In Response the question as to how can they get away with this and why do people not see what they have done to us? http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/04/11/putting-out-there
Loving those with a severe Personality Disorder.
You are describing the human condition right now for MOST OF US.
The exploration for more defined definitions and criteria for these disorders is basically a NEW SCIENCE in the world of Psychology. Personality Disorders. EVEN the DSM is confused about all of this and have frequently changed the diagnoisis criteria and labeling. These creatures are popping up like weeds and locusts, so rapidly in the 21st century that EVEN the experts, are struggling to keep up with WHO and WHAT they are. Back in the 50's when my father began his reign of terror, there was no label for what he was. Nor were there many laws to protect my mother and his children from his abuse.
Tracy thurman changed all that and she was nearly beaten to death to do this.
Sure we knew that such evil existed, we thought of them as Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Joran van der Sloot, and perhaps some "crazy kid" who lived down the street from you and was in the court
report in the local newspaper every month or so.
NOW more often than not, they live among us. They are our ministers, our teachers, our lawyers, judges, coworkers, friends, neighbors, and YES our lovers. They are our very own, "Sleeping with the Enemy." http://www.amazon.com/Sleeping-With-Enemy-Nancy-Price/dp/0671629670
Society has simply, NOT caught up with them YET and who they are and what they do and the horrific havoc they are creating today in everyday lives.
Many people just don't GET IT yet. They blame these behaviors on bad parenting, low self esteem, drugs, alcohol, the media, and YES US, they STILL blame US when a perpertrator comes along and nearly destroys our lives.
There are STILL those who blame the victim. Maybe you bitched too much, it was your fault you stepped out of your marriage. you SHOULD have left. Afterall, you stayed, so WHO do you really have to blame. IT was your choice. IT takes two to tango. You made your bed; now lie in it. The list goes on and on and we have heard it all.
This is like addiction was back in the 40's and 50's. They used to lock them up in mental institutions or live in denial, until public awareness was made available through Alcoholics Anonymous in the Saturday Evening Post. http://alcoholism.about.com/library/blmitch18.htm
NOW people get it, they sure as heck did NOT get it back then.
We ARE the pioneers who have suffered from these PD's and we are the one's who will bring about Public Awareness.
People are not going to GET THIS or understand this until it happens to THEM. Once they get a taste of these perps true colors and it is happening to THEM, then it is an entirely different story.
This is when we often hear, I am so sorry, Bgirl, I had NO IDEA what you were going though, I am sorry I was not better support to you.
It's the same thing with any type of pain. Until you have experienced the loss of a child or the death of our Mother; you have no clue. Until you have experienced intense back pain, because you cannot SEE the pain with the eyes, you have no clues.
Until your life, heart, soul, and finances have been compromised by a PD; you have no clue.
We cannot blame these people because they don't understand a relatively new human condition, the condition is not new, however, the vast number of them IS in fact relatively new.
We all on here KNOW how deeply it hurts to go through this and then NOT to be believed OR to have our experience minimized is almost unbearable.
The police often do not take it seriously because many in law enforcement are N's themselves. The N's are such pathological liars that they do often fool therapists, clergy, and even in some case, our family and friends are asking US what we did to provoke this behavior AND of course the N's are telling people that we are nuts.
My X is a severe drug addict, pathological liar, theif, cheat, and his family and boss, to this day think that he is sober and it was ALL my fault. Even when he steals from them, he creates a scapegoat so someone else gets blamed. This happy horseshit can only fly for so long and I know this. His day will come and it will have nothing to do with anything I did. He will cook his own goose.
This is difficult to go through to begin with and then to deal with negative public opionion it is almost the final nail in the coffin.
My X tried to DESTROY my life. The devastation we just about unbearable. Goldie's Story http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2010/06/21/goldies-story
And THEN to have him tell everyone that I was the one. He actually told people that I was insane, a drug addict, and that I made the entire story up. I don't do drugs, lol and my diagnosis is PTSD which does not make me crazy by any stretch. I have a mild form of it. How would they know??? They did not see my depleted bank account. They did not see all the holes and destruction in my house, They did not see the bruises on my body. Even the police never asked me to disrobe. They just wrote in the report: No visible bruises. They did not even ask to see my arms or my legs and the one time he hit my face, I did not leave the house for 2 weeks.
And all this happened in 9 SHORT MONTHS and he was carted off to jail. My life was devasted in 9 months.
And STILL even thougth he did Jail time, there were STILL some uneducated people who thought he was set up or that I was to blame.
BGIRL, for you own survival, You need to find a way to reconcile this in your brain so that you better understand that we cannot blame others for their ignorance.
Surround yourself with those who love you and GET IT and for now, until we can get the word out to the others. TRY to LET THAT part go.
He will offend again; they always do, This does all eventually come out in the wash, it just takes time for their true colors to be revealed. He will do this again, he cannot help himself, it is his nature and when he does, they will ALL remember your story. You did have a voice; you did speak up. He did not completely get away with it because they do know; they just did not want to admit that they know to you.
IT will happen. Look how long it took for the pedophille Catholic Priests to be uncovered. YET they were. A group of BRAVE Boston Globe Reporters blew the whstle on these freaks, headed by Walter Robinson.... http://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-The-Crisis-Catholic-Church/dp/0316776750
AND THEY WERE DONE.
Read that book and tell me that a small group of people cannot make a difference.
One small group of newspaper reporters blew the lid off of a practice which had been going on for centuries. http://www.northeastern.edu/journalism/contact/robinson.html
We are the pioneers, we are going to make a difference. You are part of a group of people here WHO KNOW the way it is and sometimes that is as good as it gets for NOW.
I HAVE MY VOICE BACK and I will not stop until every last one of you are empowered and feeling good about yourselves again and back in ths saddle where you rightfully belong.
It will come my dear Ggirl it just takes time. A full recovery can take a few years depending on the extent of the devastion and for you unfortuantely it hit you hard on ALL LEVELS. The betrayal you experienced was horrendous. I can still remember my reaction when I first read your story. I loved you from day one. There was NO JUDGEMENT coming from me towards you from day one. Because I lived with that type of BETRAYAL since I was a little girl.
Try to embrace that we love you and we get you for today and the rest will come in time.
For additonal support, to join one of our support groups, or to speak with Goldie directly, http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie