After I broke contact and met him: my strange reaction - comments please
After I broke contact and met him: my strange reaction - comments please
As many of you know I decided to break contact after my EX N suddenly appeared here 11 months after his move. The meeting went much better than expected and startled him- he left saying "this is alot to process". He meant the emotional connection that is still there.
He did not say good bye and a week later I have not heard a peep.
A couple things:
I still feel calm and happy. Do you think it is because I we had a "sweet" meeting and knowing this gives me more freedom to be strong about leading my new life ?
Or do you think I am in denial and still on a cloud from the happy reunion?
I can't understand why I haven't crashed with the immediate silence again.
I am actually feeling excited about my vacation.
However, there is a PART of me that wonders if there actually is a chance of reconciliation and now I feel if I follow my plan to move to the new place where there is cheap property and the opportunity to do my sport year round with the best (and still work virtually), that I will destroy any opportunity to see each other again as we will be even more far apart.
Living here in his home town, he will always be returning for his family.It was clear he does not want me to move away - he likes knowing I am here "waiting" which I know is sick. He probably still thinks he moved for a job and did not abandon me but he DID desert me and run wild. He is a passive type who will never beg me back. I know I need more tough talk because I secretly wish he would beg me back. He could not even say "I want to see you" (even though he changed his ticket to see me) so there will never be the kind of direct plea Bada Bing is getting. I know she is having a hard time too but at least her N is willing to put his pride aside and beg for her forgiveness.
Do you think my N will just forget what happened and go back to hanging out with buddies and cheap bar ladies?? I am a total romantic fool and we had a totally romantic connection - no sex, but very tender moments were shared.
Have I grown through the winter to be strong enough to handle the reality of N possibly going silent again with no attempt to heal friendship or do you think I have another emotional ass kicking ahead? I still love him but want to protect myself. Maybe my heart is too numb to get hurt again. I feel ZERO pain that we are not communicating. what is going on? I am glad that I saw him - it took alot of fear and pain away - I could see that I still care for him and that he has NO AWARENESS of himself or his impact on others...
Maybe I am detaching with love??
thank you everyone
IFGI
IFGI
I finally got it -
IFGI, I am going to
spinning
SPINNING
IFGI
SPINNING
ifinallygotit
I think maybe you have found
I think what you may have
I had that kind of sweet