My story by Snowflake Part 1..the hook

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#1 Jan 17 - 8AM
Snowflake
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My story by Snowflake Part 1..the hook

I am married with two children. I guess after 22 years together marriage enters a comfortable stage, maybe too comfortable and I took hub for granted. Started to feel like something was missing. I saw a website for married people and curiosity got the better of me. It was free to join for women.

Here enters the N.

Sends me a message saying if I want a finger buffet to carry on chatting to the others but if I am looking at gourmet then here he was. He did not live near me so I replied and said sorry babe you dont live near me but look at what you could have won and sent the password for my pic.

He replied and said he had his own business and not to jump to conclusions about where he could travel to, that at this stage he wasnt interested in what I looked like only my intellect. This intrigued me.

I looked at his profile and it said he loved to banter, was a martial arts instructor, took pride in his appearance.

I offered to give him my number and he said yeah but only if you arent f,ing stupid and start sending like 30 texts a day. We prob shared over 200 texts that night.

The next day he said he had looked at my pic, that I was a bit of a munter (ugly) but nothing a bag wouldnt sort out. But that I was intelligent and thats what mattered. I laughed it off, took it to be banter. I knew I didnt take a good photo but that people have often said I am nice looking so I just smiled at the surprise he would get when he met me (big headed I know but trying to be honest here).

So shortly after he goes to Italy without wife on business, he must have called me 3 times a day at least and lots of texts. He said I made him feel wanted. Anyway wife joins him for last two days of trip and he carries on sneakily texting and calling. Italy went on strike and lots of flights were cancelled. We were due to meet a few days later, I spent hours looking at alternative flights and texting him. He said W had sat by pool and been miserable and he loved how I cared, couldnt wait to get back to see me. I said I just wanted him back home with me.

To be continued...

Jan 17 - 12PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

What is it your looking for

What is it your looking for from this sicko? I worry that one day your husband may have to come and identify you when this monster has had enough of you. He says you should have a bag over your face and openly declares himself to be abusive. Before youve even met him? He then practically rapes you violently and you go home licking your wounds What are you looking for from him ?? Im afraid you may find that he declared his intentions at the start, and they are to chew u up and spit you out . Youre worth more really. Start giving yourself more value. As women we really should think about how much we are enabling these creeps. Put your childrens faces before you. When you are next tempted to go out to play with him. This is very dangerous . To him you are an object. Stay on the forum youll get support here.
Jan 17 - 12PM (Reply to #12)
Snowflake
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I am enabling and need to stop ...Part 3

So I am scared, I tell him about the bruises, he said we both got in the zone, what the f do you want me to do..I did not know you bruise easily. I said I know you cant do anything but I just want some support, I am worried as I have a huge bite mark on my arse and on my side and they look like bite marks. He said we need to stop seeing each other then because we dont know that it wont happen again. It goes a little quiet then he starts telling me he loves me he doesnt know what to do about it. Its hard to remember but a few weeks pass during which I remember insecurity, some highs, lows, silent treatment, abusive names and yeah I know...I agree to meet him again. This time rough sex with him licking my face etc telling me to look at him but no bruises. Anal sex which was new. He played music in between and I felt truly loved and in the moment. To be continued...
Jan 17 - 11AM
Sparrow
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Sorry, just referenced your

Sorry, just referenced your other post. I realize you are no longer with the narc.
Jan 17 - 11AM
Sparrow
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That is what I suspected. I

That is what I suspected. I am curious to know, are you still with your husband? Your narc? Both? Are you looking to recover or looking for information to determine whether he is a narc or not? Sounds to me like he is.
Jan 17 - 9AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Hook, line and

Hook, line and sinker........early on. He is a pro. This is what he does every waking moment of his life. I hope you got away from him and that is why you are here. He is toxic and plowing through multiple women. Daily I might add. Stay away from him, I can already see where this is leading. He is unhealthy. Looking forward to reading part 2.
Jan 17 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
Snowflake
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Part 2 - thanks Sparrow

So he gets back from Italy with a few days to spare before we meet. We havent met before so discuss the various options about what if we are not attracted. Almost immeadiately the emphasis is on whether he will find me attractive or not and done deal that I will like him. We decide to meet in a pub with a room booked and will take it from there. The day of the meet. I spend ages getting ready and look gorg even if I say so myself lol... Size 10, long dark hair, petite..hm what to wear! Decided casual so went with black jumper, denim dark blue/black skirt and suede knee high boots. Drove to the pub, recognised him straight away as he has no hair (9 years older than me and I look young for my age). Wasnt instantly attracted but as soon as he spoke I was there. We had a drink then moved upstairs. The sex was exciting but rough. At one stage I pushed him because he made a comment, just joking but he lost his balance and banged his head. He came at me grabbed my arms and said ever do that again you will know about it...very softly in my ear. I am married. That night I went home and didnt realise I was full of bruises and bite marks. Managed to cover up. They were pretty bad and took two weeks to go. To be continued...
Jan 17 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
Snowflake
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Still with hub

Back in contact with N, broke no contact today :(
Jan 17 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
Sparrow
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Oops.........I spoke too

Oops.........I spoke too soon. You broke NC? Are you going to continue to be in touch with him?
Jan 17 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Reliving the story is soooo hard

I forget things, or the order of things... some random things that come to mind.. he went away on a stag do to Hull staying overnight, he is nearly 49 the others were younger, I was on a birthday outing with a group of girls in Manchester on the same night but going home later, he taunted me about pretty girls on text, said he would text later and didnt, again left me wondering what was happening.. then the next day text me to say some lads had girls back in their rooms but he didnt...double bluff..who knows but I thought thats awful and felt sick about it. another time he said his wife found out he had been on the site as he had left his email on and all hell broke loose, he had to leave would I make a decision etc...hm he is still there a few months later and says his wife had major op he could not leave..slept with wife since though... another time he did not contact me for a while then said he had had two mini strokes did not want to talk. another time he wanted an overnight meet..as it fitted in with his wife being away..it was bonfire night weekend, a big family get together for us, there was no way. He said ok out with the lads then, he went to the gym in the morning talked about preening himself and I wasnt happy as he was waiting to find out what was wrong (the strokes). I thought he was shallow and told him so. I got the silent treatment all weekend and was devastated as I knew wife was away..made me wonder what he was doing. throughout our time he made out he was rich and successful, big house in the country with no neighbours, model wife, successful business, fast cars... I checked house on google earth its a normal house on a busy street, checked wife she is overweight, dont know about the business as he only has to file minimal accounts (guessing not that great though from what I can tell being an accountant)and the way he went on about his car when we met...Alfa Romeo..nice car but me and hub had one seven years ago so the story he gave about this being a run around by accountant recommend is not true as it guzzles fuel for fun. Its his prize car...which is fine just dont make out you are something you are not!!!!
Jan 17 - 4PM (Reply to #8)
bgirl
bgirl's picture

This is M with a slightly

This is M with a slightly different MO and different setting but all the same manipulation tools in play. Remember what I told u about me. Plz don't be me. Try to get help. Pull up stumps and never look back. X B
Jan 17 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Other things while I am on a rant

I am a munter (ugly) I am a loony (he knows I am due for counselling but not why) I need help I am fat (I was a sizde 10 uk put on weight with comfort eating but still not fat) My fanny (pussy) needs tightening I need to loosen up in bed My hub cant fuck like he can I am boring He cant be arsed with me
Jan 17 - 4PM (Reply to #7)
bgirl
bgirl's picture

Snowflake, it is great that

Snowflake, it is great that you r writing...post it all on here. You need to get it out so you can have people reinforce to you this is going to destroy you...:( PM me when ur on k. B