Are Narcissists Evil? Or simply not thinking about you at all ?

Personally I believe:

Some people prefer to see the narc as evil, rather than the truth, which is, they don't give a damn about you, your wants, or your feelings. Using you and not caring about you is not the same thing as evil.

It may FEEL like evil to you because you want more.

I also don't believe too much in ST.

Again. I believe that calling it ST is a comfort to you.

Pretending he is away to punish you, when the reality is most of the time, if the narc is not with you he is doing something else. Narcs require supply.

Sure they may pout for a few, though not nearly as long as you think they do.

Most of them have a big smile on their face as they are texting OW while storming out of your house. That would be a more accurate description of what they do.

There are evil people sure and I have talked with people who have been with them. Just not ALL of them we hear about on here.

Using you if you allow this, is not the same thing as evil.

Most of them if you TRULY shut down the lines of communication go on to OS, with the occasional random Hoover.

Unless you are dealing with a stalker, most of them fade away, if YOU stop engaging and you only hear from them if they want something or are looking for a status update.

Using you is using you. Narcs use people.

Narcs are selfish and self serving.

They may receive a buzz over watching you suffer, they don't like to see you doing better than them. They are petty and small minded. Many have zero respect for women and envy other men.

It's a mixed bag. Some are sex addicts. Drug addicts, psychopaths, and so on. Narcissism is the baseline. The rest of it, are add ons.

If it helps you to sleep to call him evil. If this is what you see. Then by all means do so.

Me, I see that as keeping the buzz alive.

Where we see evil. We create evil. You give him all your power.

If you see him as non existent then he becomes so.



My experience and what hurt the most was, they only wanted me when they wanted something from me, other than that, I was virtually dead to them. My father and so on.

If insecure. This translates to unlovable; unworthy.

We don't like to feel this, so we make excuses or place blame, on us or them, as opposed to getting OUT.

Thus the dance of the toxic relationship.

So sure calling them evil to some, may be an easier pill to swallow than saying, he did not love me. I did not matter or was not important to this person. Was used by this person and then discarded.

I believe once we fully get this. We are free.

So now, when someone does not appear to care about me. My go to place is not unworthy or un loveable, it is more, oh, this person does not appear to be much of a giver and I make my choice accordingly.

Schedule a personalized one on one with Goldie, join one of Goldie's Support Groups, and speak with Goldie directly,

December 29, 2013 - 8:49pm
Rora's picture

My go-to mantra this week

December 17, 2013 - 9:47am
MyTurnToBeFree's picture

So True

December 14, 2013 - 5:50pm
2manyofthem's picture

my mom used to say the

December 16, 2013 - 9:57am (Reply to #17)
Goldie's picture

Yes, what you describe works for some

January 9, 2014 - 3:05am (Reply to #19)
StrongasDandelion's picture

Fantastick -thank you Goldie !

January 9, 2014 - 3:05am (Reply to #18)
StrongasDandelion's picture

Fantastick -thank you Goldie !

December 5, 2013 - 10:19pm
Luv2bme's picture

I understand..., yet,

November 22, 2013 - 9:41am
Phoenyx's picture


November 24, 2013 - 12:47pm (Reply to #14)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Great blog, as always, Goldie!!!

November 22, 2013 - 5:11am
SECM1968's picture

When you finally understand

November 21, 2013 - 7:03am
Janie53's picture


November 21, 2013 - 2:57am
Quixotic's picture

Reprehensible Works Just Fine

November 20, 2013 - 9:21pm
ZanShin's picture


November 20, 2013 - 3:26pm
shazza060969's picture


December 17, 2013 - 11:56am (Reply to #8)
MissH's picture


November 20, 2013 - 3:35pm (Reply to #7)
Goldie's picture

Thank you Shazza

November 20, 2013 - 2:18pm
Laci423's picture


November 20, 2013 - 3:38pm (Reply to #5)
Goldie's picture

Exactly Laci

November 20, 2013 - 11:11am
Used's picture


November 20, 2013 - 3:38pm (Reply to #1)
Goldie's picture

Thank you Used

November 20, 2013 - 5:42pm (Reply to #2)
Heartbroken78's picture

My dad was a narcissist a

November 20, 2013 - 5:57pm (Reply to #3)
Goldie's picture