Was I really that blind or is he really that good?

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#1 July 31, 2017 - 7:16pm

Was I really that blind or is he really that good?

Hi, Here goes my story,
I am a 52 year old who was married for 16 years after my divorce I stayed single for 9 years dated on and off but nothing serious never really connected with anyone and I was fine with that I had work,family and friends.About 2 1/2 years ago I was with some friends in our neighbor hood watering spot on a hot summer day when I was introduced to him Didn't really give it much thought other than he was cute and funny for the next few months we would see each other and have brief conversations I knew he was going through a breakup and according to him she was crazy and he and all his friends convinced me of that in time.In March of 2015 after breaking my wrist I had went to the bar and he was there celebrating his 50th B-Day and beings how mine was 5 weeks before and I couldn't go anywhere because I had surgery on my wrist we decided to celebrate together that was the beginning of my nightmare.As I think back on it he lied to me from the beginning it was always games at one point I told him that last time I looked I didn't have fisher price stamped on my hind parts and that he could take me out of his toy box. I should have left it at that but that just made him pursue me even more saying it's not like that with you I just don't know what I want ect so we began to spend more time together on July 4th he said he was going to Jersey with his aunt I over heard a bartender say that he was there with his girlfriend so I had been talking to my sister about moving to Florida with our mother so I made the decision sold our Manufactured home called a moving company and we moved to Florida.By September he had came here 3 times because he realized he loved me by November I went back to Ohio to be with him now in the mean time the crazy so called ex supposedly was still contacting him so I thought or was told.I was never allowed to confront her or talk to her him saying it was for my protection how sweet I thought he was my everything so I thought so charming and protective.His friends in April who own a 110 acre campground talked us into moving an hour away and working there yes great away from the ex now I can breath and be happy NOT. I allowed him to talk me into putting his name on my car for insurance purposes and we were going to get married big mistake.At the camp ground he began to show his true colors being selfish controlling angry if I didn't do what he wanted and it was always about him constantly borrowing money from me never giving it back so I stopped lending the fights got crazy the evil I could see in his eyes I knew I didn't want to live life that way couldn't reason with him at all I pretended everything was OK when ever we were around the campers or are boss or friends it was horrible October 15 th came and the campground closed for the winter we were the only two on the grounds for the next 6 months I cant describe what it was like fights arguments threats everyday he threatened me with something through out all this I would occasionally ask him if he had heard from the ex he would say no.Christmas Day for the third time he woke up mad at me for some reason or the other showered and left I was heart broken I cried all day I knew then I was done when he came home every-time he said he had been hunting OK you don't shower to go hunting.The end of February I got my income tax he fought with me at 1 am I loaded what I had came with and left headed back to family in Florida that's when my nightmare really began phone calls text messages hundreds I changed my phone # somehow he would get it he has apps on his phone were he can call from any number wasn't just my phone it was my moms my sisters I tried to file a stalking order he showed up and smooth talked his way out of it that was in April forgot he showed up here in March with a ring I sent him on his way he convinced me he changed and bla bla bla I thought about it he said he would move here. First week in May I knew he was not what I wanted and he would never change still trying to control me a thousand miles away so I stopped answering his calls after I told him it was over for good changed my # and my Moms never responded he would send cards and letters I returned to sender flowers in the mail in trash they went then comes a certified letter to appear in court in Ohio hes suing me for 4500.00 Really what a joke my sister and I go to court last week in Ohio the night before I finally meet the so called crazy ex we had a wonderful conversation he had been still pursuing her stalking her calling even took her a Christmas present the day he left me alone begging her to spend Christmas with him the things she told me I knew could have only come from him I was relieved but saddened in the same sense I had often wondered what I did wrong but now I know it's him and she went through more hell than me but are stories are the same.When my sister and I left the court I had said out loud to see his reaction come on we have to meet (Her name) for lunch oh boy did that fuel his fire about 2 hours later my sisters phone starts ringing it's him going off he was spun in his own web and new it needless to say the judge didn't render a decision waiting for that to arrive in the mail in the meantime he left several voicemail's on my sisters phone threatening me and the ex saying he will take me to court again so when I got back home I private messaged his sister and told her what he was doing and sent her all the voicemail's I also wrote a letter to all the woman campers that I know longer speak to and removed from my face book exposing him attaching the voicemail's I am to the point were I want everyone to know who he is I know he tells everyone I am crazy just like the ex and he plays the victim well.I don't know what happens now guess I wait and see I do know I am beyond over it and I am going to stand up for myself.Me and the ex talk but I wont make her relive the darkness she endured while with him she has a great man and is starting her life again for me I am so thankful for her because we have something in common that only the two of us share that we know.Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank for reading. Deb

August 3, 2017 - 2:17pm

beyoundovrit... thank goodness!

I am so glad you are out of that situation dear. My only advice is to RUN! if you ever see him again. You may feel plenty of aftershock now that he is gone, so try to read as much as possible about narcissism and educate yourself well on how a connection with them has toxic affects on us. You will want to take it easy on yourself, allow plenty of time and understanding, and self care, as you work your way through your experience. I recommend Lisa's book Surviving the Narcissist - The Path Forward as there are Six Steps to follow that really help move you forward, allowing for recovery. Take care and read all the archives you find here... there's lots of helpful information that you may find very beneficial.

FeFe

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