"You're truly an angel" - BARF! Gotta vent.....

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#1 Oct 20 - 11AM
LuckySpurs
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"You're truly an angel" - BARF! Gotta vent.....

Ok, I know this is a perfect example of why no contact is best. I caved and looked at my former best gal pals facebook this morning. It is her birthday. Most of her "friends" wrote something simple like "happy birthday", but a couple of them wrote entire paragraphs about how beautiful, wonderful, awesome and truly special she is. One even said, "You're truly an angel!". AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! These poor souls, I would have been the dummy saying that years ago. I just want to shake them and say, "she's not an angel, she's the devil! Devils love to masquerade as angels right up until they stab you repeatedly in the back and tell you it's your fault they did so!". But I know it's useless. So infuriating that this evil woman can pull the wool over so many people's eyes. It's quite scary too.

Oct 20 - 4PM
peanutbutterfrogs
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Angels and demons

My ex N was constantly referred to as an angel. That is what confused me so much and made me think I was the crazy one. Strength and hope. PBF
Oct 20 - 1PM
Goldie
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I hear you

People often get "fooled" especially by female narcs. There was one in my circle a couple of years ago and she came on the scene like little miss perfect. She made a point of sucking up and kissing ass with all the key players first and then spread her wings onto all the underdogs. Shortly there were at least 6 guys in the group "in love" with her and the women all acted like she was great. She spoke of love and God and puppy dog tails. Anyways....... I began to see inconsistencies in her "stories." She made a point of sucking up to me BIG TIME, because she saw me as strong and thought I guess, that she was so great that she could garner my sympathies and gain more favor with the others. As time went on she began to reveal her "inner shit" and it was NOT pretty. Her previous bf who was married when she met him, encourged her to have 3somes with he and his wife (or that is HER version of the story), course he was stinking filthy rich. The arrangement was that it was to be just the 3 of them and then......big surprise, he ends up "falling in love" with her and leaving his wife. This detail did not appear to faze her in the slighest. She went on to tell me that he was "ugly" but soooooo.... good to her, hmmmm....cash cow, basically and even though she offered nothing aside from her sex and her charm, she constantly put him down and did the whole push/pull thing with him for years, refused to marry him, yet took all the money and "things" which he offered. Anyways......she kicks him out that last time and this time instead of going back to her he found someone else and she completely fell apart and this is when she arrives in our group. There were many other stories about all the people who screwed her over, however, the common theme was that there was always SOMEONE in every group who could see right through her and called her on it and of course these people were the big bad wolves whom she hated and trashed every chance she got. Must be why she had to find new groups of people every several years. Fast forward. One night little miss perfect and I went out and the guy that she wanted was hitting on me, I was not encouraging him in the slightest and he eventually made his intentions known and she nearly went psychotic, insulting ME, she even left me there, and she was driving. My point is that they always eventually show their true colors to someone and they never REALLY wind up on top, even though it "appears" at the time that they do. They always fall when they come up against the wrong people. The ones who can see right through their bullshit. Where is she now.....getting older now, not the belle of the ball, still at the same old crappy job, no cash cow, and no new $$$$cow on the horizon. You can fool some of the people some of the time but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time AND what goes around; comes around; no doubt!!! Lucky,SO WHAT if a FEW people have not been burned yet by her fire, they will, give it time. I understand that it can be unnerving to watch them manipulate new supply, I was pissed initially when she was getting all of my friends to kiss her ass and do for her things they would not even do for me. Funny thing is that when all was said and done, I lost respect for all of them, her for being such a manipulative bitch, and them for falling for it. Things happen for a reason and I think it was all part of God's plan for me to see how shallow she and they were. These were not people that I needed in my life and thank God they were only a small segment of my support network, so it was not that big of a loss for me to be done with the entire lot of them. I would have never found this site had I stayed in that circle of "friends." I found the site because I began to reach out to new sources in dealing with my issue's with a PD. They sure as shit were not going to be any help there. It get's better. God bless, Goldie
Oct 20 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
peanutbutterfrogs
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Familiar story

Except that he is a male. I watched the circle of his internet friends change frequently. It was really odd and off kilter, he would go from the groupies that were very sexual, to the ones who were very religious. Rarely could you find one that was just a happy medium, and when that happened they didn't stay long. And the getting them to do things. That was a trademark, and yes I did decide I didn't want anything to do with the lot of them first. Then as I watched things unravel, I realized he was a key player in all of it. And the things he told me about his past, how all the relationships he had, he was the one who got screwed over, this wasn't just girlfriends, but friends, family, everyone. He was Mr. Nice Guy, and did no wrong is essentially what he was saying. And finally, the way you describe how he came on the scene. He aimed directly at those who were established, then went from there. It was so odd to watch. Surreal almost. Maybe the girl you mention is his sibling? :) Or do they all just really end up being that typical? *Hugs*
Oct 20 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
LuckySpurs
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Folie au deux

I think "folie au deux" describes the followers of narcs. It's a shared delusion amongst the group. Once you realize the group isn't based in reality, you can go crazy trying to get them to see the reality of what's going on too. When you're in a narc's inner circle, black is white and wrong is right & vice versa. It's maddening behavior, all because of the narc and their mental disorder. It's allowing the inmate to run the asylum. Of course, once you say anything at all to the contrary of their group thinking, you are labeled "bad", "crazy", "mean", "dumb" and on and on. When in fact, you're the only one that's not participating in the shared delusion with the narc; the "folie au deux". It's very sad & frustrating.
Oct 20 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
Goldie
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Folie au deux aka Shared Psychotic Disorder

Wow girl, you are on top of your game today. Perfect analysis of the situation. You get it!!! It is a shared delusional psychosis by the entire group and of course the "outsider" is the one who can see right through the manipulation. You see this often in dysfunctional families who NEED to keep the secrets and the denial alive for self preservation. You see this in the abuse cycle when the victim sticks up for the perpetrator or feels quilty if they have to "turn" them in like THEY are doing something wrong. No one else seems to "understand" or "get" the "real" story of what is actually happening between the two. They LOVE me and do not mean the abuse. They have reasons, you don't know the stress they are under. Yada yada. Prognosis for Shared Psychotic Disorder = NC: The disorder can be chronic depending on the dynamics of the relationship, but with separation (NC), it can disappear, sometimes rather quickly. God bless, Goldie