The "Trade", The "OW", The "Newer Supply"
The "Trade", The "OW", The "Newer Supply"
I see lots of posts from individuals who are trying to grasp how the Narc could move so quickly. How could he/she trade us for someone else. Inevitably, this leads to comparisons...the trade is either better or worse: better (or worse) educated, better (or worse) job, better (or worse) looking etc. etc.
As part of the wooing process and oftentimes throughout or relationship....the Narc is telling us things that set up comparisons. We are better than the other supplies he has had in the past, we are better understanding, we are more fulfilling, we are better sexually, we are more attractive etc. etc. but this is simply setting us up for the fall that comes when the Narc finds other supply and discards us. Then we start to wonder what she/he has that we don't which inevitably leads to us either getting angry at the new supply or getting sad with ourselves.
But what if we could just let go of the comparisons...what if we could simply accept the fact that with the Narc, it's all about supply and that is it. Whether that supply comes with some extra cash or a thinner body or a Yale diploma...they are simply supply that is to be used and then discarded. The point is that while our focus is squarely on the new, better, worse, different, OW/OM, supply....we aren't able to really process through what we need to in order to move forward and find ourselves again. The other supply is inconsequential to our recovery. Hunter and Goldie and Used (and others) have said that over and over again, but it bears repeating.
The truth: You are all beautiful/handsome, wonderful, caring, unique, creative, thoughtful human beings who deserve to give love and have it returned fully. Who the Narc chooses to move forward with does not change the above statement in the least (and if you need to, write it down and stick it on your mirror..you can even put that TNR1 said it, so it must be true!!).
Here is wishing that everyone grasps their inner beauty and lets go of the comparisons.
HUGS
I am going to reread that a
I really needed to hear that,
TNR1
I have had a very hard
Thank you
Nothing will ever be enough
My narc seems to be able to
Thank you for this...I needed
TNRI
TNR1
Thank you, I too needed this
We are
This obviously takes a L O N