It's funny how this topic probably makes me the most angry out of anything he's done...not him leaving suddenly, or arguing, or criticising me.
The ST is sheer torture, and they are friggin experts at it, the bastards.
because to THEM - you are nothing, an object - meaningless
they just switch you off like flipping a switch
and if you get mad - that's YOUR FAULT and YOUR PROBLEM! because 'objects' aren't supposed to have feelings!
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Psycho-Boy - as soon as exNH confronted him about our emotional affair? He ABANDONED me for over a month leaving me to deal with the fallout and physical abuse. When Psycho-Boy checked back in all his "you are the most wonderful woman ever" feelings were GONE! POOF!! I should have known then what a sick puppy he was.
Oddly, he took off to another college with no notice 1/2 way through sophomore year... he knew his roommate was smitten with me, didn't want to deal with the abortion I'd had for him or take an responsibility and even denied we'd ever been intimate to his roommate until the last few minutes he was moving out.
His roommate? Turned out to be a sociopath also who dated/ tortured me emotionally & mentally for 2 years after that and tried to physically KILL ME a few times. One of those times? Right after Psycho-Boy admitted we'd be intimate... then the roommate came and threw me into a wall knocking the air out of me...
BOTH times - 27 years apart - when the going got tough - the cowardly Psycho-Boy got going. FAR away from responsibility.
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In the early days the N said to me that disrespect and not sorting out disagreements before going to sleep were not acceptable in a relationship. I certainly agreed with that.
How strange (or not) that later on he became very disrespectful towards me, and when he decided he wasn't going to be drawn further on a subject, he would turn his back on me and give me the cold shoulder until the next morning. Can I take it then that his early statements were projections, giving me an indication (which I did not realise at the time) of what his behaviour would be like in the future.
To be honest, I could tolerate his silent treatment for short periods as I thought it showed him up for the childish moron he actually was. I couldn't stand to be criticized by him as his remarks homed in like poison darts and wounded like nothing else.
Can I take it then that his early statements were projections, giving me an indication (which I did not realise at the time) of what his behaviour would be like in the future.
Yes! Projection exactly!
http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/24/how-tell-what-narcissist
this is childlike! - a TANTRUM with POUTING!
http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/six.html
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I think the word 'childish' is better than 'childlike' Barbara.
'Childlike' suggests innocence, purity and naivity
'Childish' suggests irresponsibity, immaturity and puerile, self-indulgent tantrums
I know which of those my ex is!
http://stoptherollercoaster.blogspot.com/
http://byebyejekyllandhyde.blogspot.com/
http://knittingattheguillotine.blogspot.com/
Very good point Clover18 about their Childish behavior. I wonder if members with child have a better grasp on this concept having raised their own children and saw how a child will react whenever trying to display their own autonomy. Some traits I notice in children are:
Withholding: A child will withhold affection to punish a caretaker
Tantrums: A good age to witness this behavior is when a child is going through their “terrible two’sâ€
Lying: Children learn this at various ages of development.
Well, there's more of course, but we will witness these same traits also in a person who suffers from a personality disorder as well because they have never learned to outgrow this childish behaviors. Many times when my ex would fight with my oldest son, it look like two teenagers fighting and had to remind her that as a parent she needed to take responsibility of the situation and try to find a solution. Of course we all know how that worked out! I often wonder if this was why my oldest saw through her before I even did.
http://james-personalitydisorder.blogspot.com/
you're right - I was just responding to someone else's post.
I know which mine are too! ;)
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panicky feeling
silent treatment
leaving suddenly...
Silent Treatment
his statements were projections!
"almost childlike?"
I think the word 'childish'
http://knittingattheguillotine.blogspot.com/
http://stoptherollercoaster.blogspot.com/
http://byebyejekyllandhyde.blogspot.com/
http://libertyfromlies.blogspot.com/
Good point clover18
Clover18