Day 3 NC, hurts SOOO bad
Day 3 NC, hurts SOOO bad
Today is day 3 NC and it feels like a milestone day because before I got to day 3 and broke the NC.
I want to read more about when your heart and mind fight each other but cant remember what its called, please can someone help?
I paid to take my hub away for the weekend without kids this weekend so I am really trying to shift my focus. My hub is lovely guys a really special guy, cuddles up to me when I smell, kisses me, tells me he loves me. I feel so guilty, I try to tell myself it was/is an addiction and that I have issues.
I have maintained proper NC...and to be honest I can imagine the abuse waiting on my phone if I dare switch it on so I am not going to. As far as N is concerned I do feel happy in myself that I explained (throughout the relationship) how much he hurt me so I no longer feel the need to contact him. And I know Goldie you said get rid of the phone but by keeping my phone but switched off it feels like I have the control. Please Goldie if you disagree I would like your input.
And its nice to be able to look at hub, at my kids without the guilt of an affair.
My problem now is trying to get over the addiction, when he pops into my head. The lies (I found him out) about his big house, his successful business, his slim wife make me realise he is just a regular guy nothing special. What hurt is that he knew I am spiritual and have no interest in 'how well off someone is'. If he had told me the truth it wouldnt have mattered to me. But the lies eat away at my very soul, if you can lie about those things without blinking you can lie about anything.
So for me on day 3 its about getting over the addiction.
In the UK you have to wait for doctor prescribed counselling, I had my assessment and am now waiting for a date. They told me two months which means mid Feb but I am going to chase it up with my doctor. I cant afford to go private at the moment with all the bills so thats not an option.
I feel withdrawal anxious feelings, for me its working through those x
I think the term you're
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