how do you cope with the idea that most Ns are male?

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#1 Jul 21 - 10PM
Trixy
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how do you cope with the idea that most Ns are male?

I really feel like I am going insane. Most of what is written about Ns refers to men, and there is of course the reality that perfectly healthy women may be labelled crazy the moment they express any kind of emotion which is not approved of by the men in their lives. So I feel very unsafe labelling my xPD "crazy" (I rarely use that word) and yet I need to deal with what I am going through in an honest way. I just read up a bit on "gaslighting" and everything I read talks about it being used to make women feel like they are crazy, when they are not. I think my x was an expert gaslighter, but her lines to me were always : "you are making me feel like I am crazy." And she would say: "Why can't I just express how I feel?" "You seem to think you know who I am, who are you to sit in judgement of me?". I once replied to that one that I had no idea who she was and neither did she, well, that didn't go down too well. I am coming to terms with the fact that essentially everything that came out of that woman's mouth was projection, but I am really struggling with feeling that I have no right to feel what I do, that she was just a fragile woman expressing her feelings and I am the aggressor who is now writing her off as a crazy B. The fact that I am a woman too may make that more pertinent, but maybe not. How do the men on here deal with that? Thanks for reading xx

Sep 22 - 12PM
Goldie
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I'm not so sure that they are

Jul 24 - 4AM
Valentinian
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Hi Trixy

Jul 24 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
Trixy
Trixy's picture

Thanks V

Jul 24 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
Valentinian
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Exactly