Suzette's story

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#1 Nov 9 - 8PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Suzette's story

I finally woke up after 14 years and oh my goodness what a mess of a life I have now. I have my sanity and I am fighting to keep it and rebuild my life. I stayed because I DESPERATELY wanted our family to work.

We have a child together who adores him. I always knew something was wrong but figured life stress was the cause. I never considered myself an abused wife as he never hit me but the mental anguish I've endured over the years is nothing less than traumatic. He has been seeing another woman for the past three years while attending counseling on and off with me. I was devastated. He became MEAN, and COLD. He even admitted to purposely doing things to hurt me as he thought I was unshakable and that annoyed him. He said he escalated his actions to get my attention but the more he hurt me the stronger I got because I turned to my faith. The lies, the neglect, the rages and the constant belittling is nothing short of shameful. Then he would get so sweet especially around our child that it made our separation even harder on our child.

He is handsome and everybody loves him. Only one person in my family knows the real truth about us. I tried leaving twice the first time he sweet talked me into coming back, the second time I threw him out and again pleaded, went to counseling and within one month the same thing. This time I moved out of state and moved in with relatives and gave specific instructions to a family member to slap me if I moved back.

My business has suffered tremendously because of this toxic relationship. About to file bankruptcy and have to rebuild business from scratch. I have no money and my credits is shot to hell but I am optimistic and know God is in control of my life. He was calling 10-15 times per day professing his love and how much he missed us but still sleeping with other woman. I finally sent a clear message that his calls are not welcomed. He told our child he is working on his problems and that I needed time to take care of myself while he works on his issues and that we will be happy family again

He says he knows he has problems and is doing his best to fix himself but I have yet to see an action. I have had massive headaches, stomach aches and my mind has been so warped that my body reacts with pains come all over. I have begun exercising again so my body can be healed. I am so done with this relationship.

I am a smart woman and I was warned by others that he was no good but this was from people who had no credibility and were gossipers. I saw another side of him and I knew him from high school and he always had ambition. Initially I felt I had died and gone to heaven when we started. Now I feel like I am in a living hell.

Today I had a melt down and came across the site. Its been two months since leaving. Thanks for reading

Nov 10 - 5PM
Chloe's picture


Hang in there. Like Barbara said, keep reading and discovering and learning more about this disorder.
Nov 9 - 10PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Welcome Suzette

Welcome... - Get yourself Lisa's book (link at right) and read it! - PLEASE PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. - Please read through our whole blog: - chock full of articles about Ns and healing - PLEASE read the forum posting rules as well. - listen to our free radio show - archived at: Glad you got out. One big thing is to get yourself into therapy IMMEDIATELY to start detoxing from this animal.
Nov 10 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
4joys4's picture

Hi suzette. You are in the

Hi suzette. You are in the right place. I can relate to everything you wrote. They have so much in common, these narcs and sociopaths. So predictable after you know who you are dealing with. But who knew? I knew nothing about red flags before all of this. You sound strong and will make it through. Therapy has helped me a lot and group therapy with others have gone through this is an extra boost. Good luck on your healing journey :)