Withholding sex/intimacy

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#1 Apr 14 - 3PM
Brave
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Withholding sex/intimacy

Do they all do this? Did anyone here have great sex with the N on a regular basis?

The withholding was one of the main issues that really pissed me off. Of course it didn't start out that way. In the beginning it was full on, passionate and she appeared to have a high sex drive then it became less frequent. We broke up for about 3 months then got back together, that's when the withholding began, it just didn't happen and I always felt like I couldn't initiate it. She came up with some pretty lousy excuses (I'm a girl by the way, it was a same sex "relationship"):

1. She was tired.

2. Her dog was "clingy" and suffered with "separation anxiety" therefore she couldn't not be in the same room as the dog and it had to be with us all the time. It even slept in the same bed. I suspect she used the dog to prevent sex from happening as it would get jealous and bark if we began making out. (however in the beginning she had no problem leaving the dog in another room for a while!)

3. She had "intimacy issues". Apparently the sex would feel different with me, more "loving and personal" and therefore she wasn't used to it.

However there were times when she would tease while we were making out, lead me up to a certain point and then withhold and blame it on the dog! She would also tell me how some of her past relationships were "all about the sex", this would make me feel insecure and inferior to her exes. We broke up again but remained "friends" and occasionally she would still try and frustrate me sexually, she even told me that she liked to "wind me up". In the end I told her that she must not be attracted to me in that way, she didn't disagree. Fair enough if she didn't find me sexually attractive but the teasing got on my nerves. I've heard it's a common tactic with N's but I found it confusing as I thought sex would be great supply for them?

Anyone else have a similar experience?

Apr 24 - 12AM
ChickyD
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Hi Brave, I'm also in a same

Apr 17 - 10AM
unbreakable
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Sex and intimacy are

Apr 17 - 1PM
Sickofhim
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This issue is very painful for me

Apr 15 - 3PM
Brave
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Thank you for all your

Apr 15 - 6PM (Reply to #31)
ZanShin
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This must hurt so much

Apr 16 - 6AM (Reply to #33)
Brave
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Thanks vlnvlaprof :) This is

Apr 16 - 10AM (Reply to #36)
Alissa
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Brave

Apr 16 - 8AM (Reply to #34)
Pinkjoe78
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My ex narc would do similar

Apr 16 - 9AM (Reply to #35)
Brave
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Pinkjoe you deserve and will

Apr 15 - 6PM (Reply to #32)
Pinkjoe78
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Well said!! I will keep

Apr 15 - 6PM (Reply to #29)
Deidre99
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This website doesn't only

Apr 16 - 3AM (Reply to #30)
Brave
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I have been looking into

Apr 15 - 1PM
hope29
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Its just brought back so many

Apr 15 - 9AM
Journey
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Hi Brave (great user name!).

Journey on...

Apr 15 - 6PM (Reply to #26)
Pinkjoe78
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My ex narc was the same!! I'm

Apr 15 - 9AM
Deidre99
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I had a ldr with my ex and

Apr 15 - 9AM (Reply to #23)
Journey
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Two years ago D99? My how

Journey on...

Apr 15 - 3PM (Reply to #24)
Deidre99
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Time flies when we r having

Apr 15 - 2AM
Stand.STRONG
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completely relate

Apr 15 - 12AM
Alissa
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Yes, the N liked to 'wind me

Apr 15 - 1AM (Reply to #19)
Brave
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Alissa the whole winding up

Apr 15 - 10PM (Reply to #20)
Alissa
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Thanks Brave!! yes it's very

Apr 14 - 7PM
doggirl
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had some of the same issues too

Apr 15 - 8AM (Reply to #16)
ZanShin
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Different guy, same behavior

Apr 15 - 9AM (Reply to #17)
PattiLCS
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LOL...same thing with "the

Apr 15 - 5AM (Reply to #15)
PattiLCS
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My N would RARELY stay at my

Apr 14 - 5PM
Pinkjoe78
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Yes it's a major issue! I

Apr 14 - 5PM
Deidre99
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Truth is this....narcs get

Apr 14 - 4PM
truthseeker
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Brave

Apr 14 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
AprilD
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I could have been a tree too