out of me..she and those dogs can't suffer enough'.........
Apr 2 - 11AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

GOING OUT ON A LIMB HERE....

one Barbara is probably gonna cut through with a chainsaw :), but i think it can be theraputic sometimes to keep up with them like this....because when the sh!t hits the fan with the NEXT victim...and you can actually SEE it...i think it can be very validating...ESPECIALLY if you're stuck thinking it's YOU...and that he's happy with the new one...i think it can sometimes be a very eye opening thing...a big WAKE UP CALL to what a piece of skank he is.that it's a pattern he will repeat FOREVER...with EVERYONE.....and can actually help you to move on......
Apr 2 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

chainsaw

chainsaw off... LOL it really depends... IF you are ready for it, IF you consider them violent or physically harmful, IF it isn't triggering you, IF you know the line between caution and stalking... yes it can help - but narcnarc you and I are out of the situation long enough to know the line and we were both in PHYSICALLY THREATENING situations... if you think it will save your life and life of those you love, it may be o.k.... BUT ONLY THEN. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Apr 2 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

my hides

My ex hides everythiing he does,he blocked me on Skype,doesn"t use his nickname anymore,i know nothing,but once he turned skype on and told me he was talking to some people and that he was going to meet Them when They were ready and that They were good people like me! and 2 minutes later he called a loser and that i should go jump in front of a train...

Aceonelady

Apr 2 - 11AM
moving on
moving on's picture

Hi Destiny

I recently got rid of FB and another FB I made to be friends with the OW so I could see her pics and if the N was with her still. A couple of weeks back I saw her pics and he was still there, he was her date to her brother's wedding. I initially was not affected, since I had completed 3 weeks of NC. But then I got back into my obsessive ways, looking at each pic, trying to figure out how their relationship really is. Needless to say, pics don't show what's going on because everyone is "posing" to be happy. Anyway, I got rid of that FB and yesterday got rid of my own FB. These social networks bring nothing but pain when you connect w/the wrong people. I actually met N through there. We had a lot of mutual friends and go to the same church so I didn't think it was a big deal. But if I never had FB, then I probably would never have met him or at least not in the secluded circumstances that we did. My point is that you still have contact and you will be triggered through little interactions as described above. You have to cut him/the OW/anyone associated to him OFF. COMPLETELY CUT THEM OFF. I feel like a burden has been lifted after deactivating my FB. Nothing of value has come through there except keeping up with people, of whom I don't really talk to anyway. You said yourself that he does not care about you and was not there for you when you needed it most. Same here sister. Take it as it really is. The N's are not human and never will be. They only care about #1 and that is themselves. Take care of yourself and karma will help you. Take care!
Apr 2 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
azucar
azucar's picture

Hi Destiny

NC is the only way to maintain any sanity. When I first moved into my new city, my ex-N who is incredibly charismatic and well-connected introduced me to many of my current friends, or they were already friends in common. Once we broke up, I realized I was glad to have him gone, but what about my friends?! Were they "his"? where they "mine"? And because he wants everyone to know how awesome his life is, he is a voracious FB poster. I personally chose not to deactivate my FB account but instead RECLAIM it. I figure, the mutual friends that I am close with, I will communicatein another way (emails, calls or face to face) and I don't de-friend them but I "Hide" their posts. It goes without saying, U de-friended N. The result is, now when I open FB the only posts I have are of my friends who have nothing to do with him. And just remember, just as there may be happy photos of him and his new object, I am sure there are one or two that you have of the two of you, where you both look happy. Just remember he was and still is, acting, and you may even find yourself feeling sorry for the new girl who has stepped into the old trap. I realize that you are getting support from the FB group, but maybe you could try to find help elsewhere? Your recovery should be about you, and I can only imagine that it would be difficult if you were in contact with his other victims in any way. Stay strong, the mask always comes off sooner or later, just try to get to the point where it doesn't matter to you anymore.