Narcissist Who Loves Dogs/Animals

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#1 Dec 30 - 3AM
Hidden Waters
Hidden Waters's picture

Narcissist Who Loves Dogs/Animals

My ex-N is over the top about dogs, in particular. In a way that is quite extreme.

He is fond of Gold Retrievers because he grew up with them as a child. When I first met him, he'd often claim that he'd give his life without a thought, for one of his dogs. He said that dogs are better than humans because they are loyal and will recline by someone's side if they were dying.

He said they were pure, loyal, and innocent and disappoint like humans did.

When one of his Goldens died a few years ago, the waterworks were completely on. He bawled out in public, in front of his friends and went on and on about how crushed he was over the dog's death. He even had certain songs he didn't like listening to much because one of them reminded him of a former dog that passed before that one.

Now my ex fits the bill of a narcissist a -great- deal, but this throws a wrench into things. How in the world can a Narc feel so much damned love over dogs if they can't have true feeling for anything or anyone?

He seemed rather broken up over the death of the dogs, so it seemed real to me. And, again, that confuses me.

And I say all of this as a dog lover myself. I've always had them, but the way he went on about them was a bit strange. even for an average dog lover. His whole family was that way (and they were all strange for a variety of reasons).

I remember asking him if he loved dogs to such an intense degree because they weren't complex like humans, that they didn't require a feedback, give and take relationship in the way humans do. He got mad and said I was trying to ruin his connection with dogs and taint it, like with everything else (he always said I was too analytical and "probing", oh and his favorite, "intense").

I told him I was just talking and trying to have a discussion but he was very vexed by me "analyzing" this and pointing this out or at least trying to figure it out.

But either way, how can a narc seemingly love animals so much and cry over their death? Is it real?

Dec 31 - 11AM
Victim-no-more's picture

Mine loved dogs.hated cats.

Mine loved dogs.hated cats. Last time he was at my house I didn't see my cat the willie time he was here. Maybe cats don't like narcs either.
Dec 30 - 4PM
NessMIA's picture

I WISH he treated me like his dog.

My N is obsessed with his dog. She is a beautiful and smart australian cattle dog and it is my N's PRIDE AND JOY. Loves her more than he loves his mom I'm sure. It KILLS him that his dog loves me so much. I think he hoovers me only because he wants me back in his dog's life and not HIS life. He once told me that he knew that I loved his dog as much as he does (I do.) He is so affectionate towards his dog. I remember many times..I'd be sitting on his couch and he would be cuddling and hugging and kissing his dog..and all I could think was "I WISH HE TREATED ME LIKE THAT."
Dec 30 - 1PM
Sparrow's picture

In my opinion, the death of

In my opinion, the death of an animal and the mourning the narc goes through is very real. They do feel emotion towards these pets, only because they can control them. Pets, especially dogs, are very eager to please, 24/7 are obedient, loyal to their dying day, and they NEVER question the narc and his motives. The relationship between the disordered and their pets is probably the closest to anything even remotely "real" in thier world. Again, that is just my opinion...........
Dec 30 - 1PM
jackguy's picture

my exn used dogs for supply

She had one that I grew attached to and that had to get put down during the course of the relationship. She asked me to go and get him from the vets after he died so that we could bury him...I did this and cried a little myself when we buried particular narc never cried in front of me... We went and got another dog not long after the first dog passed. Through a course of circumstances we ended up with two and my exn freaked out saying we had to sell one of them...this caused a row as I refused to sell it on saying we would take it back to the breeders even if we didn't get all the money back...which I did. The irony being that my exn continually lectured me on how I was tight with money and yet whenever it came to someone's or an animal's welfare I would always be the one who would show he wasn't motivated by or worried about money. What I noticed with the exn was that she became jealous of the two dogs...I think she felt all the attention being drained away from her and in the same way that they get jealous of their own children, she got jealous of the dogs. The dog was the beginning of the end for us actually...because I was standing up for my values at last and not bowing down to her... My exnarc loves big dogs and very attention-grabbing dogs...anything that would draw attention to her.
Dec 30 - 7AM
janemarie's picture

The exN used to kick, punch,

The exN used to kick, punch, and pick up his dog by the skin on the back of his neck....I hated it and would yell at him to stop... The English Bulldog became "mine", always running to me for love and protection.... and I get sick when I think of how I had to leave him behind with that f....bastard!!!! And there is nothing I can do because the dog is HIS and his kids love the dog...(they are only there part of the time and protect him) But Im afraid and feel for that dog.... He is gonna end up killing him...I know it!!!
Dec 30 - 7AM
Hunter's picture

It's all about them.. Dogs

It's all about them.. Dogs are a great source of supply.. They can control animals and the animal will obey.. Listen to his words.." they are pure loyal and dissapointment like Humans" he's damaged goods.. He's telling you this.. A dog can't hurt him.. I too love my dogs .. But My "Dog Whisperer " was over the top with his Dog.. A Narcissit does feel.. There are different levels of PD.. I've read this .. Let me see if I can find it for you.. I'm sure my freak is a's the difference.. Although he loves his dog.. I once said "oh poor dog is getting old ,will you be sad when he dies"? He replies " I'll just get a new dog" Hunter
Dec 30 - 5AM
Hidden Waters
Hidden Waters's picture


Something else I remember... When things were seemingly "great" between us, in the beginning, when he was Prince Charming, I distinctly remember him showing a bit of jealousy whenever I'd give my dog attention or pamper/baby her. He'd be on webcam and I'd be hugging my dog or talking sweetly to her and he'd be jealous. At first I thought it was playful, but it wasn't. He was actually uncomfortable with me showing her affection over him. He was quite possessive in the beginning and extremely obsessed. He'd want to talk to me all hours of the day, was curious about my whereabouts or what I planned to do. He seemed neurotic about offending me, or upsetting me in any way and would apologize profusely over things, even if it made no sense. he seemed paranoid about losing me. He followed everything I did with strong interest and dedication. He was my biggest cheerleader and "support" and he told -everyone- he could about me like I was the best thing ever - his pride and joy. So this was all part of his extreme fondness over me in the beginning - the jealousy with the dog sometimes. Of course later, when he turned from that into the COMPLETE opposite -- a cold, detached, covertly sadistic, asshole -- the jealousy stopped about my dog. He couldn't care less what I did, but he continued to obsess over his dogs in a very strange manner.
Dec 31 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
braveangel_12's picture

D was totally obsessed with

D was totally obsessed with his dog! His dog was alot like him. Neurotic, obsessive-compulsive, impulsive, and unpredictable. The dog came before me and even his kids called skip "the golden child". My 5 yr old shitzu and his dog were very close.I noticed that when D wanted to distance himself the dog could sense this need. He would sometimes ignore my dog and I became aware of my dog's insecurity.(I'm not sure what that says about me) I would actually ask him to pet dolly, then he would give her a little petting and ignore her again! Gaslighted! Pets are clearly a great source of NS. I think I recognized this before I realized what was happening to me! Poor animals!
Dec 30 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
Hunter's picture

He sounds just like my Dog

He sounds just like my Dog Whisperer..A Fucking Freak! :) Hunter
Dec 30 - 3AM
Alissa's picture

I don't know , but my N also

I don't know , but my N also said he cried for days when his beloved dog died. He said; "this was the only time I ever cried" but one other time he said: "I cried last night because I missed you so much". Very strange
Dec 30 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
TNR1's picture

I don't trust Narc words...I

I don't trust Narc words...I trust Narc actions. Words can be manipulated, actions can't.
Dec 30 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
nomoredenial's picture

The n never wanted a dog

fFINALLY FINALLY agreed to get one for sons bday, he had been begging since 7, but after we get one for son, n thinks we need 2. I fouhgt it all the way and couldnt understand why for someone who barley agreed to one suddenly wants i know, becasue he didnt want his son and dog to have HIS attention taken away. When we were at the pound looking at the one he wanted the peeople in front said they would take it, he was so pissed. We had seen it the day before and I dragged my feet and said lets decide to morrow. By then it was too late, thank goodness. Who would have ended up with him? me