Co-parenting with a Narcissist

2 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 February 1, 2017 - 5:08pm

Co-parenting with a Narcissist

I have been divorced for 4 years from a narcissist. We have joint custody of the kids but he still refuses to work together when life gets in the way of the official calendar. He refuses to share the holidays with the kids or even put together a parenting plan because that would give him less room to still manipulate me. I am about to take him back to court to get a parenting coordinator involved and hopefully get things set up. Any advice on how to deal with him during this court session would be greatly appreciated.

February 7, 2017 - 6:56pm

Court mediation and preparation; facing a narcissist in court

Honestly I would have to know more about your particular situation and narcissist to offer a response. I offer personality disorder related court and mediation preparation sessions where I walk you through the process and help to keep you focused on what you what and need as opposed to what he does and says. A general rule of thumb which is key, not letting them get under your skin. Easier said than done, however you are in control here now regardless to how you feel when you are in his presence. Document all communication, force him to speak via email and text, this way you begin to take control over the situation. Talking on the phone is to be kept to a minimum if at all and only speak of the child and nothing more. Regardless to what he says, do not respond to it on the phone, ignore it and stay focused. if he refuses to stay on topic, say you need to go and end the call. By keeping it to the written word this teaches YOU how to remain focused and centered and if he starts his antics in print, you simply ignore them and stay on point and have a nice paper trail of the true him if you ever need to prove your case regarding the real him. Some narcissist refuse to comply and there you have it, your honor he is not responding to my emails or texts. This is just some of what we go over in sessions. Additionally when in open court no matter what he does or says, remain calm and always have your lawyer respond and and if you are required to respond, always address the judge, never ever address him. If he says you are a two bit whore. lying drug addicted lousy mother, you ignore him like he is not there and remain calm. This will drive him crazy which is what you want, you want him to show the judge who he is and who you are. He will be trying to push your buttons every step of the way, don't forget, he knows you well and how to do this. YOU need to change the script in court. Save your tears, anger, and defensiveness for before and after your court appearance. Think of court as a stage and you are one of the players on display and all eyes are on you and him and whoever acts the craziest loses. The best way to diffuse a narcissist is to allow them to act crazy by ignoring him. Judges for the most part have no time for drama in the courtroom and regardless to who is right, they are watching you and looking towards each of your behaviors to determine who it telling the truth. I have seen the victim lose because they lost their cool in front of the judge and the narc was calm. See your honor, she is nuts. This is NOT going to be you. This is the most important thing to remember. Dress the part and act the part. You are best mother of the year and a great wife; he is nuts. Judges do not know you, you have a small window to show them who you are.

Together and strong,
Goldie xo

Log in or register to post comments