When they text & you (stupidly) reply then they ignore

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#1 Oct 8 - 3AM
Katycat
Katycat's picture

When they text & you (stupidly) reply then they ignore

Hi everyone,

Mine is 9 years older than me. Recently i ended it after he asked me to be his girlfriend after 8 months and didn't make me feel like it at all. I did NC and he kept contacting so i replied and got it out of him days later he met somebody else.

I stopped contact. Just under two weeks ago he texted me i didn't reply. Then for the next few days texted and emailed asking if i was ok and begging for me to not ignore him. 2 days after i contacted telling him that it doesn't matter how i am now that he is with another woman.

He never replied and that was 9 days ago. I don't understand why he was so desperate to talk then he ignores me. Is he expecting me to grovel like he did? It's not going to happen. He is with some other woman and i have far too much respect for myself. Is he embarrassed that he contacted more than ten times and i only sent one?

Has this happened to anyone else?

The worst thing is i know i'll hear from him but WHEN? I hate that waiting on something feeling. I know i have to forget but I can't help but expect something. It's so frustrating!

I won't text. Lesson learned... but i want to know why they do this?

Katy x

Oct 8 - 6PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

You said to him... " 2 days

You said to him... " 2 days after i contacted telling him that it doesn't matter how i am now that he is with another woman." Between the lines that means you aren't happy that he is with another woman. That gave him attention/adoration which means supply. And any contact from you to him does the same thing. Texting to tell him you hate him tells him you're thinking about him...and that gives him supply/power. Telling him to leave you alone tells him you are thinking of him, and that gives him supply. Anything except one thing gives him attention! No contact is that one thing. All else is dancing with the devil...it's your choice! ds
Oct 9 - 5AM (Reply to #13)
Katycat
Katycat's picture

I know. I'm not happy about

I know. I'm not happy about the other woman, not even sure if she exists or he is saying it to make me jealous and want him because i dumped him. If that's the case, it's done him no favors. It's made me think of him as a revolting sleaze bag. I deserve so much more. When he comes around i will ignore ignore ignore!
Oct 8 - 3PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Yes, this has happened to

Yes, this has happened to MOST of us! It is what narcs do, it is all about supply (all good to them regardless of the nature of our response)... keep reading, learning and block his disordered ass!! Journey on...

Journey on...

Oct 8 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Why do they do this??because

Why do they do this??because they have a disorder!! You need to take the human out of this creature!! Read,read,read. Hunter
Oct 8 - 9AM
MandyM
MandyM's picture

Mine did this at the end. He

Mine did this at the end. He didn't bombard me with "Are you okay?? Don't ignore me!!" texts - out of sight, out of mind, I think - but he would text with suggestions to get together, or to joke about something, and when I would reply, he never answered. Likely it was checking to make sure I was still on his hook.
Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
meik11
meik11's picture

I completely agree... After

I completely agree... After nc for about a week mine texted me everyday just to say goodmorning for 5 days straight and I responded. On the 6th day I said goodmorning and he never replied... They play games just to see if they still have you... In the past if my N texted or called and I didn't respond he would freak out and call until I answered and send text after text. Now if I dont answere he proceeds with his day. Thats how I know he has a new supply....
Oct 9 - 5AM (Reply to #9)
Katycat
Katycat's picture

Yep mine goes insane. He

Yep mine goes insane. He blows up my phone and email until he gets a response. He won't stop. They cannot have normal relationships, they have a pattern of this sick behavior. They will end up lonely old men. No woman will put up with it, you can only do it for so long. Everyone they have eventually packs up and walks out on them.
Oct 8 - 5AM
adoette
adoette's picture

Katycat

He's like a four year old. "Look at me! Look at me!" and once you do, they go back to playing. He got what he wanted from you, a response. Narcs hate to be ignored. Oh, but the love to ignore people. It's all about power. This has happened to a lot of people on this site. It happened to me before I went full blown NC. I'd take a break from the narc. He'd hate that. He'd pursue me. I'd give in. He'd ignore me. Repeat ten or twelve times. Block his ass. Block it good. That waiting game is torture. If you block all the gates of access, NC will be less hard. Not easy, mind you, but less hard. Hats off to you for going forth. I know of the frustration you speak of. I know it well. Stay strong.
Oct 8 - 5AM (Reply to #2)
Katycat
Katycat's picture

He is literally a 4 year old

He is literally a 4 year old in a 33 year olds body. It's a joke. I'm not responding but i know he can never leave me alone. He ALWAYS comes back. He is so sick he texted me a couple of weeks ago saying 'I don't care who you are with I will always come back for you'. To me that was so egotistical that he thinks i'd take him back after everything he has done to me. As bad as it all got i am still addicted to him. Some times i feel like i need another hit. It's just insane. I haven't seen him for 2 months today and i am craving him. I imagine this is what a drug addiction is like.
Oct 9 - 3AM (Reply to #5)
meik11
meik11's picture

Omg mine said the same after

Omg mine said the same after he re-appeared from a month long punishment. He asked me if I thought there would ever be a time when we would never speak again and I said yes at some point this will stop. He said there will never be a time when we will be completely out of touch. He said he will come back no matter who is in my life. The person in denial thought "oh that must mean he doesn't want to be without me." The post, lisaescott.com me knows that meant "I know you are weak enough to always let me return no matter what I do so I will"...
Oct 9 - 5AM (Reply to #6)
Katycat
Katycat's picture

Wow. They are just mental.

Wow. They are just mental. The punishment is really insane because i wont contact him and i know he is waiting for me to. He will feel stupid for making contact so many times and seeming so needy and desperate yet i only have contacted him once in a month replying to him that it's over. He always comes back, always. I know that won't be the last word but i want it to be sooner rather than later so i can stop thinking about it. Mine was actually crazy. He got angry with me for poking him and playing affectionately, he went mental at so many things i said, would tell me he doesn't know what he wants but would beg to see me when i ended it, then said he thinks he might want to be single forever because he is so selfish then turned around the next week and told me he wants me to be his best friend and how he wants me to be his girlfriend and for all of the games to stop. Like it was me! I told him several times i wanted a relationship yet he would always apologize for being 'so difficult' yet he told me he wanted 'something easy and normal'... not sure how that works when he told me he was the difficult one. Meh! He will just screw this new woman over too. He is nuts.
Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
Journey
Journey's picture

Yes it is, and just like a

Yes it is, and just like a drug addiction the longer you can go without that 'hit', the stronger you will be and the less you will crave it. Stay strong, don't try to be 'normal' with the disordered, like any addiction, they offer nothing worth having!

Journey on...

Oct 9 - 5AM (Reply to #4)
Katycat
Katycat's picture

Yep damn straight sister.

Yep damn straight sister. They offer nothing except for lies and heartbreak. I am 9 years his junior and 9 years hotter than he is. Not sure why i wasted my time on an unhappy 33 year old with a gut and webbed toes. Not sure how i ended up with him! We can do so much better than that bs!