Do Narcissists ever follow through and commit suicide?

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#1 Nov 29 - 12PM
Bluebunny
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Do Narcissists ever follow through and commit suicide?

I just received and email from my ExN's father to tell me that his mother died this morning. I was very close to his family, so I am not surprised his father wanted to let me know.
Over the past few months, the N has lost his home, his job, his car, his money and now his mother. I can't think of any lower place to be.
He used to threaten suicide a lot. If there was ever a time that someone could be low enough, I would think it would be now.
Am I wrong for not contacting him with condolences? I am a little concerned that he might hurt himself for real.

Nov 29 - 6PM
blueworld
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i cant tell you

how many times mine threatened suicide he called me about it text me about it threatened it said his family will blame me he also grabbed a knife from the chopping block half a million times and threatened to kill himself in the bathroom he is 23 and acts three i swear
Nov 29 - 6PM
onwithmylife
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bluebunny

they are COWARDS, they do not commit suicide but may cause their victims to do so!!!what is the point in contacting him, say your prayers silently in stead...........
Nov 29 - 5PM
Susan32
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Suicide ideation

There's nothing wrong with keeping NC. Your ex-N's father sounds very caring;he was trying to reach out. When you had problems of your own, did your ex-N help you? When you lost family members, did he treat you compassionately? Ns/Ps often engage in suicide ideation, and they tend to drive their victims to suicide. Leo Tolstoy was a major Narc;his wife, Sofia, attempted suicide several times because of his coldness&lack of compassion. Despite being a Narc, Leo himself was often suicidal;his final flight into the Russian winter (when he had D&D'd his wife&family) was suicidal. He came down with pneumonia&succumbed. Amedeo Modigliani was a Narc;he was self-destructive. During my final D&D at the hands of a psychopath, the ex-Psych was drinking heavily. He was acting self-destructive, and I'm surprised he didn't have a car accident or DUI. He was alcoholic and overeating. Over 4 years, he packed on the pounds. More of a slow suicide through heavy drinking&gluttony than just one quick suicidal act.
Nov 29 - 2PM
empath
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Ns destroy others not themselves

Everything about their disorder is designed to facilitate self-preservation above all and everything else. Threats are not the same as actually following through. You are not a therapist, and you do not have "superpowers" that could make his life any better...you cannot make his mother live again, you cannot restore the things he has lost, don't allow your strengths of compassion and emoathy to turn against you and lead you down the oath to your own demise. For heaven's sake, girl...his beloved mother warned you about him herself! Honor her memory privately...no one is going to notice if you don't send flowers or a card and certainly do not call him! A N will even exploit the death of a loved one to extract NS supply...do not fall into that trap. If you think he is in danger of harming himself, call 911 and let the authorities go and assess him. That is the best thing you can do for all involved...talking to him or going to see him, puts you in danger of losing your own life. There is nothing you can do to stop a person if they truly are intent on taking their own life. Thankful that he's not reaching out to you, let his family deal with him. So glad you came here first...
Nov 29 - 2PM
Hunter
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What he does or doesn't do is

What he does or doesn't do is not your problem.. Kill himself.... Not likely.. Like needing to know said .. Most of the time .. A person that is suicidal just does it.. Threatening .. Well .. It's attention seeking.. How low can he go.. They don't feel a thing... The question really is how low can he take his victim ... Think before you draw the next card.. If you have sympathy for this woman go to church, say a prayer and light a candle.. Flowers?? An excuse to make contact!!! Be honest.. Hunter
Nov 29 - 2PM (Reply to #13)
Hermes
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Myths about

about suicide. In actual fact, people who talk about suicide DO very often commit the act. (This from the Samaritans website). MYTH: People who talk about suicide aren’t really serious and not likely to actually kill themselves. FACT: People who kill themselves have often told someone that they do not feel life is worth living or that they have no future. Some may have actually said they want to die. Whilst it may be the case that some people talk about suicide as a way of getting the attention they need, it is very important that everyone who says they feel suicidal be treated seriously. MYTH: Once a person has made a serious suicide attempt, that person is unlikely to make another. FACT: People who have attempted to kill themselves are significantly more likely to eventually die by suicide than the rest of the population http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creating-in-flow/201107/four-myths-about-suicide However, in the case of NPD, who knows? Personality disorders are always underpinned by depression and other syndromes. One cannot say categorically someone will, or will not, commit suicide. Hermes
Nov 29 - 2PM (Reply to #14)
empath
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its not bluebunny's burden

He's a big boy and has a family and other NS to be his support network. Not her responsibility or concern.
Nov 29 - 2PM (Reply to #12)
Used
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hunter is right....when my

hunter is right....when my exnhs mum died last year...i sent a wreath, b/c she had been in my life as long as her son had...OVER 30YEARS...It was to show respect. that was all. 2mnths later...he hoovered....so know you know... spinning is also correct, light a candle in a church or at home, by a small bunch of flowers to keep with the candle.....you will be still showing respect, but in your own way.....good luck
Nov 29 - 1PM
needing2know
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Usually when a person wants

Usually when a person wants to take their own life they won't tell anyone they will just do it, when they tell someone they want to take their life they are usually looking for attention, send flowers and pay your respect that way , but don't contact him.
Nov 29 - 1PM
Bluebunny
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Would sending flowers to his

Would sending flowers to his family be acceptable? I just feel I need to do something. His mom was a cool lady.
Nov 29 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
spinning
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Blue, sweetheart, if your intention is to

honor his mom and show that you thought she was a cool lady and has only to do with that (which it sounds like it does) I would say go ahead and send flowers. You know in your heart what your intent is here. Just also know that it may prompt a call from him or something. Maybe not, too. Just know these things and contemplate that before you act. Blue, also below you said "just my stupid caring nature..." Sweetpea! There is nothing "stupid" about having a caring nature! Having a caring nature is beautiful! Using that caring nature as an excuse to hurt yourself is not so good...I hope you see what I'm saying here. Please do not call yourself names! Use your own caring nature toward yourself to take good care of your good qualities and nurture them in the light, dear Blue. I hope this helps some, I know you will do what is in your heart. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. AND IT FEELS GREAT

spinning

Nov 29 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
Bluebunny
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I am going to send flowers to

I am going to send flowers to his family and be done. That way, I feel I have done something, but I don't have to risk opening any doors. His mother warned me about him long before I saw him for he he was. She told me there is something wrong with her son and for my own sanity, I need to run away, fast. Thank you all! If it wasn't for this site, he would have gotten a call from me, I'm sure of it.
Nov 29 - 1PM
blueworld
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bluebunny

dont contact him i made the mistake a few months ago to contact him with condolences for his step dad dying when ended up working it out only to get lied to cheated on and disguarded within a shorter time frame then the last one if i kept nc and ignored him when my mutual friend told me his step dad died i could have saved all this i am going through now dont do it
Nov 29 - 1PM
Layla
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As terrible as this sounds coming from me....

...these are just excuses to make contact. Spinning is right, if you are truly concerned, you need to call 911. Anything more than that is not needed. These guys have a way of making us feel "needed" but what they are REALLY doing is USING us. love~ Layla
Nov 29 - 1PM
Bluebunny
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I really have no reasoning.

I really have no reasoning. It was just a knee jerk reaction for me to contact someone with condolences when they lose someone. I didn't do it, but for some reason I feel bad for not doing it. My stupid caring nature....... :-)
Nov 29 - 12PM
spinning
spinning's picture

Blue, if you have solid reason

to suspect he may harm himself then you should call the authorities, i.e. 911. Otherwise, you should not concern himself with what he may or may not be feeling, thinking, etc. etc. It is pointless and truly is no longer your problem. What is your intent with regard to contacting him for condolences? When you can answer that question, then you'll know what to do. As Used says, he has family members and other people. He's not reaching out to you to hold his hand...why should you return the favor? No contact is the key to recovery. You can send a card to his family or make a donation in his mother's honor... Most sincerely, (not) spinning. BECAUSE I'M COMPLETELY 100% NO CONTACT

spinning

Nov 29 - 12PM
Used
Used's picture

bunnyblue

as sad as this is that he has lost his mother.....he still has his father and other family members and friends....
Nov 29 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
nomoredenial
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I believe

my dad was a n at the least and maybe a pn and he did commit suicide. That said he was that way before I was born and would always be that way....no one but he could help himself. My mom tried. Its really not your place and he has not reached out to ask you for help. You are putting yourself in that position. Lately when I have thought about how sad and pathetic the x is with bills ect and feel tempted to "help" I realize it is rescuing and not helping him at all. Maybe this bottom is what he needs to evaluate his own life.