Is there a reason why people don't reply to me?

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#1 Sep 30 - 4AM
Nemesis
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Is there a reason why people don't reply to me?

I have been aware for a couple of months that hardly anyone replies to my posts. I usually post on other people's threads rather than start up my own but I would still like other people to talk to me.

I see other people chatting with each other back and forth within the threads and would like to join in. I have spent several hours posting on different threads this week and have a reply from only one person. This has been getting me down.

If I am doing something to irritate people then I would like to know what is putting you all off me? If it is just that no one is finding my comments beneficial then I will take a break from posting for a while as I'm starting to become depressed about it.

Oct 2 - 5PM
tresor2
tresor2's picture

Nemesis

Thank you for putting this out there. I too have felt that way many times. I've had a few good threads but there have been many with minimal response. Given my insecurities, I'll personalize the experience and it triggers my N wounds of feeling neglected and invalidated. I'm aware of my negative perceptions and I've used this experience to dispute my faulty beliefs and to work on my black/white thinking. I sometimes inflict my own wounds by all this negative self talk which perpetuates my suffering. This morning, I found your response to my post of one month ago on NC under Lisa's blog. I just now responded to your feedback. I'm finding that when I'm offline, I sometimes miss posts. I also have times when I read the posts and I just can't find it within myself to respond due to my own personal stuff. Sometimes I get really triggered by reading. It's not that I'm not grateful or irritated. I'm glad you posted this...I think we can all relate. Your comments are valued and please continue to post. Hugs
Oct 1 - 10PM
blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

you said that so sweet!

This really breaks me, the way that you say it. Ive often felt the same but never would have the guts to come out and mention it. Wow, your really honest! Sometimes I dont respond to posts if im not sure what to say, or start getting involved in alot of posts and topics at one time...I read so many things on here, my mind starts getting blurry after a while. Im sure theres all kinds of reasons it could be (when someone doesnt respond) that probably dont mean anything bad. By the way, i know i havent been on here that much--visibly anyway. (my username used to be indifference sucks) but i just wanted to say that Ive read alot of your posts responding to things, and really have gotten alot out of them! Your posts really give me what i need alot of times. Your sweet, God bless you.
Oct 2 - 8AM (Reply to #49)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Blindfaith

Thank you Blindfaith. I think that's what I needed to hear, that people are still reading my posts and are getting some benefit from them. This makes me feel so much happier and stronger. Thank you. xxx
Oct 1 - 10PM
KeshaN
KeshaN's picture

U are not alone i feel the

U are not alone i feel the same way too. I think some people are just more familiar with others I guess. I will read and respond to all of your post!
Oct 2 - 8AM (Reply to #47)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Kesha

Thank you Kesha. I would like to chat with you too. xxx
Sep 30 - 6PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

You're NOT annoying!

Your thread about how NC is the best revenge is great here! You make valuable contributions. Besides, according to Greek mythology, Nemesis punished Narcissus.
Oct 1 - 10PM (Reply to #44)
freaked
freaked's picture

susan32

I didnt know this! wow thanks Susan32. nemesis punished narcissus.. shall be my google search for today:)
Oct 1 - 11PM (Reply to #45)
Susan32
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Another name for Nemesis

According to the zodiac, the other name for the constellation Virgo is... Nemesis.
Oct 1 - 3AM (Reply to #43)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Susan

Thanks Susan, I appreciate knowing your thoughts. Yes! I also thought the name was apt! :) xxx
Sep 30 - 4PM
faith999
faith999's picture

Your post made me smile

Your post made me smile for several reasons. I too have thought of myself at times as a thread killer.I don't post often, but when I do I think that I wrote something insightful that may help someone,and as the post goes down the line I start questioning myself and my insights. Especially on days when I am feeling a little low in the self esteem area. Secondly I admire your vulnerability in having the courage to even ask the question. That takes some self esteem. Obviuosly your narc wasn't able to crush that!! Vulnerability is a beautful thing in the right setting and with the right people. This forum is full of such people. Lastly I thought of what a narc would do on a forum where he/she felt their posts were being ignored. They would probably write a raging new thread or tell everyone how special and unique their issues are and the rest of us less superior beings couldn't even relate. Hope I don't kill this post!:)
Sep 30 - 4PM (Reply to #40)
Winter
Winter's picture

Faith999

No,you don't :) and thanks for a good laugh! You have such a good sense of humour. Just between you and me (dont tell anyone here) I feel the same from time to time. I agree it takes a lot of strength and self-confidence to start this topic. No narc can destroy a beautiful person!
Oct 1 - 3AM (Reply to #41)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Winter

Bless you. :) xxx
Sep 30 - 4PM (Reply to #39)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Faith

No, you haven't killed it! :) I am very glad to hear that I am not alone with my worries. I was very down this morning but feeling much better now thanks to all the lovely messages of reassurance which have made me feel really valued. Thanks for your comments, especially the bit about the narc ex not being able to "crush" my self-esteem. I like that. Take care. xxx
Sep 30 - 1PM
prettypeeved
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It may have been said

It may have been said already, but some of us are in different time zones, plus I generally spend most of my time on the Steps 1-3 rather than 4-6.
Sep 30 - 1PM
Sea
Sea's picture

Hi there Nemesis I enjoy

Hi there Nemesis I enjoy talking to u! Plse dont feel this way. Hugs
Sep 30 - 2PM (Reply to #36)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Thank you Sea!

Thank you Sea! Hugs back to you too. xxx
Sep 30 - 1PM
Pride and Shame
Pride and Shame's picture

Nemesis

I like your posts! I like your comments! I'm trying to wean myself off of 24/7 support, so when I comment I really want to say something meaningful. Your insights are valuable and make me think. Now that I know you need some reassurance I will comment when appropriate. Hang in there!! We all need some extra strokes because our egos are so damaged.
Sep 30 - 2PM (Reply to #34)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Pride and Shame

Thank you. I appreciate your reply and will keep posting. xxx
Sep 30 - 11AM
emtg
emtg's picture

I just generally reply at random when I start a thread

I also read more than I post as I'm new to this forum. I love everyones posts and find your particularly helpful - especially the one you wrote about his last resort "pity." I woke up to a text this morning (It's his birthday today) that said "wish you would celebrate with me." I know it's just the last resort talking. thanks! sorry you are having a tough time.
Sep 30 - 11AM (Reply to #32)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

You are right.

You are right emtg it is definately his last resort! He knows he has burned his bridges with you. xxx
Sep 30 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

This topic has come up over

This topic has come up over and over! We are a caring sharing group! It's also an open forum! If you feel left out please take this to a PM with the mods! Nemesis you have been here 12 weeks! It takes time to build relationships, here and on the outside! Your posts indeed add value! Honestly I don't see enough of them! I have made many friends here however, I have been here for over a year! In the future everyone please address this with the Mods! You have been through a difficult experience and emotions run wild ! Please continue to post! Hunter
Sep 30 - 10AM
newbegginings
newbegginings's picture

Nemisis

Hi, I have enjoyed reading your posts and replies. I am only a month into this and , I have had a very active day today on the forum. Nemisis, if it wasn't for you and some other great gals, I would not have been able to get to where I am today after only four weeks. Do not feel that you are not recognized, because you would be so wrong, we all need you, we all need each other. It's hard when it all hurts so much, but look at how many love having you here . Big hugs.. Timtam
Oct 1 - 3AM (Reply to #29)
Nemesis
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Timtam

Thank you Timtam, I'm very grateful for your comments of support. xxx
Sep 30 - 9AM
freaked
freaked's picture

Now I am feeling left out from your thread :(

nemesis, now I am feeling sad because you did not notice any of my responses to you :( no reply to me from you :(( why??? did i not get liked by you? serious question.
Sep 30 - 10AM (Reply to #26)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Freaked

Thanks for your messages! Of course I like you, very much. I replied to the one from you titled "Nemesis, i am glad you started this thread" but I didn't put your name at the top so maybe you didn't know it was meant for you. Sometimes they end up in the wrong order. I am very grateful for your responses. xxx :)
Oct 1 - 12AM (Reply to #27)
freaked
freaked's picture

Nemesis, Thank you :)

Smile and Hug for this reply Nemesis. not just you, but even i seem to get sensitive about this response thing. after so many weeks here, i have begun to think you folk are my FAMILY... and it is natural progression that one will want response from one's true family. due to N we all are starved for love and companioship. I also plead guilty of feeling HAPPY when i am addressed too:) Hope it is OK to be like this till we are more healed from the deadly wound.
Sep 30 - 9AM
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

Thank You Everyone

Thank you everyone for all your replies. I was feeling so low this morning, but feeling much better now thanks to all of you and I am so grateful. Thank you. xxx
Sep 30 - 9AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

Nemesis...Thanks

I am an old timer on this site and i can tell you that your post about NC made me start it,I NEVER believed i could go NC on him...i wanted to stay in contact to get to hear that his life after me was going downhill...we were in a LDR so i can only hear from him about his misfortunes,,,but your post made me realize,the only way i would get lets say revenge is going NC and giving him my silence....And it works...i am feeling better,and he is feeling pretty shitty...i know that because he did contact me through email(he in THE USA ME IN HOLLAND)so now i am sticking to it....you are really making a difference in my life....i am getting me back thanks that post...so thank you...HUGHS.....

Aceonelady

Sep 30 - 9AM (Reply to #23)
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

I am so happy to hear you say that.

Aceonelady, Thank you for your message. It makes me feel so much better to know that my post made a difference to you and helped your recovery. :) That is what I want more than anything, to feel like I can make a difference to others. It's one of the things that helps me feel stronger and happier. xxx
Sep 30 - 8AM
sadderbutwiser
sadderbutwiser's picture

hi nemesis

about a month ago i posted the same thing as you. i think that when we feel down we become more sensitive to everything. i also love your posts, but i read more than i post. everyone on here is wonderful and we really care about each other.