adieu (& pardon my french!)
adieu (& pardon my french!)
I fucking hate you. get the fuck out of my head, will you? I can only imagine what you think of me now. how your sick-ass reptile brain has turned me in to yet another "psycho woman" you've encountered. what a boring, arrogant, entitled fuck you are. but you know that already, deep down. that's why you didn't want me to "get too close"-- not bc you thought I'd fall for you or try to move in on your life, like I had assumed (and was insulted by, bc I was nothing if not terribly discrete and content w my real life). nope. you tried to keep me at arm's length bc you know I am smart as shit, and that even despite my low self-esteem, which "cracks you up," not to mention the thousand miles between us, I'd eventually see through your crappy veneer and discover what a dead-eyed, soulless husk you really are, before you got a chance to stick your ever-roving cock in me one more time. i guess you were right to try.
you've probably commandeered all of the jokes, stories, music and shows i shared with you as your own, since you are completely unoriginal and lacking in depth. everything that is "you" is bought or borrowed, if not stolen. I'm also 99.9% positive that you played me like a big fucking joke to your m@rine buddies-- look at this crazy bitch, she's so into me. god. makes me want to fucking puke. I have no doubt now that the pic you posted on fb, where you are staring intensely at the computer screen with those empty black eyes, while your pal next to you is cracking up, was of you looking at something saucy I wrote or a naked picture of me. or maybe some other chick, even, now that i feel like i understand your sick head a little better. beefing up your ego in front of the guys. you're a real piece of shit.
I can't believe I was so blind to your emptiness. your complete lack of authenticity. your shallow, bland personality. Everything you wrote rang weird and hollow, like you were stupid, even. But for my own kinda fucked up reasons, i doggedly refused to believe that there simply is nothing special about you.
I'm so pissed I spent all that time and energy being nice to you, thinking about you, making you stuff, writing to you. You ought to know (and come to think of it, you probably did, and planned your approach accordingly) that I would've cut out earlier had you not been overseas fighting a war, away from your family. obviously, I have not behaved like the most stand up gal, but I felt too guilty to really let you have it while your life was in imminent danger (because your fragile little ego truly can not handle the venom I have to spit, and you know it). what a pushover. you totally fucking deserved it.
i honestly can't believe I jeopardized my marriage to the best man I've ever known for a shitty, one-sided "friendship," and the prospect of one day getting fucked blandly by you. holy shit. it would have been so disappointing after we'd done it. every time has been.
I always felt so empty and sad after seeing you. I foolishly chalked it up to my own deficiencies. I thought you were just out of my league, that I wasn't good enough for you. hilarious. you are the lamest, dullest, most shallow and materialistic man I have ever known. it's me that's out of your league, I finally fucking realize. i can't believe I wasted so much time thinking otherwise.
you don't know how to process me. your stupid reptile brain can't handle a woman who is smart, kind, good and sexy all in the same package. and I guarantee you that you would not even come close to pleasing me in bed-- not that you care about that. I am a stellar fuck, you piece of shit, and you should know that every single dirty thing I wrote you, that your cock loved so much, was something I had recently done with my awesome, handsome, successful and kind husband. i fuck him like the champion I always imagined you were. except, for real and on the steady. you are frigid and limp dicked, I'll bet. it's not your wife who doesn't want to have sex--it's you! you prefer to jerk yourself off in front of the hollow glow of the computer rather than have to actually connect with a human being. your poor old wife. she must be absolutely miserable. and you've probably made her think it's all her fault too. "she was set on marrying me," you said. you're pathetic. go fuck yourself, "over and over and over," till your pasty red dick falls off.
and oh yeah, i WAS flattering you: you ARE getting old, you ARE going bald-- not so bad if you have a good personality. but you have none--at all!-- except for the occasional short-lived show you put on, and even that needs work. so yeah, growing old is going to be pretty awful for you. fucking die, you miserable troll. I can't believe I fell for your shit.