What if the Mask Doesn't Come Off with the OW?
What if the Mask Doesn't Come Off with the OW?
One of the pieces of info about N's that has helped my recovery is the assertion that they don't change. They supposidly treat all their partners the same way, at some level. I think the big difference is in the length of the honeymoon stage which is determined by many factors. If sex is the prime motivator, the good times may be shorter than if we're targeted for money or business connections. It all depends on what the N needs at the time. He may want help with his business and if he likes you enough, you'll be targeted for the honor of being his live-in helper and sex slave.
That brings me to my point. I've read so many posts where women talk about the happiness he finds with the OW. It's really hard to deal with the OW thing. So what would it mean if he does, in fact, manage to keep the mask on for good with the OW. Maybe he found the right motivator to treat someone well. What if he truly finds what he wants in someone else? What if his fake positive image dominates and becomes stable. This is what I've come up with:
My unhealthy self would conclude that this happened because:
1. I'm not good enough
2. I'm ugly
3. I'm not rich enough
4. My family doesn't have connections
5. I'm too old
6. I said the wrong things; I called him a N
7. I wasn't subsurvient enough
8. I called him on his sh*t
9. My breasts are too small and my nose isn't right
10.I should have my doctorate degree
11.I was too needy
My healthy self concludes:
1. I don't give a F*ck. I'm OK the way I am. Yes, it hurts but, I'll survive.
Oops, my post below was in
Hi deecbee, yes we really do
Journey on...
I agree with everything you
It will!
THEN IT WILL COME OFF IN
Not unless they super glue it on, honey.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache
When you think about it, our
Idealizing the OW
Who cares
Gullable
Michelle115
Another reason why EVERYONE eventually sees behind the mask
Journey on...
Journey
Oh yes Erali, it is a common
Journey on...
JOURNEY
It's truly unfortunate.
Crazy control
Sex is one of their favourite
Manipulative sex
Gullable
My Narc Was With His Wife 35 Years Until Her Death
So Sad
AND this was the nightmare I feared
Thanks Michelle - Why can't I kill off that small part of me
Soaper
cfs fibromyalgia
Please own it...they are the shit under your shoes.
Escape
Narcs n $
"Empty selflessness"