I have to break contact to tell him to stop contacting me, thoughts?
I have to break contact to tell him to stop contacting me, thoughts?
He has called 3 times in the last month and sought me out once in public. I think he drives by my house. All of this on one hand- is seductive. but that is the sick part of me that I cannot entertain. I am on the path of healing and recovery from 8 years of grief and devaluing.
The reason I have to send a Do not contact me email is because my message 4.5 months ago ( when I went NC) was not strong enough. All I could muster was a 2 word email "need space" . I was so so fucked up that I thought I could slip and go back to him at any time. I had done it countless times before. So obviously this "need space" message only holds weight for so long.
My therapist and trusted wise friends are saying I need to send a strong clear short email. This is what I want to send, please tell me your feedback. When I send it- I realize this will be a true letting go. Once I call him out fully- he won't want to hoover me. he will know the seduction won't work anymore. and this scares me. I am truly closing the door.
"Do not contact me via email, phone or in person.
This is what you are: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
and because of this- any chance of a healthy connection with you is completely impossible.
You will undoubtedly find more women to seduce, devalue, lie to, manipulate, and demean- there will be always another earnest empathic woman to want to believe you are a good man.
I know differently and this is why I am done."
I really want to send this. It will blow him away and make him stay away. I believe so.
Please tell me your thoughts.
Thank you
I'm standing right where you are
Julia
Too long. The first line is
Contact for NC
Isn't BOUNDARY MAKING part of our healing???
Here is an issue with sending
Striving
no words. nothing is a
I had the day from hell because of all my obsessing...
SFH
NC will be the only thing
strivingforhealing
I am more confused than ever so I won't send it right now
Letting the Dream Go
Tigerlily
I my opinion, but
Shades of gray
Good for you, Striving!
spinning
Well done, Striving!
Hey Striving...if that is
You don't have to contact
The power of silence
As for second best...
You told him once not to
Is saying "need space" the same thing as "do not contact?"
Do you want my honest opinion?
I agree with Goldie
Doublespeak - don`t play!
Striving, thank you for
I just got off the phone with my therapist who wants me to amend