WELCOME NEWCOMERS/Forum Guidelines

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#1 May 14, 2012 - 2:34am

WELCOME NEWCOMERS/Forum Guidelines

WELCOME FROM LISA

Welcome to The Path Forward! We are so glad you found our on-line forum of support. Please know you are NOT alone and you are NOT at fault for falling for a narcissist.

It is very difficult to see what lies underneath the charisma of a narcissist. A narcissist is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing...charming, alluring, and often the life of the party. The beginning of the relationship is euphoric, intense and exhilarating. It is like nothing you have ever experienced before, and you can’t get enough of your newfound love.

You are put on a pedestal and told all your little quirks are endearing and adorable. You have never felt so incredibly loved by another person in all your life. A narcissist sweeps you off your feet and appears more caring and compassionate than any person you have ever met. Unfortunately, once you settle down with a narcissist, you will see a side of him you never knew existed. A side, quite frankly, you would rather not acknowledge.

Underneath the flashy exterior of a narcissist is a fragile ego, which requires constant attention and validation. The implications this has on a relationship are far more damaging than you could ever imagine. Eventually, a narcissist will discard, devalue, belittle and criticize you. Emotional abuse is inevitable in any long-term relationship with a narcissist. The abuse is not only devastating, but comes out of nowhere and causes you to question everything you thought you ever knew.

It is important to understand that narcissists are incapable of reciprocating love, which makes healthy relationships with them impossible. In the beginning, they seem to be overly compassionate and caring, but eventually you realize, they have simply put on an act in order to win and secure your love. The only reason a narcissist seeks out a relationship is to ensure someone is always present to meet his never-ending needs and stroke his fragile ego.

It is important to note that women can be just as narcissistic as men, but it was my own personal experience that initially led me to write about narcissism. Therefore, most of my early work refers to the narcissist as a male. However, I have now started researching the female narcissist and will be writing much more on this topic in the future. For now, if you are reading here and your narcissist is a female, please replace the male pronoun with the female pronoun.

My ex-husband was a narcissist. Not just someone who exhibited narcissistic tendencies, but someone who was diagnosed with pathological narcissism by his own therapist. Someone’s narcissism is labeled pathological when it becomes so extreme they have no ability to recognize other people as independent of themselves. They literally believe the world revolves around them and people exist to accommodate their needs. It is not just selfish, arrogant behavior that makes a relationship with someone like this difficult. It is much more complicated and thus, important to understand and recognize as early as possible.

My ex-husband joked from day one about being a narcissist. Unfortunately, it took me eight years to look into the true meaning of narcissism and how it impacts a relationship. When I did, it explained everything to me and opened up a whole new world for me. I have made it a goal to share what I have learned with others so they don’t live in the dark like I did for years.

I share my personal story of trying to love a narcissist in my first book "It’s All About Him.“ My second book "The Path Forward,“ is the foundation of our on-line forum and The Six Steps I believe provide a course for recovering from a toxic relationship with a narcissist.

Knowledge is power and can be truly liberating!

A relationship with a narcissist is toxic. A toxic relationship is one in which you endure emotional abuse at the hands of the person you love. It is a relationship that begins like a dream, but quickly turns into an emotional roller-coaster ride you can’t get off no matter how hard you try. It is critical you understand why relationships with narcissists do not work and realize it is not your fault. It is the pathology of the personality disorder that prevents true reciprocity of love and fuels the abuse.

I am frequently asked how to get over a narcissist. While there is no magic pill, you CAN and you WILL survive. Our on-line forum, The Path Forward, is full of great ideas and suggestions from members getting over these emotionally abusive partnerships. Based on the collective wisdom of this amazing group, dedicated forum moderators, personal experience and lots of research, I have developed 6 Steps I believe will help you recover and move forward.

It is my sincere hope and belief that the following steps will help you understand what you experienced, process your pain, and heal. Nothing here is rocket science and some of it may even feel like common sense. However, it is important to me to provide my readers with a path to recovery. Based on my personal journey, this is what has worked for me.

Step 1 – Understand It
We educate ourselves on the personality of a narcissist.

Step 2 – Get It Out
We find an outlet to share and express our emotions.

Step 3 – No Contact
We accept the only way to restore our sanity and regain control of our lives is through No Contact.

Step 4 – Get Real
We no longer deny reality and are ready to face our anger and fear.

Step 5 – Wake Up
We tap into the power of our mind to awaken our spirit and find ourselves again.

Step 6 – Heal
We have a newfound compassion for ourselves and commit to live in the moment.

Once we learn to see the narcissist for the person he or she really is, we are finally able to free ourselves. We realize we do not need this person in our lives to feel whole and complete. We were whole and complete before this person entered our lives and we will be whole and complete once we end our relationship with this person. It is the narcissist who is preventing us from being truly happy. It is so important you understand this.

NOTHING stands between you and your true self, but the narcissist in your life!

Welcome to our community of support. You are on The Path Forward Now!

Love & Light,
Lisa

FORUM GUIDELINES:

No one understands what it is like to love a narcissist unless they have been through it themselves, which is precisely why we created The Path Forward Forum. We can relate to one another on a level no one else can. As such, we have come together to support one another, listen and give advice from our own individual experience with a narcissist.

Please note: We are not mental health professionals and our on-line forum is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice. We are an on-line support group offering assistance based on our own personal experiences.

Our various forums exist to provide a safe sanctuary for you to talk to others who know exactly what you're going through. We believe there is nothing more healing and validating than to talk to others who "Get It" and understand firsthand what it’s like to be in a relationship with a narcissist.

You can post comments and submit questions in any of our forums. A full description of each forum and additional forum guidelines can be found in the "Guide to the Six Steps" which is sent to all newsletter subscribers.

CHOOSING A FORUM NAME:
Please do not use more than one forum screen name. We consider anyone who has numerous IDs in the forum to be a troll. Trolls are not allowed on our site and will be banned for security purposes.

Please be sure to sign up with a forum name that your narcissist will NOT recognize. We do not want anyone's narcissist to come here, read your posts and then use them to further abuse and attack you. Please be mindful of what you disclose. If you need to change your forum name at any time for any reason, please Private Message (PM) a moderator and they can do this for you.

Please do not disclose any personal information in your posts. Keep your name, your email address, your phone number and your location private. Please never use the real name of your narcissist at any time.

YOUR PROFILE:
There is a "Profile" tab for all registered users. It can be found in the left hand margin half way down. This allows you to edit your profile and preferences more easily.
Notification of private messages can be e-mailed to you if you choose to receive such notifications via e-mail or you can access them in the bottom right hand corner of our site under "Messages" beneath your forum name. You can edit your preference for notifications under your Profile tab.

PRIVATE MESSAGING OTHERS:
All registered users have the ability to send Private Messages to other registered members and moderators on our site. Simply click on the person's forum name you wish to send a message to, select “Send this user a message,” draft your message and then select “Send message.”

TREATING OTHERS WITH RESPECT:
Please know the topics here can be very personal, intense and challenging. Advice is given freely to those who ask for it. We ask everyone here to respect everyone else's advice. Please do not post an entire post in ALL CAPS. It looks as if you're shouting, and it is hard to read. Occasional CAPS for emphasis are fine, however.

While we are experiencing something similar, please remember everyone is different. This means everyone has their own recovery style. What works for one may not work for another. We encourage everyone to share what has worked for them as long as they are not disrespectful in any way. If you disagree with any advice offered, we ask you to kindly refrain from commenting. While it may not be helpful to you, it may help someone else tremendously.

Please always treat others with respect. We expect heated discussion of many topics, but those discussions must remain civil. Please keep your language clean. If you run across someone who irritates you, we suggest you stay away from that person's posts or report it to a Moderator in a Private Message (PM).

If you experience ongoing conflict, confusion, or questions regarding another moderator or member, please send a Private Message to our Lead Moderator, Goldie or myself directly. We will address and respond to you promptly. Please never use the site to Private Message other members or moderators with unsolicited and/or abusive messages.

PROSELYTIZING:
Proselytizing is not allowed on our forums. This is not a place to try and convert others to your beliefs. Share your opinion but please do not push or force your beliefs on anyone.

CITING OTHER AUTHORS:
Knowledge is power! If you do want to share an article or quote from an outside source or third-party website you believe is helpful, you must give credit to that author by citing the author's name and posting a link directly to that source on the internet. Please PM a moderator prior to posting.

We are not responsible for postings that do not give specific credit to the author. If we find such a post, it will be removed immediately or cited if we can easily identify the author. We have no control over, and assume no responsibility for, the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third party websites posted to our site by our members.

TERMS OF USE:
Please note: We are not mental health professionals and our on-line forum is in no way a replacement for professional therapy, legal or medical advice. We are an on-line support group offering assistance based on our own personal experiences.

By using this forum, you expressly relieve us from any and all liability arising from your use of the free advice. Any opinions, advice or statements expressed or made available by members, moderators, and third-party resources including information providers, are those of the respective author(s) and not Lisa E. Scott.

If material posted to the forum by members is deemed inappropriate, offensive or triggering to other members in any way, please note that moderators have the right to delete these posts at their discretion. This allows us to ensure our forum remains a safe place where people feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or criticism.

Under no circumstances will our forum be liable for any loss or damage caused by a reader’s reliance on information obtained through this site. It is the responsibility of the reader to evaluate the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information, opinion, advice or other content available on our forum. Please seek the advice of a mental health professional, as appropriate, regarding the evaluation of any specific information, opinion, advice or other content.

ABUSING FORUM GUIDELINES:
We reserve the right to ban any members who abuse the “Forum Guidelines” and “Terms of Use” stated above. We understand you are going through a situation which is very stressful. We need to vent and "Get It Out," which is why we created this site. However, please be mindful not to abuse others on the forum in the process.

We do not tolerate anyone insulting other members or moderators on our forum in any way, shape or form. If you insult or degrade another member on this site, you will be given a warning. If after three warnings, you continue to ignore forum guidelines and fail to adjust your behavior, you will be blocked from posting on the site. We believe this is the only way we can ensure our forum remains a safe and supportive place for our members.

Emotions are running high here, but the last thing we want anyone to do is take their anger out on other members. We have suffered enough abuse in our past relationship with a narcissist. Therefore, please note we do reserve the right to block any members we feel are creating a hostile environment as this is not conducive to recovery or healing.

KEY TO ABBREVIATIONS:
As a newcomer to our forum, we realize it can be confusing to read posts with abbreviations you do not recognize. Therefore, we hope the following key is helpful:

N/Narc - Narcissist
P - Psychopath
NP - Narcissistic Psychopath
NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder
PA - Passive Aggressive
NS - Narcissistic Supply
APD - Antisocial Personality Disorder
BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder
Bi-P - Bi-Polar
NC - No Contact
NW - Narcissist Wife
NH - Narcissist Husband
XN - Ex narcissist
EXNH - Ex narcissistic Husband
EXNW - Ex narcissistic Wife
XNW/WNH - Ex N Wife/Husband
NM - Narcissist Mother
NF - Narcissist Father
Nc - Narcissist child
NSib - Narcissist sibling
ACON - Adult Children of Narcissists
OW - Other Woman (Narcs with female supply)
OM - Other Man (Narcs with male supply)
Narcdar - The ability to spot narcissists
CD - Cognitive Dissonance
D&D - Devalued and Discarded
MC - Minimal Contact (for those who co-parent with PDIs)
PDI - Personality Disordered Individual
PD - Personality Disordered
LDR - Long Distance Relationship
ST – Silent Treatment
HOOVERING - Being manipulated back into a relationship with threats of suicide, self-harm, or threats of false criminal accusations.

November 3, 2017 - 1:05pm

is it possible to be in a successful relationship with a N?

This is my first time posting in any forum of any kind but as of lately i've been determined to read/research narcissistic behavior. I have been in a relationship now for a little over a 1 1/2 with someone I'm truly in love but within the last 6 months or so i have come to realize my bf shares many characteristics of a N, primarily the lack of empathy and the ability to manipulate situations and make me feel "it's my fault". I've mentioned to him before that he is a narcissist to which he has agreed but, doesn't necessarily think it's a personality disorder. While I agree the behaviors do not happen all the time (there are moments where he does display accountability and empathy) its more often than not that I'm stuck feeling like i'm going crazy or things are my fault. We've often thought about ending the relationship due the personality conflict as he describes me as "overly-emotional" and stubborn which is why or relationship can go on the decline but we can never do it because we both agree if we can over come these "bumps" that our relationship has too much potential to just give up. I will say that he has a willingness to adjust or change certain behaviors to make this work, but when it comes time to put the work in, i don't see a big enough effort on his part and there is a HUGE expectation on my part to change ( he is also very alpha-male). I guess i'm wondering, knowing what I know of my bf and his N traits, can our relationship truly survive? As I research online I see so many negative comments or experiences where you're told to "get out" but I don't have a quitters mentality, and i'm hoping someone can share an experience of sticking it out with a N and their relationship lasting.

Thanks for listening.

QTNA

June 23, 2017 - 11:31am

Hi everyone

Hi everyone. Im erica, 31 yo from europe. I think i have been in a relationship with a narcissist. Im not sure though. I been doing a lot of things the wrong way. And im still not sure if maybe he was right and it was my fault. Im writing my story right now. I never did. And things come back i forgot about. I will post it later. Its kind of a long story but i hope someone reads it.

May 19, 2017 - 3:41am

New User

Hello Everybody my name is kavya I am new here

April 19, 2017 - 9:21am

I'm new/ I have not responded to my narc in 17 days

Hi...I'm new. Nobody in my life knows my whole true story. I've been living a lie for so long.
It started in 2009 when I met my HS sweetheart for lunch in Philadelphia. That was the beginning of the end of my life. He and dated in HS....then again in our 20s. Then we parted ways and married other people. I should add that in HS ...he had a steady girlfriend.....I was his side girl. And in our 20s....he cheated on me.
In 2009 we met for lunch in Philly. I was in Philly visiting my sister and staying away from my husband. I was separated with 2 children but still living in the same house with my husband in florida. I was planning on moving into my moms condo in fl. As soon as she moved out.
Anyway...as soon as I met up with my narc...I fell in love instantly. I believed my fairytale came true. However...he was married....and he claimed that he was separated.....he wasn't....not even close.
We talked and texted everyday. When I returned to Florida...he flew to see me every 2 weeks. I told him that we needed to live closer....and that I was ready to move up north. He said ok....and that he would live with me. But when I moved with my children to an apartment in Philadelphia.....he said he couldn't move in with me because it was too far from work. ( he works in NYC and was still living in long island with his wife) . while he was visiting me in Florida...he made many promises of a future with me....and that he was going to leave his wife. However..I found out that he went to Vegas on vacation with his wife. And his wife called me and told me that they were very much married and to stay away from him. I tried so hard....but he kept chasing after me...and I always have in. I was and still am weak when it comes to him. Anyway...he continued to visit me every other weekend while I was in Philadelphia. I kept demanding that he leave his house and wife. He kept promising he would....later to find out that his wife had to kick him out because he refused to leave. Then he rented a basement apartment in long island and still refused to move in with me because I lived in Philadelphia. So....finally...I demanded that we get married and live together. He hesitated a great deal...then he proposed on valentines on a cruise....the same nite Whitney Houston died. I immediately planned my wedding. It was the happiest I ever remember being. I loved the whole planning part of the wedding. I wanted a beach wedding in the same resort we always went to in the beginning. He paid for everything I wanted...dress....flowers....every detail. However...I ran into a problem with my divorce. My lawyer got into a motorcycle accident and lost his leg. This was sad....and it also delayed my paperwork for my divorce. I told my narc....and he said that his divorce was delayed as well because of issues with assets. But my divorce was legitamatly delayed....not his. He was lying. We had our ceremony..,,and returned to our new home in NJ.
The following 4 years were hell for me and my children. My narc was always miserable and difficult to please. I had my first nervous breakdown because of him.,,,before our wedding in 2010. Then I was back in the hospital one year after our wedding due to his emotional abuse and silent treatments. I kept questioning him about his divorce and he kept saying......not yet...not yet....there's too much money involved. However...I found out that he had been divorced for a year...and never told me. I also discovered emails he was sending his ex wife begging her to take him back....and how miserable he was with me and my kids and that I was crazy. She refused to take him back. And when I confronted him about the emails...he said that he wasn't going to leave me....and that he was just feeling scared. Finally...I said that he promised to marry me officially and if he didn't...that I would leave. We planned a wedding for new years eve 2015. But he backed out. So....early 2016...I threatened to leave if he didn't marry me. So he told me to leave. But I got scared....and said I would agree to no marriage and stay...but told me to leave anyway....but that we would stay in the relationship and work things out. I had another breakdown....I was already extremely depressed...and ended up in the hospital again. When I recovered...,I moved out...but kept seeing him....whenever he felt like seeing me. I knew there was someone else. And he treated me like garbage. He said that he would see me every weekend and move in with me...but that never happened. We spent my birthday together in the hamptoms. My. For a Halloween ball. We go every year. My bday is Halloween and its my favorite holiday. Anyway...,the morning after the party...I discovered everythi g about his lover....and her fb profile pic.,,,was of her face with my narc laying in her bed. And I found out that they became soul mates on December 6 2012....just 3 months after our wedding. So I stopped seeing him...and went no contact since my bday 2016...I posted all the intimate pictures of himself and his lover...all over fb and I told all his family....and they were disgusted by him....especially those that grew to love me....then... He hoovered me late December 2016.....and I agreed to try again in the end of Jan 2017. And he destroyed me,...he made beautiful promises of change...,and was so humble and remorseful. I fell for it...but quickly...he changed....and began abusing me...gas lighting....,silent treatment.....his dating fb profile went up...and I had found a condom under his bed. The last time we spoke...he ripped me apart..,and bashed me for going out with friends and other men when I left him...and he said FU...,FOR TELLING MY MOTHER...FU...FOR TELLING MY FAMILY....AND FU.,..FOR POSTING THE PICS ....AND FU FOR AIRING OUT OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY. Then he sent me a goodbye song. I didn't hear from him for a few days....and he has been calling everyday...leaving messages...and texting me...saying that he's sorry and misses me and that he loves me. But he never says he wants to get back together. He emailed his flight itinerary to me.,..for his trip to Florida to see his parents because he says they are not well. But I did not respond. His mom and I are e extremely close....and he says that he cannot tell her that we broke up,,,so that I shouldn't call to tell her that we did because she is not doing well. But I did not respond. He called me from the airport and said his mother told him that I told her he was dealing drugs, that's ridiculous. I would never do something like that. I have not responded. I don't know what to do now. I think he is planning to hurt me badly.
This is my whole truth....nobody knows my story. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

Hssweethurt

January 12, 2017 - 6:07am

Tech support and PM

Hi Goldie, I don't seem to be able to PM you about a tech issue. I've posted a new topic on the All About Him forum under the title Jealousy and dealing with Mutual Friends, but unless I'm logged in I can't see my post which makes me worried no one else can see it either. Please could you assist me? Many thanks.

January 13, 2017 - 3:27pm (Reply to #22)

Hi LJ

I am able to see your post. Sometimes it takes a few for it to show up for everyone. To PM you click on my name anywhere you see it and then choose message OR you may go to MY ACCOUNT on the top right of the page and choose messages and when you write a new message, add my name manually. Let me know if this works for you.
Goldie xo

November 1, 2014 - 1:01am

The 6 Steps

Hi,

I'm new, and I'm a bit confused. I just joined and realized I was able to download the six steps PDF with my membership.

Is it the same at the book The Path Forward? Or It's all About Him? Which of those books should I purchase first?

Thanks!

April 18, 2014 - 6:18pm

Help with Login

Hi - I'm sorry, but I can't find the appropriate place to look for help. It seems I have had so much trouble lately with log-ins, password resets, etc. I now can not log in from my home computer or cell phone. I get a message stating that I've been banned. I drove the whole way to my office to see if I could log in here and, yes this is the only place I can log on without any problems. Can an adminstrator please send me an email to the email associated with my account and tell me how I can fix the problem. I was really looking foward to reading some blogs, etc. this weekend.

March 16, 2014 - 4:41pm

I'm new to this site.

Just wanted to say hello from the UK.
I've read so many of your stories on here and can relate to so many. I subscribed so I could finally put down my thoughts and fears. I'm having a few bad days at present so I thought it would make me feel better to write things down. I've put my story on here but reading it back I can see that although it looks like an essay I've missed so much out. I hate this man for what he's done to me or do I just hate myself for allowing him to do it to me???

February 20, 2014 - 12:49am

I may have set a record for breakups.....

I am so glad I found this site. I finally left my NH after 8 years of a horrible marriage. Almost 1 1/2 years ago he told me he wanted a divorce and I suddenly was panicked and wanted to work on our marriage. I went to counseling on my own. He refused. I had no idea he was a narcissist. Over the next year and a half he engaged in the push pull- i love you go away we all have come to know. I had no idea why chalked it up to a bad childhood and fear of intimacy now it is all so clear. Are they all made from the same mold or what? I caught him texting other women, hitting on other women at bars, pictures of him and other women in his phone and somehow he always begged my forgiveness and I gave in. I loved his line saying he could not commit to me. Ummmm...we are married you jack a*&. I wish I could go no contact but with a child involved I have to do limited contact. He still does not know I am serious about it being over. I filed for divorce on 12/18 and he cried to me about how it woke him up only to do the same push away again. I am finally happy and know that I need to get rid of him for good. I honestly don't want him anymore. I am ready to move on to someone that can give me the love I deserve. I am so grateful I found this website and you awesome group of ladies. Planning on joining a support group here and hope to get to know you all better!

March 26, 2017 - 10:53am (Reply to #17)

Update

Hi. I hope you are still on this site. I was wondering 3 years later, how you are doing. I was hoping to hear there is light at the end. Thanks

February 3, 2014 - 2:12pm

And on we go........

Hello and thank you for the welcome. I shared my story last night after a horrible weekend just reading and reading and have to say all day today I have been triggering so many thoughts from my past. All old hurts being relived over and over again. Different people same hurts, is this a normal reaction? Sometimes there is a glint that I will survive just as I have survived always but this feels different and the emotions are overwhelming and confusing. I almost feel detached from the N as I look over his shoulder and see this queue of guys with the same scripts......and there is my father too.

I am going to sign off now and get some rest - already the site has helped and there are a lot of very brave people on here sharing their stories and I am grateful.

With hugs x

January 16, 2014 - 4:55pm

I feel blessed and cursed all at once.

Blessed to have found this site and finally get some understanding of what I have been dealing with for the past 3 yrs and cursed to realize that....well....I have been dealing with this for the past 3 yrs. *sigh*

February 20, 2014 - 12:51am (Reply to #14)

could be worse cherishreallove

I was seperated for 3 years from my NH! Be happy 3 years is nothing. I have friends who were married for 25 years to a N. :)

December 31, 2013 - 7:59am

Finally figured it out. . .

Thank you so much for this site. This will sound stupid, but it has taken me almost 12 years to figure out what went wrong with an extremely painful relationship I had for 6 months in 2000-2001. I started doing some refresher studies on narcissism because of a bullying boss at work when it began to dawn on me that perhaps the reason the relationship was so bad and so short-lived was because she was a narcissist. In some of my studies I ran into this site and began reading some of the posts. And it all clicked. There are some things, even after 12 years I am still angry about, but at long last, the pain and guilt is gone, and this site was the magic bullet that did it.

What a great resource!

May 28, 2013 - 12:07pm

Change my post

Hi Goldie:

Your really do ROCK !! Can you please change the location of my post. It was intended as a new topic and not a relpy to a comment.

thank you so much for all you do.....

May 17, 2013 - 10:34am

Hi

Cannot find the link to sign up for the support group

May 17, 2013 - 10:41am (Reply to #9)

allesandra

Look on the left and you will see goldie's blog, or you can message goldie and set it up with her..

Well done.

May 17, 2013 - 10:43am (Reply to #10)

Found

It and I see its 149$ when is the next session please?sorry I'm new here can't seek to find anything

October 26, 2012 - 4:42pm

He just stopped talking to me

Hello,

I believe I am dealing with a Narc. This man spent alot of money to find me. 31 years ago, we lived together for four years. We were young and it did not work. I always loved and missed him. When he contacted me, I was soooo happy. We talked and sent pics and videos, caught up with our lives, I had a young son that was not his, but he helped me raise, who is a grown man now. They started talking and my son said he felt an instant connection. Because we had a routine, he called me every morning, I called at night and we went to sleep together every night on the phone. Oh we are in different states. Very far away from each other. He sent for me and the visit was magical. We contiuned on with our relationship, he said he wanted me to move there in his first phone call, I wanted to wait a little while. I bought a plane ticket to go visit again, during a work break and he seemed so excited. A couple of nights went by without hims answering my nightly calls, and when he did call me back on the third night, while outside walking his dog. He seemed as if he was rushing to get me off of the phone, So I said is everything okay, we are so far away from each other, and I am feeling distance. He screamed and said you don't ask a grown man why he doesn't answer his phone and I said well we have a routine, so I keep calling. Anyway, the call ended with him telling me off and him saying that I was the one arguing. He hung up and did not answer my calls, text, or emails, or my sons calls. I canceled my plane ticket and sent him the cancellation. This was two months ago, and I have not tried to contact him and he has not contacted me. I am trying to be strong, I have loved this man for over 30 years. I see on hear that I need to be prepared for him to come back, but how can someone so cold want to come back? And how do I prepare myself for it. Again he is long distance. Please help me, I am in a great deal of pain.
Thanks

October 27, 2012 - 6:57am (Reply to #7)

WELCOME!

YES WELCOME TO THIS SITE!

I am very happy you have found this site. It has helped me tremendously as I am sure it be very to you as well. Read all you can in here as well as Lisa's books and the favorite link at the top of steps 1 - 3 section and you will be on your way towards healing!

Blessings, Petite

May 14, 2012 - 8:11pm

Thank you

It is a pleasure to meet you all I love the sight.

May 14, 2012 - 2:31pm

Thanks, Goldie

I am thinking about the support group; Trying to decide if we can afford the money. If it would speed things up, it would be worth it, I am sure.

-- Emmy

May 14, 2012 - 7:48pm (Reply to #4)

Yes, do your best to make it a priority

Well worth it, The members are doing great who are in the support groups. We have two running now and another beginning shortly. We go over all the hurdles of new recovery and it is a wonderful safe place to connect with other members.

God bless,
Goldie

May 14, 2012 - 8:42am

Wonderful post, Goldie

Welcome to all the new members. I think you will find this website to be extremely helpful to your healing.

Like Hunter says too...healing takes work. Patience with self, and work. Use the time you're NC to really look inside yourselves as to areas YOU need to change, so you don't fall for any future narcs or ever take your prior one(s) back ever again.

Good luck...this is not a race, it's a journey. We care about you. ((hugs))

May 14, 2012 - 7:44am

Please read.. I see many

Please read.. I see many questions today that have been answered several times..

Don't be lazy .. Healing requires work...

Hunter

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