Their sickiness of their sexual addiction

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Jan 27 - 9AM (Reply to #19)
passionatebutterfly
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Thanks Barbara. There are

Thanks Barbara. There are many similarities to psycho-boy. Sick. I guess I don't care anymore who sees what. I'm not ashamed and refuse to hide. If anything happens, then I will change things. No one can intimidate me :) I'm too strong. Jenny
Jan 27 - 9AM (Reply to #20)
passionatebutterfly
passionatebutterfly's picture

I really should share my

I really should share my story one of these days. It's definitely not as horrible as most of the stories on here mainly beacause I never married him.....thank God. It is so scary to think about the destructive marriage I would have been in and makes me appreciate the loving and adoring husband I have and will never take for granted again. The thought of writing it all out seems so exhausting to me though and I have moved on despite someone trying to pull me back in. I just don't want to go there. It's easier to just add my 2 cents here and there when I read something familiar. I am curious though....did anyone else's N take pics of themselves constantly and send them to you? I remember one in a towel & just out of the shower when he was at a hotel (away from the wife and kiddies!) LOL! He used a lot of the pics he would take of himself as his profile picture on FB. Blatantly put them on there.......and his wife was on his friends list. Wouldn't she think that was weird? How disrespectful is that? He even planted a lime tree in his backyard because I love limes. Then posted pics of it on FB. OMG the things he would do to disrespect his wife. I wish I could go rip out the lime tree....... OK.....I'm going to have to write out my story one of these days. I hope it will help someone. Jenny xoxo
Jan 27 - 11AM (Reply to #21)
passionatebutterfly
passionatebutterfly's picture

Oh yeah.....and he shaved

Oh yeah.....and he shaved everywhere too....balls and all!
Jan 26 - 4AM (Reply to #14)
Kelly
Kelly's picture

Gross

My first ex N asked me if I wanted a shot of "Vitamin-J" (first initial of his name.) If only I could erase every memory of sex with him.
Jan 26 - 8AM (Reply to #15)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

lpnarcmagnet

Psycho-Boy was a big VIAGRA user. Called it Vitamin V. Said it "helped him be with his wife" ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 26 - 8PM (Reply to #16)
Amazed
Amazed's picture

I think that my exN was on that also

He would have a boner sticking straight ahead (yes, straight ahead) while we were walking to get lunch. Um,,really?
Jan 26 - 2AM (Reply to #13)
rache
rache's picture

When sick/or feels bad

Forgot to add that he gets obsessive about masturbating when feeling bad and or sick!
Jan 25 - 10AM (Reply to #10)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

they are sick thats for sure

they like sick sexual thoughts to get aroused, so typical of most of them isnt it? Half the things he always suggested he would ask, wouldnt you like that? I would always say, not really the thought never entered my mind to do such crap I am quite content with just normal sex. But they are serious they make up certain sexual scenes in their minds mine would tell me to talk dirty so he could keep his errection, if I didnt ED would set in, he would have to stick in a porn tape while we were having sex so I am listening to some porn star moaning while we were being intimate, I never even looked at the crap but it was the only way he could maintain his errection, pretending another woman or man was with us in his mind. Not my idea of meaningful sex with someone it was an insult to my sexuality. They are messed up in every respect, they cant even have normal sexual arousal with someone, how would you like to be his GF and live with that crap? Sorry but I prefer my partner to be INTO ME and me alone not some cheap porn star. If he cant be sexually stimulated by me I know there are plenty of healthy men who would be, why waste what I have on some sexual pervert, we are both above such treatment let them go to their whores and prostitutes,
Jan 24 - 11PM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

They are all sick!

My ex N used to be very sexual on the phone sometimes(we had a long distance relationships)He in the USA me in Europe and that started very subtile ,anyways he told me he did watched porn since he was a ittle kid.His older nephews and girlfriends would watch it and he was forced to be watching too as a little kid!Anyway,he wanted to break this habit because made him feel guilty and dirt ...aHe was glad he found me i made him feel that he could be a better man...The first time we met and had sex,he got also ED problems and i am ashamed to say i did everything he wanted me to do with him one on one because i did love this man and i wanted to show him that i was really one with him.(this happenned after me visiting him the firs time from Europe)I told him it wasnt a big deal i was happy to be there with him!The second time 2 days later,we were cuddling ,me in my jeans and t shirt on the couch and then he wants to go further and tells me hurry up otherwise i will lose it(the erection) he told me what position i should take and the whole thing was over in 4 minutes...Then he went into the kitchen telling me that he was glad tis wasnt like some other times that he couldnt keep it up...a day later he told me that he wasnt going to be with me because in order to f****k me he had to think about something else and that i was worst than a Porn Star...i was shocked confused and till this day i cant understand how a person that was your friend,a person i did gave all my support and love and we had areal connection we talked about everything from pc software to poetry ciiking personal problems we did sharre a lot could be treating me like that in 3 days he had turned around 500%...Withdrawing from me playing mind games ,gaming on the PC for 16 hours on the weekend talking about how other woman made him feel like...Push and pull games,i wasnt aloud to touch him even on the shoulder when he was in the kitchen with me he would tell me to take his hands offf him,we slept on the same bed sometimes he would wake me up at night hug me kiss my forehead and turn ariund again...And he was the one that begged me to be and go stay with him at least 3 months(that is what my visa alouds me)I wanted to leave but he told me see you dont get what you want so you are leaving i knew you would let me down you are not my friend...i was confused and broke ,but i left after 2 months also because my health was deteriorating i have diabetes and high blood pressure i was afraid i would not be able to fly back if i stayed longer...This was a man i did love not caring about him not having money or statu,working as a Utility Worker for Public Housing underpaid actually i did respect him a lot coming from the getto and did survive without any criminal activities after being as child physically and sexually abused by people abandoned by his mother who wasa a drug and alcohool abuser he was very intelligent had manners very good with his hands a hard working guy...He had 3 children with his ex GF ,and he was sure she did rather have a white cowboy instead of a black carpenter/construction worker/who wanted somebody to share good conversations and was interested in other cultures etc....And i felt sorry for him...And hhe dumped me ,even told me after i came back to Europe he was thinking how would be to have sex with a man....I hope i will recover,i did love him and i am ashamed of myself...

Aceonelady

Jan 26 - 6AM (Reply to #4)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

aceonelady

Before you came to the states, all that you shared was by means of telecommunications: computers & telephone. This is an intimacy at a "safe" distance. Also, this safe distance allowed this man to communicate with his "fantasy" of the perfect woman. In his sick & twisted mind, you were going to "save him" and everything with you was going to be perfect. You arrive here in the States. Surprise! You are a PERSON and INDIVIDUAL. He freaks because you are not EXACTLY as he IMAGINED you to be. Only what he imagined could save him, make him happy. (No woman can fulfill his fantasy.) But, he cannot understand his own dysfunction. He must blame you. None of what he said makes sense. Stop trying to make sense of what he said or did. It does not make sense because he's nuts, just plain nuts. Call it narcissism, Cluster-B personality disorder, whatever . . . for you & your sanity--a diagnosis of "just plain nuts" explains everything. And, the man is abusive. So sorry for what you suffered.
Jan 27 - 11AM (Reply to #8)
passionatebutterfly
passionatebutterfly's picture

OMG...YES! That's what I

OMG...YES! That's what I try and explain to people. My ex was carrying on with me because I was so far away. I was safe for him. He could mess around with me and still live his family life. he didn't have to see me everyday. Just a few times a month was fine. Then after spending a whole weekend together he completely changed. I called him on it, and the mask came off. I left him! Agnesmurphy17...you wrote the perfect paragraph.
Jan 26 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
fairy wings
fairy wings's picture

Just plain nuts

I really like that, 'just plain nuts'. It makes it so much simpler. I analyse everything and sometimes my sister comes out with simple one liners which suddenly stop me in my tracks and I think,'yeah she's right'. Make it simple. I agree it doesn't matter what label we put on these people. If it feels wrong to us that is enough!
Jan 26 - 6AM (Reply to #5)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

agnesmurphy17

Yes i understand that now but later i heard that this had happenned twice once in 1998 and 1999 with 2 local woman that he had met in real life(once a girl that worked at his bank) he had an affair with her for 6 months while still living in with his children's mother and when they started making plans to live together he dumped her also very suddenly and later with a girl that his mother had introduced to him,and when after 6 months she said she wanted him to move in with her he said yes and one week later he told her no,because he tought she had an attitude problem towards him...And those two he met in his neighborhood...and God knows what else happenned that only he knows!Besides we did exchange hundreds of pics (nothing erotic or retouched by photo shop)And he also told me i look very good in person ,much better than the pictures...You are right ,he is nuts!Thanks for your comment.

Aceonelady

Jan 26 - 7AM (Reply to #6)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Local Women

Even if they are there in the flesh & not on the internet, the fantasies are being projected. And, in the immediate, he was getting something from these women who were immediately there with him. Nevertheless, the core of his personality remained the same . . . some of his behaviors may have varied. He was younger when he was with the children's mother. A first relationship, there were children, hence, his mother & family members involved. This family involvement probably put some breaks on his behavior. The next relationship failed at the point of living together. Seems your relationship failed at the point of living together. This man tortured you, degraded you & humilated you. You were alone, dependent upon him in a foreign country. Such a traumatic experience. The man is evil, pure evil. Try to focus only on yourself. None of what he did makes sense. Senseless acts of cruelty--that's the rationale behind your N.
Jan 25 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

aceonelady

read my story - you're not alone this guy had a major case of Madonna/ Whore syndrome. Lisa & I did a BlogTalkRadio show about it. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 24 - 10PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

depravity

this all stems from them seeing people as OBJECTS. Yes - OBJECTS. All people - all the time! they just MASTURBATE with our bodies. they can't even SEE or ever KNOW how depraved they are. And most of them just do not care. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website