What were some of the things your narco-path said when you spoke the truth

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Apr 10 - 5PM (Reply to #25)
neverlookback
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called me a c--t

over the phone, the coward couldnt even say it to me face to face, so I was unable to detach his balls
Apr 10 - 12AM
prettypeeved
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I don't think I'm

I don't think I'm anatomically equipped to be on the rag :-)
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #21)
TLSM
TLSM's picture

very cool!

A male is here! How refreshing! :-) I'm assuming you are from what you wrote...I definitely know your not a tree.
Apr 10 - 12PM (Reply to #22)
prettypeeved
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Yep, gay male here!

Yep, gay male here!
Apr 10 - 2PM (Reply to #23)
TLSM
TLSM's picture

:-D

So, you have an asshole ex narc, too, huh? Sounds like your ex was the drama queen, not you. Narcs are the biggest! Mine TOTALLY was! Called him that, too. I also called him a little bitch. Are there any other guys here???
Apr 10 - 12AM
prettypeeved
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"You're seeing things that

"You're seeing things that aren't there." The biggest issue wasn't a specific comment, it was that he would bend over backwards to come out with sentences that could be interpreted in many different ways, and any time you thought you'd caught him in some bullshit, you'd get the same ending: "I never said that. You misinterpreted me." The latest one, if this is actually aimed at me (it may not be), is that I'm a "drama queen" My narc father's approach is always the same: Deny it. "I don't remember that" - and to be honest, I think he genuinely doesn't remember the things that he's said or done. It's only when several family members compare notes that we can be sure we aren't imagining things.
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #17)
TLSM
TLSM's picture

gaslighting

You wrote: "I never said that. You misinterpreted me. Or "I never said that" (Ha! The selective memory trick). Mine did that same gaslighting crap to make it seem like I was crazy. Evil. Pure evil.
Apr 10 - 4PM (Reply to #19)
wisdomneeded
wisdomneeded's picture

gaslighting

The one I heard was ...."it is just a mis-communication"? Really! Really! just a mis-communication, I think NOT! You said that you NEVER FOUGHT WITH ANYONE ELSE.....Ha Ha Ha. What a lying jerk!
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #18)
Ariela
Ariela's picture

Same....

He did the same to me too. I actually thought I was going nuts.
Apr 9 - 11PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I can't believe the hateful

I can't believe the hateful things you say to me. Stop it right now. The things you say I'm doing to you are the things you are doing to me. You say I don't love you just because I don't do what you want. That's not healthy or fair Me: why wasn't I good enuf for you? Him: I'm paying for my bad decisions no need to rub it in
Apr 9 - 10PM
Steph
Steph's picture

great idea! my first N:

great idea! my first N: called me names like he was a 2 year old "dumb dumb" being my favourite. second one just turned it back to me: "this shouldn't bother you, something else must be going on with you", "you are just like my mother. she does this to me" "You're just being a bitch" "You're trying to control me" "Maybe you just don't handle stress well" and then I would believe all that garbage and bite my tongue and not call him on stuff....you know the drill. Crazymaking! Nothing beats you being on the rag for the entire relationship though.
Apr 9 - 10PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

GREAT GREAT GREAT POST THANK YOU!!

OMG you have no idea how something you just said TOTALLY healed me and put some of worst fears to rest! Let me explain. My narc is a criminal, and he told me that when he was breaking up with his ex-wife (about twelve years ago), he taped her phone conversations for the last three weeks of their marriage. Then a few nights later when I lit into him about some of his behavior, he said to me "Well maybe you can talk to your husband that way but you can't talk to me like that". So then my cell phone for three months has been doing the CRAZIEST shit! I thought OMG he's wiretapped my phone. But now that I'm looking at your post I think I may be totally off about the wiretapping, and that they just all say the same things. OMG.
Apr 9 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

p.s. and with the cell phone

p.s. and with the cell phone tapping fear, I had it because my husband DOES drive me nuts and I DO lose it with my husband a lot, so I thought the narc knew this because he was listening to my conversations! Can you believe the level of fear I have been living in from this asshole?
Apr 9 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
neverlookback
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Ya

and imagine mine being a Sheriff how he has access to so many things, I would be scared to death to leave my house if I didnt calm myself down and say, its ok you are safe, he lives three hours away. Level of fear: Sometimes I could kick myself for ever staying so long with this unstable, disturbed person, sometimes I think I was damn lucky I wasnt killed. Do you know what else dawned on me a few days back, my psycho went to my fathers funeral and I gave a eulogy and in my speech I mentioned how my father always called me MY DEAR, my psychopath called me MY DEAR through out our whole relationship, the bastard remembered that as he listened to my speech and how very much I adored and loved my father, now if that is not a predator I dont know what is. I complain so much on how much this man betrayed me but not once do I think about the DANGER I was in and how truly dangerous he was. That is something I think we lose sight of. We live in fear because they have something wrong mentally and that is NOT a person you want to have an affair with, I am SO GLAD I am far away from him and he cant just drive by or stalk me or follow me, that has been a blessing
Apr 10 - 12AM (Reply to #10)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

It's try they really all do

It's try they really all do have the potential for serious physical violence.
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #11)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

yes they do

I know one on this forum that have had the living crap beat out of them, she escaped him but he beat her very badly with his fists, USUALLY they are NOT violent but there are some that are. He was such a cheater that he would come home and his face would smell of a womans genitals, I KID YOU NOT, she could smell it - women know what that is!!!!! Strange after she called it on him the minute he got home he would run to the bathroom FIRST then greet her. I mean, really? Take a shower at least for Gods sakes!!! She said to him, I dont like the way you smell and he said, what are you talking about, he KNEW damn well what she was talking about. I am telling you they are animals, they have no conscience, values, morals, ethics, NOTHING and to think I was involved with someone who was so disordered like this. I am so bitter and scared that if I were divorced I wont even look TWICE at a man that is good looking, I will run like hell its ONLY TROUBLE and I know that is not true of all good looking men but that is how skeptical I am from this experience. Patiencegoal I really dont know if I can ever let myself love again, not even my husband I WILL NEVER EVER be hurt like this again, the wall is up and its not coming down.
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #12)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

nlookback

No you will let love in at some point. I know exactly where you are and I am in a similar place but it's going to get better. Listen, you know when someone is a narc right off the bat now. I know I do. I recognize it in people within minutes even if they are just female friends. So you will quickly start to weed narcs out of your hair and that will leave you So much more time for really loving and cool people.
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #13)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

Your right

I can spot them a mile away also, I dont even SPEAK to those I suspect are NOT RIGHT, male or female. I like your idea of working out, I joined a gym recently, that is open 24-7 and I am going to get rid of this weight I put on from depression - I think the exercise will raise my seratonin levels and help greatly. I felt wonderful when I was working out regularly a year ago but I became too depressed after I lost my job and fell into a deep depression. THen I went NC and good lord the first 6 weeks was hell I was a wreck - I am ready now
Apr 9 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
Steph
Steph's picture

what you wrote about him

what you wrote about him calling you "My Dear" like your father did.....is chilling. I have goosebumps reading that. SO happy you are out!!
Apr 9 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

I think

if someone can be THAT observant and try to win my trust with him as I did my father, you KNOW they are up to something that is NOT GOOD, that is the mind of a true criminal, my counselor always told me he was extremely smart and skilled at what he does. When I called him he would answer his phone, "Yes my dear"? I was soooo drawn to him calling me that in the beginning because it stirred up the love I had for my dad, and that is exactly why he did it too
Apr 9 - 11PM (Reply to #6)
Steph
Steph's picture

very calculative and

very calculative and manipulative. Sick doesn't even begin to describe it. So glad you had a wise councellor.
Apr 10 - 1AM (Reply to #7)
Ariela
Ariela's picture

They must be the same guy...

Towards the complete end I said to my whatever his is "Your a pathological liar." He said to me "That's neither here or there." HUH?
Apr 10 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
JLMNY1
JLMNY1's picture

Pretend

Mine told me I was in a fairytale and living our relationship like a fairytale, just because I thought if we had problems, we would try to work them out because that's what couple's do. Of course, I was the delusional one. He doesn't know that none of his unrealistic expecations for a girlfriend (or exwife) or future girlfriend will ever be fulfilled.
Apr 10 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

Yep...mine said I wanted to

Yep...mine said I wanted to live a soap opera and he didn't want to live a soap opera. He created the drama, not me!