Yep, the winter hooverings have started

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#1 Oct 16 - 11AM
greengirl91
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Yep, the winter hooverings have started

Mine too. He took it early on, I have discovered a "bait" from two months ago, from a site, from "our spot" where we used to put stuff. Correction, I used to put stuff mainly* love puddin` songs, for my Mista Jay.

And mine is not the only onw who is starting early on the Winter season! His best friend Narc does the same thing. I noticed, from yesterday until early today, his target woman (which happens to be in my friend list) changed her mood from love to hate a coupple of times!..I know well what this means..ROLLER-COASTER, NARC TRIP!

Wish all of them best of luck, from outside "the games". And to myself, as well.

My hoovering bait this time? The same old, same old "baby come back", "I wanna be with you" that I know so well. Words, only words.

I don`t believe in words anymore, I believe in facts. And love that is proven to be true.

I didn`t look back from curiosity, rather the need to escape my reality. One female psychologist said "We`d rather come back to unhealthy and poor love, than work on our personal development and growing."

I know the whole truth, I know it will never be more than this. More than promises and words from this joker. He has nothing real to offer in a relationship.

If I`d choose to answer or to go back, I am sure he`ll find a way to punish me for this "independency" and NC period, harder than ever! To teach me a "lesson", for daring to leave. I`m sure mine is not the only one planning and hoovering old sources in this period.

It`s the Narc Season dear friends, stay strong and comfortable in your new life, and close to this place!

Comparing to how shaken I used to be by his words, now I am way better. I see through. He is only bored probaby and decided to throw a "bait" to see if he catches some fish.

Well this fish is growing, and hopefully, learned the lesson!

Peace to everyone, and stay strong :-)

Oct 16 - 3PM
Hunter
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You go green girl .. Tell him

You go green girl .. Tell him to go harvest his "nuts" elsewhere! Hunter
Oct 16 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
greengirl91
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Thank You Hunteeer!! And that

Thank You Hunteeer!! And that part with the "nuts", is completely hilarious, I was laughing by myself while reading it, a few days ago on another post of yours!!
Oct 16 - 1PM
la.luna
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So Proud of You...

...for not taking the bait! You are an inspiration, girl! Keep working hard and staying strong :)
Oct 16 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
greengirl91
greengirl91's picture

Thank you for being so kind,

Thank you for being so kind, La.luna! I can hardly see myself as an inspiration, because I feel I make constant mistakes, go back, and then hate myself for it. But I don`t give up on my life, I believe I can make it, and this however toxic experience will not OWN me! And I believe this to be true for so many of us here, striving and fighting every day :-) Take it from a person who had over 400 hundred love songs, and countless attempts of beating her heart, her head, her soul against Narc walls. Trust yourself and your gut. There was no one who wanted more than me for my Narc to be real, for his love to be real, but it`s just isn`t going to happen. You need more than words and promises, to make love real, you need real comitment, and real people.
Oct 16 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
Tigerlily
Tigerlily's picture

Well said, Green Girl!

If the actions don`t match the words, then it`s time to bail out. And that`s usually earlier than ANY of us wants to bail out. No matter, better late than never. And better luck next time! Tigerlily
Oct 16 - 12PM
Nutzie17
Nutzie17's picture

Yep, Narc Season!!

Narc Season! It's so very true. I've been fine without him. I've had a few struggles, but,over all, doing well. But, here come the holidays, and all the stupid emotions. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and his birthday. Last year, at this time, I thought we had something real, I thought we had a solid friendship. It get's to me at times and I so want to call him. I so wish he was different, his fake self was so much fun! I know, I can't call, I don't need to be betrayed and hurt again. So, your right, staying strong and NC is the very best, especially during Narc Season! Strenght to all,my sisters!
Oct 16 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
greengirl91
greengirl91's picture

Thank you for sharing your

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, Bklyngirl52, that is one of the things I love about this place. On one side I feel I`m making progress with my life, but on another, I have moments before going to sleep, when I wish The Denial time would be back, just for a moment. I`d wish I could believe the lie, just one more time, enough to be in his arms again. But then, the lightbulb, and the reality sets in, "IS IT WORTH THE PRICE?".. For one moment of dillusional happiness, is it worth throwing away all the hard work I`ve tried to do?.. I wish I could believe him. But I know, He knows, these are simply words. In a few days, he will switch to The Summer Girl. I`m The Winter Girl, lol!! Well, not even that, anymore :-) I am simply myself, feeling fine being myself, and try to stay undefined by his mirror and tricks.
Oct 16 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

gg91

You've summed up beautifully what we all wish we could feel for that split second. The comfort we did really feel in arms that were empty and a fraud. Keep being strong, acknowledge those feelings, and realize how far you've come and the reality of the truth.